My husband gained sole custody of his 3 children from a previous marriage. He is in the military and recently got orders to move us to Japan, In April. Is there anything that protects military members in custody disputes to keep their children, if a move was not mentioned in the child custody action. The judge is well aware that my husband is in the military and a move was going to happen eventually. And when should we tell the mother? Please keep in mind we are dealing with someone who gave up her children for a man and has never had her children's best interest in her mind. Please do not tell me to go to the JAG office, they do not deal with civil matters such as divorce. Any ideas on how to keep my family together? Please know I am not trying to keep the children from their mother either, they just belong with us, so they are not in danger or abused. Has anyone else gone though this or know someone who has, what was the outcome.
2006-09-13 05:05:37 · 10 answers · asked by Dylansmom 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
If he has sole custody, then there isn't an issue. She has no say in the matter at all. All you have to do is tell you're PCSing. However, if they have joint custody, that's another story. You'll have to contact your lawyer and discuss the issue with him. He'll have to get in contact with the judge and make sure he was clear of this status when he made the decision. Then her and her lawyer will be notified. Also, JAG can and will help. They just don't get involved in any court action. However, they do consult and head you in the right direction.
I wouldn't worry too much though. Your first line says he has SOLE custody. Read his divorce decree and the custody agreement. Make sure he has full rights. If so, then there's no worries.
2006-09-13 07:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by HEartstrinGs 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, let me get this straight. Your husband's ex-wife now wants custody, because the husband is leaving the states? Has she filed a Petition for Custody or is she just threatening? Does she currently reside in the same state where the orignal divorce occurred?
If she has filed a Petition I would retain a private attorney. If she is just yelling about filing for custody, will that's just words.
I will tell you this, if she does actually file papers, she could have a very strong argument. You and your husband need a counter-argument. (i.e. we will give her visitation and fly the kids back on "this date" to be with her until "this date", the father has had custody of the kids for such amount of time....etc.)
Further, depending on the children's ages the Judge may want to know how they feel about going to Japan. Please talk with them and see how they truly feel. Don't get caught off guard with that one!
Also, see if your husband can have his orders changed stateside, because he has custody. You never know, I have seen military men get out of more for less reasons.
Worse case scenario, maybe you will be willing to stay state side, care for the children and do visitation with the husband. I know it sounds difficult, but it won't be forever.
Whatever, you decide to do ....
Good Luck and Take Care
2006-09-13 12:28:40 · answer #2 · answered by escapingmars 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact an on base family advocacy volunteer. They have resources that may include lawyers who might offer free legal advice. Keep JAG aware of what is going on by having court documents placed in his personnell file on base. Also with sole custody, the mother doesn't have say where the child goes and doesnt go. Just make sure that state laws allow travel and that they don't stipulate like nevada where if one parent leaves the state the other parent can press kidnapping charges. you could go as far as having a lapse of brain function and "forget" to tell her until after the move, but then who knows what might happen, and where if who would be helping her. Good Luck and best to you and yours.
2006-09-13 12:12:40 · answer #3 · answered by mjustice2049 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming the move is in April of 2007, I would go head and let the mother know, so if need be she can prepare herself for the move. As far as letting the court system know, i doubt they will give custody back to the mother because your husband got stationed elsewhere. My dad is a retired marine and he got custody of me and my brother over my mother...as far as i remember he just let his attorney know that we would be moving, not once did he or my mother have to dispute whether we stayed in the country. If he (your husband) has sole custody, the children go where you all go. I hope this helped :)
2006-09-13 12:15:03 · answer #4 · answered by Advice Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The judge knew the father was military so I would tell the mother. What can she say, if she wants to spend all of her money fighting the custody battle again, let her go for it. You may be worrying over nothing. Tell her you are going, assure her that email and letters will be encouraged. Send photo's etc...etc........this may save you thousands in a custody battle.
2006-09-13 12:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Civil law applies, Doesn't matter whether you work for G.E. or the military, a job related transfer is always possible. If there are no specific restrictions under visitation then the problem is his ex-wife's, not yours. She always has the right to take him back to court for any number of reasons. The military has to honor whatever a civil court has ruled.
2006-09-13 12:50:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
TELL The Mother Now -- better NOW than when the move occurs. YOUR Husband needs to get a CIVILIAN Attorney to sort out the Custody issue -- and get the JUDGE to order the Mother to sign the PASSPORT Applications and other paperwork for entry overseas -- It takes 6-8 weeks to process, and the longer your HUSBAND Waits -- the longer you will have to wait.
THIS IS HIS ISSUE -- and NOT yours. The Judge needs to have the Civilian Attorney to TELL him the Situation, EXPLAIN the Passport Requirements, and get the SIGNATURE on the Passport Applications -- and if he TRULY has SOLE CUSTODY -- then the JUDGE can SIGN the Passport Applications HIMSELF when the Mother REFUSES.
2006-09-13 12:42:47 · answer #7 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There are so many unanswerd questions. i will not ask them, it is not my buisness. I hope someone can relate, but if not I suggest going to a lawyer or the Social worker if one was assigned to the custody case.
Other than that, drive on. His ex gave full custody to him, which means he can go. Partial custody is another issue...
Good Luck, You'll love Japan
2006-09-13 12:14:41 · answer #8 · answered by Q-burt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just notifiy the court, today. Get them to issue a writ giving you permission to remove the kids from that jurisdiction. Your lawyer should also notify the mom, but from what you say she probably doesn't care anyway.
Good luck and enjoy Japan. I went for 2 yrs and stayed 4. Expensive, but great station.
2006-09-13 12:24:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Legally you have to give the mother 30 days notice of leaving and that's it. Then it's up to her to go to court and try and stop him from leaving or taking the kids. If she honestly doesn't care for the kids, then she won't care if he takes them or not.
2006-09-13 14:24:02 · answer #10 · answered by korr1121 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋