How old is too old to spank?
Does anyone else out there feel like crap after spanking your kid?
2006-09-13 05:43:34 · 31 answers · asked by Chargers Chick 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I am not going to be having kids but I have felt like beating the crap out of some kids that I see.
2006-09-13 05:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by Scully 6 · 1⤊ 5⤋
I spank my 3 year old son when he needs it. No, I don't feel like crap because I know there was a good reason for it. He is always warned at least 1 time before he gets spanked. Time-outs do not work with him at all. I do take toys away. But, spanking is a good form of discipline when used correctly. I will never do it in anger. I was spanked as a child and I grew up fine. I think after the age of 15 they are too old to be spanked. Sadly in this day and age, parents don't spank any more ( it is not against the law in any state to spank) and that is why we are having so much trouble with kids these days.
2006-09-13 05:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I know that I will not object to spanking my son. I won't abuse that, but at times a child needs a good swat on the rear. I'd say spanking comes into the picture around 2 or 3 years of age and could probably stop around 9 or 10 when you can use grounding more effectively. I will feel bad for spanking my son, but when the child needs to be diciplined it doesn't matter how bad I feel because it needs to be done. Spanking isn't the only answer for dicipline, but it is a punishment that I believe should be used properly, not abusivly.
2006-09-13 07:45:21 · answer #3 · answered by d4cav_dragoons_wife84 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that there is an age limit to spanking ... in fact, there are some adults out there who could benefit from a good old fashion over the knee spanking!! But yes, after giving a spanking, I don't feel great ... in fact, after any punishment I give, I don't feel great. If I ground one of my children, or give extra chores ... whatever the punishment is, I don't feel good about it ... spanking is in the same category. I feel sorry for the one being punished, but if they are not punished, sometimes they just don't get it ... you know? It's like you talk and talk, and it goes in one ear and out the other ... but when punishment is mentionned, well, all of the attention is mine now! LOL!!
If it's any consolation, most of my kids are teenagers now, and they have admitted that spanking has helped them, and was the most effective punishment out of all of the punishments they have received. All of these stories out here about spanking causing children to be angry, or hitting other kids ... I have absolutely no evidence of this ... my parents were spanked, I was also, and my kids are, and none of us hit other people or are angry people. Perhaps this is because the spanker was not angry when he/she gave the spanking. Kids are smarter than these researchers give them credit for, and they know that they can avoid a consequence by doing right, and they know exactly why they are being spanked when it happens (whether the parent is decent or not), and they adjust accordingly.
I read a comment from someone who said their daughter would rather be spanked than grounded ... having never been spanked, I can see why that would be said!! Not one of my kids would say such a thing, nor would have I!! Sure ground me for 2 weeks!! Yes!! I will learn my lesson from that!! LOL!! When a person gets spanked, it seems like it lasts forever!! Sometimes it would seem like I aged about 3 years being over one of my parents knees!! And oh boy ... let someone at school find out that I was spanked!! Spanked instead of grounded? Hmm, not so sure about that.
2006-09-14 08:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well I was spanked as a child, & i feel it did nothing for me. When I became a parent I decided not to spank my kids. I have a 7 year old and a 6 month old baby. I have never spanked my girls. When my first born was a baby I would just pat her hand to tell her "no no"! That is about it. My sister spanks her kids, once her daughter turned about 8 she stopped! She felt that was too old. All parents are different. I would say once your child is old enough to get punished and get his/her privledges taken away then that should be their punishment, and the spanking should stop! Good Luck!
2006-09-13 06:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by Jm 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I havn't spanked my son; he's only 17 mo. In Cananda (where I live), it's atually illegal to spank a child under 2 years of age. When he turns two, I'm not planning on spanking him. There are other ways to diciplie that I am more comfortable with and aleready using with him such as distraction and redirection and logical consequences.
I would say 10-12 is probably too old to spank; definately by the teen years. If I were to ever spank my child, yes I'd feel like crap.
2006-09-13 05:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by doxhaelend 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow this is timely. I believe in spanking. In fact I use it a lot. The main reason is that I think it is effective. But also unlike all other punishments it is fairer for everyone--the punishment is over and the air can be cleared--it does not drag out like time outs, grounding--which especially with younger kids the whole point of the punishment is lost in the midst of being punished.
That said I had to paddle two of mine yesterday. And though they really deseved it I felt like crap. In some ways it really is true "this is going to hurt me more than you."
OH--and I don't think there should be any particular age limit on spanking. It depends on you and your child. I was even paddled a few times in my teen years. To suddenly say I am no longer going to spank--is just throwing away a tool that has been useful. The best way--is that it just gradually disappears.
2006-09-13 09:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Kids are never too old to get a swat to bring them down a peg or two when they want to get smart off at the mouth. However, I'd imagine spanking loses effectiveness after about age 10. I have NEVER felt like "crap" after spanking my son, because he needs to understand I am not playing games when I am correcting him for bad behavior. Spanking is rarely used in my home, because the things my son was spanked for, he tends not to repeat. While "time out Timmy" is still screwing up just hours after his 6 minute time out.
Mom2bingo...gentler, RESPECT? How the hell are they supposed to learn the concept of respect if they continually disrespect YOU, the parent, and you co-sign off on that behavior and just be like "No, darling. That's bad, okay?" Gentle? Spankings aren't violent. You are confusing BEATING with spanking, and sorry if you were beaten as a kid...there is a BIG difference. Furthermore, this world is anything but gentle, and kids won't be coddled into acting right in society. Good luck raising some punks. I hope you got a lot of money for bail.
2006-09-13 06:17:28 · answer #8 · answered by Goddess of Nuts PBUH 4 · 5⤊ 3⤋
No, never had to. My kids are really well behaved. The most I have to do is time out.
Too old to spank? I don't think it is really appropriate at any age because it teaches that hitting is a solution.
I never feel like crap after I implement time out because I know my kids are growing up well rounded without physical force. If I did spank I think I would always wonder if I could have handled it better.
2006-09-14 17:34:43 · answer #9 · answered by wendysorangeblossoms 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I suppose it depends on your definition of "spanking". My fathers definition was telling us to go to our room, line up (my oldest brother first, then my other brother who is one year older, then me the youngest...) he would go to his bed room, get his biggest belt. Come into the room, bend us over his knee one at a time and make each other watch the others getting spanked until he was through with all of us. That was my fathers idea of spanking.
Not quite my idea... I would never do something like that to my daughter. That's extreme in my opinion. A quick tap on the butt really isn't going to be as harmful as the spankings I recieved. I don't ever *want* to spank my child, but... I am not sure how I will react in certain situations. I will of course feel bad, but it would never be anything that actually stings. Probably just something that is more of a "shock" that mom actually tapped my butt than something that stings.
2006-09-13 06:08:40 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
My dad used to spank me. I even got the belt sometimes! The thing is, everyone hears 'spank' and assumes we're talking about child abuse. There's a difference between spanking and beating. I think spanking is ok...I mean, it's what's going to work fastest and get you results and you're not injuring your child..it's just a quick "pow!" to make them think 'holy crap...i'm not going to do that again!'....I think spanking is fine and I would do it if I had a kid. Obviously only if it were necessary...I'm not saying spank for everything. My boyfriend has a 4 year old daughter and she gets *so* out of line sometimes and all she gets is 'why are you yelling?' 'you're not being a good girl!' 'do you want me to shut off the tv?!' ....yeah...this is usually when I'm thinking to myself, 'man if I were her mother I would've smacked her butt and put her in her room by now'.
2006-09-13 05:56:15 · answer #11 · answered by Swaygirl27 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋