Dad AND Stepdad to walk me down the aisle?

Question

My parents divorced when I was very young and my mother remarried a few years later to a wonderful man, my stepfather. My dad was always there for me financially, but my stepdad, since I was four years old, has been my backbone. I wanted to know if it would be ok to somehow incorporate my Stepdad into my wedding ceremony, as well as my dad.

I know that this is my choice, but I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings...

Answer 1

It is not at all uncommon for a gal to have her stepdad walk her down the aisle if he is the one she considered to be "daddy." Just because your biological dad helped give you life and has taken care of you financially doesn't make him your father.

A couple of ideas:

* You could have one man on each arm and have them BOTH walk you down the aisle.
* You could walk down the aisle alone.
* You could have your Mom walk you down the aisle.
* You could have one man do a reading. Or maybe both men.

Whatever you do, make sure you talk openly and honestly to your dad, stepdad, AND your mom. The last thing you are going to want are misunderstands or hurt feelings.

Answer 2

Congratulations on your wedding! You sound like you want to be gracious to both of them which is a good sign. Some girls don't even think about the consequences of the little details.

Have you considered having your mother walk you down the aisle? Or perhaps not having anyone walk you in? You can always have a daddy daughter dance with both of your dads at the reception and recognize them in that way.

If your stepdad is the man who has primarily acted as your father through the years he should definitely be recognized and given a place of honor.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm in the same dilemma, but I just went with my gut feeling. My father will always be my father, but I'm just not that close to him. I will always be his daughter yet we can't get along. Sometimes things just happen this way. My stepfather has only been around for a few years but hes been more supportive of me than my biological father. I'm having my father walk me down the aisle and my stepfather perform the ceremony. That way they both get to perform an important part of the ceremony.

Answer 4

Your actual dad is the doorstep dad. Your organic and organic father is your sperm donor. the doorstep dad replaced into there on a daily basis of you life for the final 19 years. all your sperm donor has carried out is talk over with you over the telephone as quickly as each 2 years. the doorstep dad replaced into the guy who made specific that there replaced right into a heat mattress which you could sleep on, money to purchase foodstuff to fill your abdomen, kissed your skinned knee, attended your college performs, lost sleep aggravating approximately you, and so on. and you're discrediting him with the help of bearing on somebody who did no longer pay a nickle in newborn help or call you extra desirable than two times a twelve months your "actual dad" and honoring him with the help of asking him to stroll you down the aisle. the guy of your princess fairytale desires is the doorstep dad. Who cares if the guy who abandoned you 19 years in the past feels undesirable that he does not walk you down the aisle. He hasn't earned the astonishing to stroll you down the aisle. Your actual dad is the doorstep dad and he's the guy who has earned the astonishing to stroll you down the aisle. he's your daddy.

Answer 5

Do it as long as your two dads accept the idea. If you want to incorporate a little more symbolism, start down the aisle with just your father and have your stepfather join you part way. If both dads want to walk you down alone and won't accept the other doing it, walk by yourself or chose your godfather.

Answer 6

It would be too awkward with two at once. How about having your real dad walk you from the doorway - have your stepdad waiting halfway up the aisle, your bio dad hands you off to stepdad, then stepdad walks you up the rest of the aisle to the front of the church?

Answer 7

I had the same problem at my wedding only it was my Dad & my Grandfather. My Grandfather was the one who was always around & my father figure. What I did was let my Dad walk & be in the "father's place", while my grandfather was at my other elbow walking me down the aisle as well. I wouldn't have had it any other way. You could also have one walk you halfway down, and have the other there waiting to walk you the rest of the way. Good Luck!

Answer 8

this is your wedding. you have whomever you WANT to walk down the aisle with you, walk down the aisle with you... I understand where you're comming from and it's probably very frustrating trying to incorperate both dads. Have you considered having your step-dad walk you down the aisle and dancing the "daugter/dad" dance with your real dad, or vice versa. Or, out of respect for the man who brought you into the world, explain that you want to incorperate your step dad and give your real dad the choice of walking down the isle or that first dance. Your step dad will be perfectly happy just being included so intimately on your day that he'll be happy with whatever he gets. Best Wishes on your wedding!

Answer 9

I had a friend who had the same issue. She had a beautiful wedding in which her stepdad walked her down the aisle. At the reception, she danced her "father/daughter" dance with her biological dad. Both of them were supportive of her decision, and it was very touching.

Answer 10

In keeping with tradition, I guess it would have to be your biological father...but legally I don't think there's anything to stop you choosing your stepfather.

I would talk to them both about your dilemma if you can. You may find that one of them did not expect to do the task in the first place. If the reverend/priest is ok with it, I don't see why they can't both walk you down the aisle like you suggested!