What is the funniest joke you've ever heard? Best One Gets 10 Pts!?

Answer 1

Here's one of my fav's...

A priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar. Bartender takes one look at them and says, "Is this a joke?"

Answer 2

there replaced right into a guy sitting at a bar, while unexpectedly he reached interior his jacket, and have been given out a miniture piano. It replaced into approximately 10 inches severe. The barmen regarded over, curious. Following this, the guy reached interior his jacket lower back and delivered out somewhat guy! It replaced right into a tiny, actual life guy, approximately 10 inches severe. The tiny guy sat down and started to play the piano brilliantly, like a professional. ending the 1st music, the barman replaced into greatly surprised! "how the heck did you get that!" He asked the guy. the guy spoke back: properly, i found a genie in a bottle, yet he replaced right into somewhat deaf. enable's basically say i did no longer precisely ask for a ten inch pianist. *Edit* I remembered yet another: A pregnant female replaced into having an ultrasound while her healthcare professional asked "will the daddy be recent on the beginning?" the female spoke back "No, he and my husband do no longer likely get alongside." hehe wish those made ya giggle

Answer 3

There was a blonde cop that pulled over a blonde lady that had been speeding on the highway, the blonde cop walked up to the window and asked to see her license and registration. The blonde driver finds her registration but cannot find her license. So the blonde driver asks the blonde cop, "What does it look like?" The blonde cop replied, "It's kind of square and has a picture of you on it..." So the blonde driver fumbles around a little bit more in her car to find it... she finally came across a square compact, opened it and saw that it was her! She handed the compact to the blonde cop as her license, when the blonde cop opened it she said "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am... I didn't know you were a cop...!"

Answer 4

An old woman's husband Harold had passed away and she missed him so much that she cut off his dick and nailed it to the floor beside the bed. Every night she would ride Harold before she went to bed. One day a cable man came over to fix her cable and accidentally came across this and got an idea. He cut a hole where the dick was and every night would crawl under the house and put his in its place. This went on for a while then one night the woman came in and reached down grabbed a hold of the dick with one hand and had a butchers knife in the other hand. She said in a loud voice. OK Harold MOVING DAY .....

Answer 5

if I knew how to type with more than one key at a time, I"d tell ya, but it"d take me 4 days to get it on here and the question is only up for 3 days

Answer 6

Code for Sex

There was a couple who did not want their children to know when they were going to have sex, so they decided on a code of ''writing a letter.'' One day, Daddy said to his daughter, ''Tell your mommy that Daddy wants to write a letter.'' The girl went and told her mommy and the mom said,
''The red ribbon is coming out, not now.'' The girl went back to the daddy and told him.

One day, Mommy told her daughter to tell her daddy that she wanted to write a letter. Daddy replied, ''Not now. Daddy already wrote the letter by hand.''

Answer 7

A bear was chasing as rabbit around the forest when a frog jumped out in front of them. The frog put up his webbed foot and said, "Stop! I am the -Stop-Chasing-Each-Other-Frog and I will give you each three wishes if you stop chasing each other."
The bear and the rabbit agree to stop until the frog goes away again. Being greedy and impatient, the bear says, "Me first! My first wish is: I want to be the only male bear in the forest!"
The frog says, "Done! You are the only male bear in this forest. And rabbit? Your first wish?"
"I want a riding boots and a full-helmet!"
The frog gives him what he wants and the bear snickers silently, thinking what a stupid rabbit he is.
"My next wish: I want to be the only male bear in this country!" the bear says next.
The frog waves his foot and proclaims it done.
"I want a super fast motorbike!" the rabbit beams.
The frog nodds and -poof- the rabbit has his bike.
The bear falls over laughing, as he can't imagine what the rabbit is thinking.
"My last wish:", the bear says through tears,"I want to be the only male bear in the whole world!"
The frog sighs, rolls his eyes but does as the bear wants. "You are the only male bear left in this world. And rabbit? Your last wish?"
The rabbit thinks awhile, calmly climbs onto his bike, starts it and, looking back over his shoulder, points to the bear and smirks, "Make that stupid bear a homosexual!"

Answer 8

give metal paw his ten points or i cry bloody foul............came here for 2 point ........ got the best joke i had in a long time