how do u get married? how should i propose to my girlfriend? how does this stuff work?

Question

i don't know how a marriage works? how should i propose to my girlfriend? Why does the woman get two rings, can i give one ring instead? can i propose without a ring and then give a ring at the alter? What if i don't really want family to be there? What is the traditional way to have a SMALL wedding? what is done at the reception? please help me? :)

Answer 1

Marriage is a wonderful thing!
It can be intimidating, stressful, and annoying, but it is the most beautiful thing to share all your happiness and joy, and sadness and fears with someone you trust completely.

Proposing is so fun! I knew when my husband was going to do it, cause we had talked about marriage and picked out a ring, but surprises are so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A surprise is the best kind of proposal ever, provided you are both ready and willing to marry each other. It would suck to be rejected.

Marriage is complicated (the lifelong thing, not the wedding). I would recommend reading a book for basic concepts like finances, having children, respect and dignity for your mate, and other things like that. I'm sure they have "Marriage for Dummies" or something like that in the self help section.

Rings are not always necessary right away. I recommend a minimum of one ring. A ring symbolizes your eternal commitment to your mate because it goes around and around forever. I have two rings, but would have completely understood if my husband only wanted me to have one. My set cost about $3,500 all together, and I get compliments all the time on how beautiful it is. Engagement rings are usually more expensive because they are generally diamond solitaires. My solitaire is .75 carats, and my wedding band has five smaller diamonds equalling .5 carats. It is very common however for couples to exchange simple gold bands with no diamonds. Many couples upgrade their rings later in life when financial status has improved.

Weddings are all about the couple. If there is pressure from family members, you can explain that it is immediate family only. No cousins, aunts or uncles, or friends excepts the bridal party, or maybe even more people. It's up to you. Many couples have a simple civil service wedding at the city hall, or a small church wedding, just the two of them and then invite the whole family to the reception. Receptions are where the celebration takes place!! Party!! This is when you share your joy and happiness of wedded bliss with everyone you know!!! It can be very costly though however. Decent places charge about $30-50 per person!!!

I personally hate my family, but I had to invite them all because they paid for my reception. You win some, then you lose some. Every situation is different. It is not necessary to live with your mate before getting married. I am Christian, so religiously cohabitation is a sin. However, cohabitation is very common, and helps you realize what you're getting yourself into. But you should know someone inside out like the back of your hand before you want to marry them.

Lastly, I'll provide two proposal ideas. I always dreamt of receiving a kitten with an engagement ring on its collar. Also, if you live near one of those build a bear places, you can build a bear wearing a tuxedo holding a box, bag, or pillow with a place for a ring and give it as a gift.

Answer 2

Hey,

Slow down. Tackle one thing at a time. Focus on the important stuff. Why do you want to get married?

If it's for the sake of love, then why do you have so many questions? Just tell her you love her and want to get married to her.

You could slip a ring into an ice cream cone or have a mime artist give it to her. And say I love you in mime. The ring doesn't have to be expensive, it can be silver, or wire, or beads...what matters is how much do you love her. You could even write her a poem and propose to her, or sing a song.

When she accepts, sit and chat with her. Be excited. Most women have dreams of their wedding day. And deciding to get married means that you share all decisions with each other. Ask her what kind of a wedding she'd like. Tell her what kind you'd like (a small one in a chapel on a quiet island, with very few invitees?). Reach a con census.

Marriage is a social ritual. If it wasn't, I doubt whether anyone would get married at all. They'd just fall in love, have babies and live happily ever after. But society decided that people must be married, and in front of people they know so that that marriage is accepted.

Find out how important family is to her, who she considers special and would like to invite for the wedding. Draw up your list. Decide on venue and food. Also take steps to register your marriage.

Things like 'Why does the woman get two rings, can i give one ring instead?' are too rational at this point in time. You have to think higher than that. Also, you can propose without a ring, but a ring, for most women, is a sign that someone else has staked claim on this woman.

At the reception, call all the people known to you. Mingle around, smile a lot - the photographs taken on this day will be seen by you everyday.

Answer 3

From the way you are asking, it seems that you are pretty young. This isn't a bad thing, but if you don't have a lot of experience on how to go about getting engaged, then married, you've got no idea what kind of responsibility comes with a marriage once you're there.

Being a husband is a HUGE responsibility and you should only consider marriage if you are 100% (yes, COMPLETELY) sure that this is the ONE woman for you, the only one you want to be with for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! Will she be a good mother to your children? Will she be a good wife? Can you imagine being old with her?

If you are young (younger than 25) I would say, take it slow. Get to know each other better. Spend some time. You just can't really know someone until you known them for a long time, seen them go through good times and bad.

About the other stuff you asked about, you dont' need any rings to get married if you don't want them. They are just a symbol. You only need love, a marriage license and an officiant (someone who is licensed to marry couples). Go on www.theknot.com for more information on getting engaged, planning weddings and etiquette.

Please, though, take it slow. If you take your time you can avoid learning the hard way and possibly ending up divorced (like 50% of all marriages do today).

Answer 4

BREATHE! Ignore all the nay sayers. If you want to get married, be romantic and unique in how you ask her. When she says yes, GIVE HER A RING. The ring symbolizes your promise. You give her the wedding ring at the time of the marriage ceremony. It is worn first, the engagement ring goes on 2nd. (wedding band closest to the heart) If you don't want family, don't have them there. It's your choice. Just remember you (hopefully) will only do this once. Get married at the court house for a very small wedding. You'll need to get a marriage licence first. Some states still require a blood test. Maybe have a small reception later. At the reception people usually have music, dance, eat dinner and have cake. They are there to celebrate with you on one of the biggest days of your life. If you are so unsure how to do things, you may want to consider waiting a while to ask her. GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

It is nice to ask the permission of the parents (especially father). I wouldn't mention anything about not cheating on her. The rest of the stuff is ok...but no sense even bringing up something negative, even though you don't plan on doing it. Try to surprise and catch her off guard. But make it romantic as well. She will remember that moment the rest of her life and tell everyone she knows. Maybe you could plan a weekend getaway or something and do it then. Here's what I did. I got a room at a hotel nearby and said that my sister was in town and she had a free night at the hotel, so she and her boyfriend were going to be in town. I had already told Jess that I'd take her out to a fondue restaurant that Friday night (it was a few days after her birthday). So I said my sister and her boyfriend would be joining. We weren't living together yet so I checked into the hotel, spread rose petals all around and lit like 20 candles. Then I went to pickup my now wife. I told her we were stopping by my sister's hotel room for a drink before dinner. I had called her just to go along and help sell the story. We got up to the hotel room and she was surprised. I did it then...and no my sister wasn't actually in town. I'm lucky I didn't set off any fire alarms in the hotel, but it was worth the risk. Do whatever you feel comfortable with though and what you can afford, etc. You don't have to spend a ton on an activity to do, just make sure it comes from the heart. I have heard that doing it in a restaurant during dinner is very akward, but it could be romantic though. Good luck! p.s. The engagement/wedding planning period sucks, so try to set a date less than a year away.

Answer 6

Propose to your girlfriend in the most romantic way that you can think of. Have an engagement ring ready to give to her. Choose a nice diamond solitaire. Most ladies like to have an engagement ring first and then a wedding band to match it later at the wedding ceremony. You should have a wedding band too. Go together with your gf to jewelry stores and look at them all before making any decisions.

Together decide on a wedding date. Then apply for a license to marry at your city or county courthouse. You will also most likely need blood testing so allow plenty of time for results.

If you don't want family at your wedding, then elope or just go to a justice of the peace. That person will marry you without any fanfare at all.

Of course, all of this stuff depends on if you & your gf are of legal age.

Answer 7

The engagement ring should be the price of what you gross in 2 months. You want to propose in the matter she would expects. The engagement ring means that she promises to marry you (if it don't work out you get it back), the wedding band finalizes the marriage. It's the millennium, have her get you an engagement ring also. Good luck, I hope it works out.

Answer 8

You can purpose without a ring and let her help pick it out. most girls like a engagement ring though , just something simple , heck target sells cubic rings which is a fake diamond with sterling silver for cheap... until you two pick it out. Most people i know go to the first place they met and purpose ask her to marry you... This is the first step then you two should be the ones to decide together how your wedding will go.. But keep in mind a wedding is a girls chance to be a princess , girls dream of this day since they were little so let her be a big part of it .... And make it special...

Answer 9

Listen to me. Only seriously consider doing this if you have LIVED with her for 6 months. Then and only then should you procede with the rest of my advice.

Propose to her with the ring that you have choosen with the ring in a box and your knee on the ground to show that you are humble and serious.

When you actually have the wedding tell her you want a privite wedding with only her and you there. One year after the first official wedding, then you can have the public wedding. The reason for this is because the wedding should only be about you and her and the privite wedding will give you a year to save for and plan for the public wedding.

Answer 10

a marriage is made up of two people that love each other and want to spend the rest of there life togheter. you can propose how ever you want. be creative. the reason there are two ring is bc one is the engagement ring and the other one is the actual marriage ring. its up to you if you want to get her two ring. when u propese ur suppost to have a ring but its up to u if you want. now a days they are making the ring one with the two togheter but its kinda expensive. and at ur weddign is how u want it if you want family thats fine if you just wan it to be the two of you hten fine to but you have to think of waht she want to not just u. alot of people are just goin to the court house and getting married it only takes about 10 min if it not busy all u have to do is get a marriage license bring each of ur socials any ideas it depends of the state. and after u have ur license get a judge to marry u ita about 110 $ for everything and then later on if you want an actual weddign you can have one family and friends ect.