Is it OK to whoop a stepchild ?

Question

I've been dating this woman 4 abt four years off and on. Now we are getting married and living together. Her child is 10 and a bit out of control.He shows little respect for her and none for his father. I'm old school(rasied my the belt), and i think this child needs some leather to get thing rite.

Answer 1

Hey ive been with a man for 5 years and i give him every right to punish my children. If your going to be the step-father you are his father....He has two fathers. Play that role. And as long as your soon to be wife is okay with it. Go right ahead. Kids need to learn. Thats whats wrong with todays kids. None of them are punished!!! and you have the little spoiled brats running the show! sick n tired of seeing that! Parents deserve respect period! Goodluck!!!!!

Answer 2

First of all- he is 10 years old and it should be his MOM disciplining him. He doesnt see u as authority because u came into the relationship when he was older. Giving him the belt will only make it worse on u both. Talk with him- let him know iu r there for him if he needs to talk- let him know u r not trying to take his mom from him or trying to take his dads place. Make one day a week- say Saturdays a day that you and he do something ALONE together that he enjoys doing- go carts-skating-movies- ANYTHING that the two of you can do together. Once he sees you are an ok guy and that u really do care about him and his mom- I completely believe it will get better! Until then his mom needs to start taking things from him- video games-computer-time at firneds and so on! it will mean more coming from her Good luck to u

Answer 3

No, don't spank a child. Teach them respect, not violence. Being a stepfather, you'll have to work extra hard at the respect thing. His father will likely be able to do anything and he'll still idolize him. So ignore that and work on yourself and your relationship with "your" son. First you need to start feeling that he's your son. If you're getting married, you're also marrying him, and he'll need a lot of acceptance from you, no matter what he does. Spend a lot of time with him, do things he enjoys, communicate on his level. Teach him things and he'll respect you. But if you turn all your attention into negative attention, he'll never respect you, and that certainly won't teach him respect for anyone else. Tolerate how his mother treats him, she may spoil him some in feeling guilty for him not having his bio-dad. You'll have to be real patient in this situation.

Answer 4

Talk to the mother about it, if she has no problem then go for it. My husband gave me permission to whoop his son but I still let him handle the discipline just because I'm never allowed time to bond with the child so I don't want him to just get negative from me. But, I agree with you. I don't believe in all that time-out crap, I'll take a time out and whoop the mess out of you. The bible says, "spare the rod, spoil the child". My stepson really don't give me problems anyway because he knows his dad will whoop his tail. A lot of people been whooped and came out just fine...time out, yeah right.

Answer 5

I think 10 is a little too old to be spanked. Since he's bigger, the parents tends to hit harder leaving bruises and getting the parents into trouble. I know it's hard not to want to spank the child, but you'll have to think of alternatives. Besides, it's the mother and father's obligation before it's yours.

Answer 6

Needless to say you really don't have any rights on the form of discipline he is need of. Its the mother's responsibility.. As well, spanking is not the answer. There are other ways to discipline..

4 to 12 Years

Effective:

Positive Reinforcement

Redirecting

Verbal Instruction/Explanation

Time-outs

Establishment of Rules

Grounding

Withholding Privileges

13 to 16 Years

Effective:

Positive Reinforcement

Verbal Instruction/Explanation

Establishment of Rules

Grounding

Withholding Privileges

Ineffective:

Redirecting

Time-outs

Positive Reinforcement
Focusing on good behavior instead of bad behavior. Parental attention is one of the most powerful forms of positive reinforcement.


Redirecting
This technique literally involves the simple act of redirecting your child to appropriate behavior.


Verbal Instruction/Explanation
Going over what you want your child to do and why can help him/her develop good judgment.


Time-outs
Time-outs involve physically removing your child from a problem situation. Sending your child to a neutral and "boring" area, such as the corner of a room with no toys or television, and ignoring him/her until he/she is calm and quiet. Time-outs should not last longer than five minutes. One minute of time-out per year of life is a good rule of thumb.


Establishing Rules
Explain your rules and be prepared to repeat them until your child learns to follow them on his/her own.


Grounding
A technique effective with school-age children and teenagers, it involves restricting your child to a certain place, usually home or his/her room, as punishment. For example, "grounding" your child on a Saturday night as punishment for breaking curfew on Friday night.


Withholding Privileges
Children should learn that privileges come with responsibility and they need to be earned. In order to be effective, this technique should be used infrequently. A privilege that is valued by the child, such as watching television or playing with friends, should be removed.

~Mel

Answer 7

Best you not do it. Your asking for some big trouble. You could end up with some disasterous results.
If he is this way, find some ways of punishment that are last drastic. Now days, what you would like to do will put you in harms way.
Take some priveleges away and stick to that. dont back off.
you might want to see if there are some more practical ways of deling with this kid and keep yourself from being troubled by the strong arm of the law.

Answer 8

Wow, various the solutions from women kinda ask your self me. interior the 1st place you do no longer ought to recover from something and you should place this newborn in her place. yet, that may not a foul place it rather is a stable place. Her difficulty is that she is uncertain of this comprehensive element so she reaches out for defense interior the only way she is conscious how. interest. She is sorting out the waters of you attractiveness. the subject right here is that she is insecure approximately you, her father and her. talk over along with her and enable her comprehend precisely the style you sense. you could no longer make a newborn maintain with the help of speaking, in spite of the fact that it rather is the 1st step. when you clarify issues to her, take care of her with love and appreciate. And tell her that the way of people who love one yet another is the way of affection and appreciate. Be sort to her and insist that she appreciate your marriage and relationship this is on your place. in case you do no longer, think of what this could be like while she is 15 and purely deals along with her father... stable luck..

Answer 9

Yeah, you better get his ***. Thats how I was raised to. If the child is under your roof, it's your rules. And he's 10 too? Oh hell yeah, as it is he already knows your not his birth father so he's gonna take that to every advantage, but you sit his *** down and lett him know wasup. That's your house, your the authority not some 10 year old kid.

Answer 10

i believe a child needs a good whooping now and then. but you will get in big trouble with the law....you will be charged with child abuse. my daughter is out of control and talks back and does not respect me, but I wont lay a hand on her. because i came from a messed up family, my mother beat me regually. and i mean not whooping for being bad. I mean full fledge torture and child abuse. i was mentally, verbally. physically and emotionally abused by my mother and sexually by my father. i was a good child who was well behaived. i had my head beat into cement walls. had my head beat with hammers. i never had my *** whooped for being disprectful. i never talked back and obeyed my parents. i was a victim of child abuse. so i refuse to whoop my daughters *** even though she needs it. she is rude and disprectful to me and down right mean to me and refuses to listen. she has control of this home.... but i fear if i whoop her once i will not be able to stop and it will lead to further abuse...do you think one whooping would help the child stop. he will be your step son.....if you have been dating on and off for four years. and this child is a problem, then call of the marriage. serriously. your life will only be misserable.