Girls- Does it bother you when your man looks at Playboy or Maxim? Or anything like that...?
Does it make you feel not good enough? Do you compare yourself to those girls?
Guys- Do you think your girls are over-reatcing when they get upset about you doing so? Most of all, even though you look at girls in those magazines, do you still appreciate your girlfriend and love her?
I'm a gorgeous girl (seriously), and my boyfriend looks at those magazines. It frustrates me because I compare myself to those girls, and it makes me feel not good enough. I mean, he's very nice and not a porn addict or anything, but i still don't like it. I look at it like this- when i leave and he cries (which i know he will), then he'll appreciate what he has. Is that terrible of me?
2006-09-13 06:02:30 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maxim has good reading, besides, my fiancé is way hotter than all those girls, so it means nothing, its just a magazine.
2006-09-13 06:05:14 · answer #1 · answered by Ai 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, that's not terrible of you. Though as a member of the female persuasion, I'm biased. Whenever I'd catch my boyfriend (he ended up marrying me, so he's my husband now) reading that stuff or watching videos of that nature, I'd fly into a rage, rip up the magazines, pull the tape out of the video and burn it. It hurt my feelings horribly that he'd do that! It was like he was cheating on me. And, yes, it did make me feel not good enough and I would start comparing myself to those women, even though they're not real. (Most of those images are edited and/or the women have had extensive plastic surgery. If you took away the editing and reversed their plastic surgery, they'd look like everyone else.)
To be fair, though, I must point out that there is a valid reason that guys feel the need to look at these things. The brain of a man is different from the brain of a woman. The part of a man's brain that thinks of sex is larger than the same part of a woman's brain. (Women have a better capacity for communication, though.) It's how we've all had to develop to survive. In ancient times, when infant mortality was very high, if men didn't have the desire for sex constantly, not enough children were going to be born and humans would have become extinct. Granted, it's not that way anymore. But those primeval aspects remain, for better or worse.
2006-09-13 06:20:31 · answer #2 · answered by Avie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't bother me at all- I've never read Playboy, but I love reading Maxim. Have you ever read it? It's hilarious! There really are alot of funny articles in it. The way that I look at it is, there are plenty of beautiful girls walking around in the world every day, my boyfriend most likely will NEVER meet the girls in the magazines. And if he did? I would actually think it's really cool (obviously as long as he didn't do anything, which he wouldn't because I really trust him).
Not to be harsh, but you sound insecure. You said yourself you are a gorgeous girl, and if that's the case, you have nothing to worry about! Trust me, your boyfriend is with you for a reason, but no guy likes a woman who is constantly jealous and worried about him looking at other woman.
Like I said, there are plenty of beautiful women walking around everyday. You notice when there's a good looking guy, right? It's human nature to notice beauty. It doesn't mean that you're boyfriend is going to stray.
Good luck, don't worry, and focus on showing your boyfriend what he has at home!
2006-09-13 06:12:33 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs.H 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've never had a problem with it, in fact at times it has been good for my sex life to have my man look at those magazines! Those girls are completely out of a fantasy and your guy will never have a chance in hell of meeting them. Men are so easily stimulated by the visual. Most men are not so stupid as to think these girls are naturally so drop-dead hot! They are just looking. What's the harm? On the other hand if you carry on and get upset about something he sees as harmless, he may think you are too insecure or needy and run for the exit! Are you actually considering leaving him over this?
2006-09-13 06:13:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Guy will always check out other chicks ... I don't get upset if my wife say she finds a man attractive ... She doesn't get bent out of shape when I look at another woman . Most of the time she'll make a comment about the things she noticed about her and we will both laugh ... Lets face it , it is human nature to look at what we find attractive . You need to be a little more secure with yourself and see that what he is doing is not a big deal at all . Or you can give him a taste of his own medicine and see how he feels . But all in all I don't think it is a big deal .
2006-09-13 06:09:40 · answer #5 · answered by Bobbo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep - my b/f has pix on his computer of Jenna somebody & other really sexily posed women with huge hooters & their butts hanging out of thongs - he keeps them as screensavers & something different is up every day. Yes, I feel inadequate compared to them, I feel like he looks at that because that's what he really wants so why is he with me? cos he knows none of those women would ever want him so he settled for me? I won't ever look like that - not even at my very best!! lol - & they've been airbrushed, edited, digitally improved, etc - no "real" woman looks like that, so I feel "not good enough". I hate it, but haven't said anything about it because I don't wish to sound jealous, petty, insecure, scared - when I'm all of the above. Sad, isn't it? I'm not a porn star, or a wrestling ring girl, etc - just a real woman & I'm
the one who does the things he asks for to make him feel good, but am I the one he sees when he's got his eyes closed? I have to wonder & it sux. Since we've become involved, I feel like he could take the pix off of his computer, or put them in a file & not use them as daily screensavers - out of respect for me. But he hasn't . . .
2006-09-13 06:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter how beautiful you are. Men are very visual. They like to look, compare and fantasize about other women. Also, you have a very low self-esteem about yourself if this bothers you as much as it does. Don't give up on a good guy just because your so insecure about his looking at playboy or maxim. There are worst things he could be doing.
2006-09-13 06:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If my boyfriend does, I don't think anything of it, because I'll look at them too. Once I look at them, I figure out, there is a GOOD reason he's with me and not trying to get with women like that. I don't compare myself to anyone because every female is different, but still beautiful. I'm confident enough in myself to no care if he looks at other women. Plus, I do my own type of modeling, so he gets to deal with other guys drooling over me. Haha.
2006-09-13 06:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by 4eyed zombie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do that. It's just a magazine. If you really want his attention, tell him to come over and have your own little private photo shoot. Get your most sexiest outfits and have him take pictures. Look at his magazines and see how the girls are posing. After that he will want to look at your photos (somebody he truly loves) instead of those other women. Good Luck.
2006-09-13 06:05:44 · answer #9 · answered by elementsoflife06 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
guys look, if they say that they don't, they are lying to you. It upsets me a little bit that my boyfriend looks at magazines, and then when he goes to the strippers, but as long as he doesn't touch, its fine. Honestly I sometimes look and flirt with other guys, so I don't feel that I have a right to get mad at him. As long as he does look at me, when I want it, and he shows me that I am way more important that some model/sex symbol in different ways....I don't care if he fantasizes, cause I know all guys do. It would be different if we were married though, and I prefer to know when he goes to the strippers and what he looks at with the porn, pics/video....it turns him on when we talk about it, and I think that it makes our relationship more honest and open. Don't get too upset, about it, but if it does hurt you, talk to him about it, and ask why he looks at magazines all the time, and explain how it makes you feel. If you are more honest and open, hopefully he will be too....the whole idea of a relationship is compromise, so talk it out, don't threaten to leave him, cause that'll hurt him and make him always wonder if you are thinking of leaving causing your relationship to be unstable. Just talk with him.
2006-09-13 06:09:47 · answer #10 · answered by Hannah 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
okay first off i think playboy personally has lead to some great stuff many many sci fi authors have gotten a start in that mag plus you get news and interviews from celebs and such that actually ask some interesting questions. maxim used to be just filled with cool stuff and advice and articles now its mostly ads so really dont care about that mag anymore. but those girls are unattainable and every guy knows it. but i can look at different than i have i guess would be the way to look at it. and no you never compare you girl to that picture as i can touch my girl and that makes 100% difference
2006-09-13 06:07:53 · answer #11 · answered by gsschulte 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋