I want to help her but i am still in love with her and i dont want to be hurt again since she doesn't want to work things out between us
2006-09-13 08:10:13 · 15 answers · asked by pony377 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well, it's not an easy thing to do, to stand by and watch her drown in problems,but at the same time, if you are in love with her still,and don't want to be hurt again, keep in mind that you aren't the one who could make her happy and that you'll end up hurt again.My advice is to just leave her alone, even though it's going to be hard for you. But it's for you that you need to. Don't take this as crappy advice, some of the most clear cut advice, what you yourself already know you should do, is the hardest to go through with.
2006-09-13 08:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by t.larae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want be your lover, you have to accept that. So you didn't get the perfect amazing relationship you imagined would be amazing if she wanted you. So what, grow up, realize that it probably wasn't gonna be everything you imagined anyway. Then don't blame her for her feelings and choices, whatever they are. Then see if you can be there and help her as a friend without trying to getinto her panties. If you can't, stay away. If you can, then help her as a good friend. Maybe in the future things change, maybe they don't. Oh yeah, make sure you find somebody better for yourself also, if soembody like that exists.
2006-09-13 08:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love someone and they don't love you but they do want you to do things for them that is called being used. Don't do it. What reason is there to do it? It is your feelings for her (or the ideas about her in your head more precisely) that are causing you to want to help her...its the fact that she knows you have those ideas or feelings that are causing her to ask, she knows she can walk all over you and get you to do what she wants, but she'll excuse her using you by telling herself that she told you she didn't want you back and you chose to help anyway....and she'll be right. Basically she is giving you the option about whether to be a sucker or not and it sounds like you are choosing to be one. If you do that, especially knowing what you know going in to it, you obviously will get hurt and you will have earned it for yourself. Letting someone use you will never convince them to care for you, all you will get is used. Trust me, I've been her and I've had ex's like you...the only thing you feel for them is a total lack of respect because they won't stand up to you, because they keep letting you do it to them. How much respect or real 'love' would you feel for a girl that let you stop by whenever you wanted, take from her whatever you wanted and then left, especially if you could do it all while telling her straight to her face you don't care about her? I'm thinking that you would not have a very high opinion of her...this girl won't have one about you either. Her problems are hers, most likely created by her and she needs to get her own butt out of them.
2006-09-13 08:18:33 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop....she is not your responsibility. Her life has nothing to do with you and is none of your business. Even if she is asking for help, she has no right to because she chose not to be a part of your life. I know this sounds cruel, but you have feelings for her and if you get involved in her life in any way, shape, or form, you will get hurt. You need to focus on your life and she needs to find someone else to help her with her problems.
2006-09-13 08:16:07 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
help yourself and stay away from her. Go out and find some new tail. It'll take ur mind off of the bit*h real quick.
2006-09-13 08:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by okitodd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. If you have feelings there is NO way you can help her and not think about getting back togther. Your subconciese will think after helping her she'll want to get back together...
Move on.
2006-09-13 08:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by The First 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if you still care about her and you want her to be happy.. help her with her problem whatever it may be.. and for you helping her, she will appreciate it.. try to do the friends thing right and she may realize her true feelings for you also. be patient
2006-09-13 08:15:16 · answer #7 · answered by chstarponchild 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my bf was going through the same thing before i came along....find someone else and move on because you will only get hurt...i came and i saved his day...think about it
2006-09-13 08:14:43 · answer #8 · answered by Cassie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of her life completely. Its easier that way.
2006-09-13 08:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure she doesn't want to work things out between you two? show her you care. as in you really care. :)
2006-09-13 08:12:04 · answer #10 · answered by Grasshopper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋