My four year son insists on running away when we're at the store. I have to chase him with people staring at me. This happens when I pick him up from pre school, at the store, everywhere. How do I get him to understand that he needs to stay with me without showing my anger??? Please help! I'm becoming really frustrated!
2006-09-13 06:39:01 · 28 answers · asked by Smiles 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Also, I can't leave him with a sitter. My husband works all day. There's no one to leave him with. Besides, I don't wanna bother his grandparents just so I can run to the store alone. He's my child.
2006-09-13 07:05:03 · update #1
Write to Super Nanny. If nothing happens with her, just know that there are kids out there worse than yours.
2006-09-13 06:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by ce1121 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Definite power struggle going on. You need to make it very clear to him that you are in control, you are the parent. Explain to him that this behavior is not acceptable and that every time he does it, there will be consequences - you'll have to be clear about what the consequences will be - it could be that he has to go to bed 1/2 hour earlier, he will lose a favorite toy for a day, etc. When he does not run away, make sure and reward that good behavior by telling him what a big boy he is, maybe you could make a special treat or he gets to put a gold star on the calendar at home, whatever special thing you come up with. The key is to be consistent about it. He will soon learn that it is much more to his benefit to behave than not.
2006-09-13 06:47:07 · answer #2 · answered by CHERYL E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every child is different, however I had the same problem. I would always let them know how scared I am that someone will take them away, the talks never helped. One day I took her into a store that wasn't very crowded, and sure enough she took off. I made sure I kept out of her site while keeping my eyes on her. I didn't come out when she called and waited until she started crying from fear. Then I hugged her and told her how scared I was that someone had taken her. It only happened on one other occassion, and I did the same thing, it never happened again after that.
2006-09-13 06:51:41 · answer #3 · answered by J j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you want him to be safe.....and that there is a difference in Mommy being mad and Mommy being scared that he is safe.
You are the parent here....assert yourself now, or face worse problems! ....This is how I handled my step-son.
As for my own sons, I told them I would leave them at the location if they did not remain with me at all times. I even went to the store door and said "bye, see you later" ....that alone got them to my side in a hurry!
Explain to him also that he is too short, (little) for drivers to see him, if he runs out in front of a car.
Some kids are smart for their age, and need to know the reason WHY they should do what you ask. Sometimes simply explaining your reasons in a more adult manner works...but it always depends on the child.
2006-09-13 06:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Supernanny says to remove him from the situation until he calms down. If he's misbehaving in the store, take him to the car and let him know that his behavior is unacceptable. He will eventually grow out of this stage. Whatever you do, don't reward bad behavior. I hate when a see a child throwing a tantrum, then the mother buys the child a bag of Skittles. Try telling your child that you will reward him for good behavior. Try positive reinforcement:)
2006-09-13 06:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by Proud mother! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand you not having a infant not with the flexibility to empathize with the mother and dad of the screaming infant....I in spite of the undeniable fact that mom of three, been there performed that and bore public ridicule can understand the not person-friendly challenge the mother and dad have been in. We now stay in a society the place if the mother and dad had corrected the child by ability of grabbing,spanking, or elevating their voices by ability of the overpowering majority they may be considered as some form of abuser. toddlers do circulate by way of stages, yet they do outgrow them. I had my days..yet my toddlers are all 9 and up now and that i very usually get complimented on how nicely behaved and well mannered they're. So do not challenge...there remains desire on your screaming criminal.
2016-10-14 23:19:12 · answer #6 · answered by reus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe how many people out there think the first thing to do is to hit him!
You have to let him know that his behavior is not acceptable.
At 4 years of age he can understand consequences. My daughter used to think it was funny to run from me in the store. I was terrified. Then I started letting her carry one of those little boxes of animal crackers through the store with her and we would buy it if she stayed with me. I only had to not buy once for her to figure it out. Of course that one time was AWFUL!
Don't give in! They will learn that very quickly also. But you already know that!
2006-09-13 07:44:24 · answer #7 · answered by MomDude 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At four yrs old he might still be small enough to put in the cart at the store. Or you can get a child harness it sound mean but it might help. Have you tried asking him wht he might be upset with? Maybe try therapy, at his age the Docs do what is called play therapy. It might help. My son was very angry for along time and the therapy brought it out. How does he act at school? Is he trying to get a reaction from u?
2006-09-13 06:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by GRISSIOM PURE GENIUS 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When he starts his tantrums or wont stay with you immediately leave the store and go to the car. Start leaving him at home or with a friend when you go to the store and eventually is will dawn on him that he doesnt get to go in or to the store cuz of the way he acts!
2006-09-13 06:41:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is learned behavior...he has gotten away with many times and so he is continuing with it and will continue unless you, the PARENT, puts a stop to it. You need to show him you're in charge. He needs to be disciplined...a slap on the behind, leaving him at home (supervised, of course) when you go on your trips to the store, time outs, taking away a favourite item or activity as a consequence for him acting up....what ever method or combination of methods you chose, you must be consistent. When he behaves in public, you can reward his good behavior and let him know what he is being punished for and rewarded for. But don't be afraid to discipline him....a good spanking always helps.
2006-09-13 06:51:06 · answer #10 · answered by kingston girl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your child has learned that running will get all of your attention, as does screaming. You have to punish for bad behavior and reward for good behavior. Set him in the corner for 15 or 20 minutes
2006-09-13 06:42:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋