How can I get my 7 year old to focus in school?

Question

I need to get my son to focus on what the teacher needs him to do and not everything else. The other day he was glueing is crayons together insted of doing his work. Yesterday he was running around the room and chasing the kids. Please help. Do not be mean and tell me I need to drug him. He is not hyper, just would rather be doing other things.

I have talked to his teacher many times. Neither one of us feels he is doing this for attention. He says he is bored and just wanted to do it. I am trying to get across to him that he has to do what he is told and do the work. How can I get the focus on the schoolwork and not on everything else he could be doing?

Taking things away does not work. We have tried grounding him to his room when he gets introuble at school and that does not seem to help either. I need something that is different.

We do believe in spanking and have done that as well. Nothing seems to be working with him. I am not one to homeschoold either. I have to work.

He is very bright and does know the work. I really believe he is not chanllenged enough and does not think he should have to do the work. What can I do to get him to focus so they will believe me when I tell the school that he is bored and needs to be challenged with more?

Our family consits of a mom and dad that are married and have been for many years. We both come from highly educated families with many teachers and deans in it. We do watch the occasional tv at night, but only as a family and I do not allow any video games of any kind in my house. He is not sitting around at night watching tv and playing video games. We do things as a family and homework is done as soon as we get home and, yes, I do help him with it. I do not think my son is the most brillant child out there. I do think he may be smarter than what the work they are giving him is showing. If all you want to do is bad mouth me as a bad mother, do not answer this question. Thanks for all your help.

A lot of you are telling me to fill his day and life with education. He knows what he is learing. That is not the problem. The teacher can ask him any qeustion about what they are doing and he knows the answer. We do not have a problem with the home work either. He can sit and do that quickly and get it all right. It is the focus at school in the class room that is the problem.

Dylan is a straigh A student and always has been. He does not put much effort into it either.

We just got the mid term grades on Friday. He is carrying all A's.

Answer 1

he doesn't have to be hyper--just have difficulty concentrating--what does the teacher suggest?

Answer 2

I agree, don't medicate. Kids do get bored if not stimulated and find ways to fill their time.

Has the teacher tried having him help her do things when he has been attentive/good? Both of you need to reinforce his completing his work, corrrectly and in a timely manner.

Try this type of reinforcement system where he can only earn, not lose, priviledges. Take a piece of paper and show the weekdays, with each day cut in half. Have her give him a smile face or star at the end of each morning and before he goes home IF he has been attentive. He brings home the "calendar" every Friday.

If he has 50% (or set it higher) at the end of the week, she will praise him and send home a very special note at the bottom of the paper where she is telling YOU how well he did and at the same time reinforcing him. When he gets home you give him something special from a list you and your son made.

The reinforcers don't have to be expensive, but special, like staying up 15 minutes later, deciding what to have for desert, reading a special story to him, new colors, etc.

Expect that if he had a "bad" week he might "lose" the paper on the way home. Even if he did not earn the reinforcers, praise him for bringing home the paper and any progress he made. Look you earned the smiley face all three mornings

Then every week (or every other) you add 5% to the requirements for the reinforcer until he has reach 95% for a whole month, that is four weeks in a row.. Never expect him to reach 100% because he is a kid and human. At that point he should be more receptive to verbal reinforcers than "items."

You will know when it is time to phase out the reinforcers.

And, if you feel your son is too advanced for his current grade, ask for testing or something to evaluate his ability beyond his current inability to stay on task.

Answer 3

It sounds like you've got a full life at home, you've got a stable home environment. It is possible that he isn't challenged enough in the classroom. There isn't anything you can do to help him focus in school other than make sure that he has a solid, consistent bedtime rountine and a great diet. By that I mean that he goes to bed at the same time every night and doesn't have sugar say past a certain time (whatever you deam fit). By a great diet - well, you probably know what I mean by that - you sound like you've got that under control.

Now don't feel discouraged - those two things - stability and diet will help alot! The other thing you can do is to be consistent if he gets in trouble for not focusing on his tasks when he is supposed to. He is 7 years old and glueing crayons together ... heck, sounds fun to me! 7 year old boy - sure he isn't supposed to, but glue, crayons = together. Maybe he was making something out of it. Be firm when these things happen and remind him that when incidents happen at school that there will be consequences for behavior at home as well as at school - no excuses. (You decide the consequence.)

Someone else mentioned talking to the teacher about "taking" your son to the Student Study Team .... if you still feel that your son isn't being challenged and that the teacher isn't ammending lessons to challenge him a little more you might talk to the school counselor about taking his name to a SST meeting. All this does is to start the ball rolling. A member of the team comes to look at his behavior in the classroom - they give ideas to the teacher to see how to best help him in the classroom, with focusing if that is the problem, if it is a talented and gifted situation because he isn't challenged enough he might be put on a plan for that - or even an ADHD problem (no drugs necessary ;)) ..... but if the ideas work for the teacher and the problem is fixed the the SST meetings have done their work.

Hope this helps. :)

Answer 4

I really don't think I can say much more than anyone else on here has. While it is true that too many kids are labeled "ADD/ADHD" and put on Ritalin, Adderal, Straterra, etc, we as parents still need to rule out whether or not this is an organic problem or not. My son was diagnosed at 7 years with ADD, he was put on Ritalin. It helped for a while but there were side effects which were not good (nightmares, anorexia). It wasn't until he was 9 that they diagnosed him as Bipolar. There are many similar symptoms between the two disorders, but only a professional can make that diagnosis.

School should have him tested to see if he is indeed gifted or not. As a parent you need to be an advocate for our child when it comes to school. There are many programs that schools offer for children with "special needs". It doesn't mean there is something wrong with your child, just that he or she needs to be taught in a different fashion.

There is a wonderful product (vitamin) that helps with focus. Both my husband and son take this. It is called BECALM'D, and is made by a company called NEUROGENISIS. This product really works!! I wouldn't spend the $38.00 a bottle if it didn't. Try it, you have nothing to lose, and also get with your school officials for some testing of your child. Do not be ashamed to admit that your child may have some type of problem.

Our children do not ask to be brought into this world, nor do they come with instructions. It is our responsibility to see that they get the help they need every step of the way.

Answer 5

If I were you I'd start to look into maybe getting an evaluation of sorts to determine if he has ADD. There's a possibility that he could, so that's why I suggested that you get some tests done to try to evaluate what his problem is. Chances are that he may very well not be challenged enough. Then again, maybe you should have him tested to see if he qualifies as a gifted student. If he is a gifted student, then he might very well be able to skip a grade(depending on how challenging the work in a grade might be for a 7 year old) I would think that he does show signs of having ADHD also, but then again, since you say that he isn't hyper that's why we have evaluations and testing for these things. If he indeed does have either ADD or ADHD, then you might have to drug him. I was only 12 when I was diagnosed with having ADD, and I've been on medication for it ever since. I take Adderall for mine, and let me tell you that stuff doesn't work too well, I've had to take it 2 times a day because halfway through the school day I would not focus.

I'm not being mean or anything like that, but if it shows that he does have ADD from the evaluations he gets, the he might be put on a medication whether you like it or not(although I have heard of alternative remedies to help with this problem, whether or not they actually work I'll never know.

I think that maybe you should start doing some research on the possibilities as to why he might not focus before choosing to do something about it. If he has ADD, it doesn't mean he's stupid AT ALL, he'll still be his normal self even when he takes the medication(if he does have ADD); he was probably born that way and it takes a while for some symptoms of the disorder to show.

All in all, you owe it to both yourself and your child to get him a CST evaluation and maybe even some further testing to see if he could have ADD. Just because you may not have a family history of the disorder doesn't mean that he's immune to having it. It could very well be a recessive gene in the family. By getting to the bottom of this problem once and for all, and it could very well mean that he could see his pediatrician for recommendations he/she might have for a good specialist who tests kids for disorders and you could get referred, it will be worth the frustration that could come with this.

I'm sorry that you're going through this, your child sounds like he means well, but he just can't seem to focus. It's no one's fault though because once again, he was probably born that way. I hope this gets solved so you'll never have to go through this again. Good luck.

Answer 6

I used to have a problem with focusing in school, i would do origami and ther things instead of my classwork, but i also knew all of the content. A common problem is that the child just isn't being challenged. Getting the same "2+2" worksheets day in and out gets boring for a young mind that needs to be constantly engaged. If more dificult classes are an option, you might want to look into that. (Although my problem went on until i did self-study and could work at my own pace, which was a lot faster than most of my classmates, which explains the boredom). Even trying a different teacher could fix, or at least help the problem. Different teaching methods and personalities work better for different kids.
Or maybe you should try having him see a professional, he may actually have a chemical imbalance, or there may be a reason he doesnt understand that his behavior is unacceptable. It may not be ADD, maybe hes obsessive-compulsive or something (They do strange things compulsvely- like glue crayons together, theyre not just neat freaks) If nothing else, you could get tips fpr yourself and his teachers on how to correct his behavior. (I was bored AND Borderline, so this comes from personal experience)
Hope that helps!
Ps. Im about to be a mom, and I hope she's nothing like me in school!! :)

Answer 7

He may need some extra attention on his school assignments from you,mom!. Sometimes school work can become boring,after a long summer vacation,and he just needs to get back into the "swing of things". I'm sure a lot of kids are going through this stage. As far as him doing "other things",tell him that summer vacation is over,and now he has the chance to prove to himself,and his teacher,that he is smarter this year,then he was last year. Stop by his class,to see what his curriculum is. Ask his teacher not to punish him about the crayons,but for the both of you to find out why he'd rather play in class,instead of doing the work. Reassure him (mom),that he will not be punished,for telling the truth. His fellings need to come out. Then try putting a little play time with his homework,by making a learning "game" out of it. As he grows older,he will not need to play the game anymore,but he will then understand how important his school work is to him. (Good Luck)

Answer 8

Well, your story sounds familiar...perhaps because not to long ago I was put in the same position. I can sit here and tell you I'm a expert, but I'm not, I'm learning knew things about parenting everyday. However, if your interested I can tell you a few things I tried and it actually made a difference. First, I was not sure if the school was challenging him enough, so I bought some educational materials to use at home. I'm not sure if you heard of Berkley's school supplies, if not I'm positive that you'll be able to find it on-line or even find other places like this one. Teachers actually shop at this store for their classroom supplies.Trust me I know it might sound crazy, but think of it this way, just a little time spent in the evening working with your child goes a long way.
Fun learning activities such as, word games, math puzzles and even board games was a hit as well at my house. The key is , you want to show your child a way to enjoy himself and educate his self at the same time. Maybe, you can reward him with a little something when he has a good day that might encourage him to keep up the good work.

P.S. - I'm not sure if I was helpful but, periodically I'll check to see if you have any luck...have faith.

Answer 9

Does he like reading books? If the teacher will allow him to read or do another favorite activity after he's done his work, it will help him concentrate. That carrot is something some kids need.

Another thing you might try is changing his diet. DO NOT give him sugared cereals for breakfast. Some kind of meat, even a hot dog, and a piece of toast is actually better for him. No sugar highs or lows. Fruit makes a far better midmorning snack than junk food because again no sugar high. It stays with him longer, too.

Have you ever felt lethargic and hungry halfway through your morning? If you look back at what you had for breakfast, you can probably see why. Carbs wear off fast and leave you sleepy. Protein stays with you.

Answer 10

I had similar problems with my oldest daughter when she was that age (well, actually from first grade on). If she was interested in what was being taught, she would soak it up like a sponge. Otherwise...well another story altogether. However, she never got in trouble for behavior problems. I've heard it is harder with boys, but maybe you just need to work on good manners. After all, it's not fair to the other students when he is disruptive.

I really wouldn't worry about his grades at this point, as long as he's not in danger of failing the grade. Ten years later, my daughter is a senior in high school. She had to take algebra over in summer school one year. She still pretty much only learns what she chooses to, but is learning a trade (cosmetology) and she loves it. She is looking forward to starting her career. Of course, as her mother, and know how bright she can be, I'd like to say she has plans for college. Only because I want the best for her. I am so very proud of her!

You just have to keep in mind that not everybody needs to be a college graduate. Maybe your son will never make a six figure salary, but it's more important that he's happy and that you let him know you're proud of him.

Answer 11

It sounds like he is bored. He already knows what the other kids are learning. He has no purpose. You need to give him one. Start teaching him about the importance of doing simple things well. It's not the people with the highest IQ's that do best in life, it's people who do the simple things that need to be done well and correctly every time. This reminds me of the line from The Last Samurai (Tom Cruise starred in a re-make a couple years back) where an American is captured by Samurai and he ends up living with them and learning from them. He says that everyday, these people get up do everything very focused and very well. (Not in those exact words, but...) (and today, the Japanese continue to do very well by focusing on things like this, but this isn't about economics or society...)
He needs to see concrete results of this idea in action. It can start as simple as getting a jar and having him put a coin in it every day. After a while he will see that the jar is filling up because he puts the coin in it every day. You can move on to more exciting things like building a large castle out of big blocks or a set. It shouldn't take to long to complete but each piece should be spread out, like one piece per day and he should put the piece on. Then you should try moving on to a similar project but the action that he does each day should require a little skill and concentration. Not difficult, just a moment's focus to show him that just a moment of concentration each day can build great things (like a life) over time. This will help him learn to focus when he needs to and know when it's time to play. Note the main issue here is NOT knowledge as emphasized in school, but teaching the proper balance of when to focus and when to relax and play. Right now he has no idea of why he should focus. He will be getting a huge advantage in life since they don't teach this in school and most kids are so busy learning bits and pieces of knowledge they never learn about how and when to use themselves.
If he resists this and refuses to do it there may be some other underlying issues but I hope this helps.