Anyone have any good blonde jokes?

Question

im bored

Answer 1

try this LOL
A lady walks into a bar and says,
"Barkeep, gimme a martooni." The bartender goes back and fixes her a martini. She downs it and says, "Barkeep, gimme another martooni."
So he goes back and fixes her another martini. She downs that, and just sits there and doesn't say anything. Finally after about 10 minutes bartender says, "Would you like another?"
She says, "Oh, no, I got this terrible heartburn."
The bartender says, "Okay, there are three things wrong here:

Number 1: It's martini, not martooni.

Number 2: It's bartender, not barkeep, and

Number 3: You're not having heartburn, your boob's in the ash tray."

Answer 2

Here you go:

Blonde goes to the Doctors because her vibrator is stuck in there. One hour later the Doctor is taking off his mask....

"Well it`s good news and bad news Mrs Blondie Person!....The bad news is I can`t get it out, but the good news is I have managed to change the batteries!"



A stunning blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "But I don't have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother".

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect) "Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.

"Well then ,just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.

"Come in and close the door" the man said.

She did.

He then said "Now get on your knees".

She did.

"Now take down my zipper".

She did.

"Now go ahead, take it out ...." he said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands...then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered "Well...go ahead"

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it...and while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said...

"Hello, Mom...can you hear me?"

:o)