i've been living with my bf for almost a yr,n the thing is i always think he's cheating on me idk i just get these feelings. idk wat to do. and awhile back he told my cousin that he was going to ask me to marry him. but hasn't yet its been over 5 months you think he would have asked me by now but no. and what i want to know is if i should talk to him or not or just wait longer but i want to know b4 we move n stuff n i get into all this with him n buy a house because i don't want to put money into this n loose out on it n then have nothing since i'll be going to college soon n everything.. what do u guys think?
2006-09-13 08:43:24 · 18 answers · asked by babygirliebritt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Remember you gut feeling is usually the right one, if you think something is going on, you should just sit down and talk to him about it.
2006-09-13 08:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you haven't known each other that long. To liven in an apartment together this soon is usually a better idea then putting money into a house. A house if not managed properly and you two don't make it will ruin your credit.
Do you usually have a hard time trusting people? If so, then your gut might not be telling you what you need to know because it has a trust issue. Although normally, your gut should be the first instinct you go by. Because if you don't trust each other
Finally, communication is the key to a long, prosperous, and healthy relationship. If you are both able to sit down and talk things through, talk about anything, or just plain old talk, then now's the time to do it. If you aren't able to do that, then the relationship before it gets too serious should be re-evaluated.
2006-09-13 09:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by MrsDiaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
From what you've said, this is what I've gathered.
1. Your boyfriend is probably not paying too much attention to you, he probably keeps to himself and definitely has a life apart from you.
2. You are clear about the things you want to do, and somewhere you feel that he doesn't fit into your plans as smoothly as you would like him to.
Well, the thing about not trusting him, could be a gut instinct, but it could also be you trying to find some reason to show your dissatisfaction towards the relationship and find a rationalization in that feeling.
You sound practical, and you are concerned about your future and want certain things in life. From what you say, I'm not sure if you two are on the same page.
I think you should discuss your expectations of your relationship with him, and clear things out. The thing about what he told your cousin is a big warning sign, that you are not communicating with each other enough, and are always looking for signs outside of the two of you to tell you where the relationship is headed. That's not good.
Talk it out. Clear your intentions. And then you'll be in a position to make a decision.
2006-09-13 09:00:01 · answer #3 · answered by friedpaw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you are just about to go to college then I would say give it some time. You are still very young and there is plenty of time for that.
If you think your BF is cheating on you then you need to ask him about it. Has he done anything to make you feel this way or do you "just have a feeling?"
If he told your cousin that he's going to ask you to marry him 5 months ago ... that doesn't mean much at all. how long have you guys been dating? You've been living together for almost a year but have you been dating longer? That's not really much time, especially if you are still so young. You have a lot of living left to do.
2006-09-13 08:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. You've been with him for a year and still can't communicate with him? Communication is really important. Ask him about the marriage thing. It seems odd that he's never said anything more about it for over 5 months. If you want to get to the point with him just ask him if he's cheating and tell him that you don't have time to waste on a nowhere relationship. If he is cheating then at least you can live in a dorm unitl you find a roommate or just get your own place. If he still doesn't completely explain himself and you still have a feeling he's cheating get your own place anyway and see if he still calls you and see you. Then you'll know for sure I guess.
2006-09-13 08:53:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't buy a home or invest in any major purchases with this man before you are married! It can end in total disaster!
As for having a strange feeling that he is cheating, how could you even consider saying yes to marrying someone that you suspect is cheating on you? I just don't get a lot of the women on this site. They talk about how much they love their man, but that they think he cheats on them, but they want to marry him. WHAT? Have more self-respect!!! You are worth much more than that and should believe it.
If you have to hire someone to spy on him in order to feel completely sure that he's not cheating, then do it. You will be miserable if you marry him, not knowning if he's cheating or not. Marriages, first and foremost are built on TRUST and LOVE! You can not have a successful marriage if you don't trust your spouse to be faithful to you.
Good Luck!
2006-09-13 10:34:51 · answer #6 · answered by J B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will ask when he is ready maybe he wants to be more prepared if he don't even have a house or anything yet maybe he is waiting till he has his **** together if you really want to know if he wants to marry you you could say something like i have always liked the idea of having a long engagement before i get married so that we both know its what we want and then he would not feel so pressured to marry you real fast after asking he would still have time to get things together and let you know how he feels at the same time. but you still need to deal with the fact that you think he is cheating on you deal with it before you Marie him
2006-09-13 09:30:42 · answer #7 · answered by dydy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have very little faith in your relationship. Lack of trust is very bad for a relationship! I really think you should do some very deep soul searching and really ask yourself all the tough questions you have asked here!
You have to do whats best for you and your future. Its possible that you are making "something out of nothing" but maybe you arent??? Do what "feels" right for you! Thats the most important thing!
Good luck!
2006-09-13 09:21:08 · answer #8 · answered by christine a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he marry you? He's already getting it all, everything he wants. Why would he go to the trouble of marrying you?
Move out on your own and limit your contact with him. He'll either have a change of heart, or you will find out his true nature.
DO NOT BUY A HOUSE WITH HIM. PERIOD.
2006-09-13 14:15:54 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you shouldna moved in with him, now he really doesn't have to marry you for anything, does he? Don't listen to gossip that puts words in your guy's mouth. If he's cheating, well - he can, because you're not married, right, so there's no commitment. I think you had better talk to your mommy!
2006-09-13 11:59:00 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋