my mom told me this... but then she doesn't believe in living together. Is she trying to control me or this true?
2006-09-13 04:37:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
possibliy
2006-09-13 08:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly, your mother is more interested in trying to control you than in actually giving you any useful advice. She appears to think, and she would like you to think, that living together is ONLY about the sex. Now, it is true that there are some guys out there for whom, "once the milk is free, the cow need not be bought."
However, we live in a complicated world. And marriage is not only a big step in terms of commitment, it is a huge step legally and financially, and well, pretty much every other way too. If two people love each other and want to explore life together before getting involved in all the red tape that marriage represents, then I can only say, Good for them!
If you are legally old enough to leave home and live with someone, then you can do what you want and no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Follow your heart. If you are certain that your boyfriend loves you as much as you love him, and if you are certain that you can trust him, then perhaps you should try living together.
HOWEVER, unless or until you marry, you should try to utmost of your ability TO NOT GET PREGNANT. Marriage, because it is a legally binding contract, protects YOU the woman and any children you produce. In the event that things didn't work out, it would be much easier for you and your children to get what is rightfully yours. However, as long as you don't make babies, then do as you will and harm none. And tell your mom to mind her own business if she has nothing helpful to say.
2006-09-13 12:27:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom is trying to help you.
Ya it is somewhat true. It took a bit to get my husband to commit to marriage after having two kids and living together for a few years. They just get comfortable and feel like they don't need to get married. They have everything they need right at their fingertips. If I did it again I wouldn't live with anyone first, although it is a great way to find out if you really want this person 24/7.
2006-09-13 11:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is extremely true. If you cruise through more of the relationship or dating questions on here, you will see that over and over again. Girls move in with a dude, have a kid or two, do everything for him, then wonder why he won't marry her, or they complain the man is taking her for granted. This gives me such anxiety! Your mom is right - as moms usually are - and I wish more little girls would listen to their moms so they don't pretend to play "grownup" with men and then regret stuff.
2006-09-13 14:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. If you find a guy who is decent, honest, and wants to have a family, living together will not prevent him from marrying you. But if he's the "I'm not sure" type, you might be waiting for this proposal for a long time.
2006-09-13 11:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
haha...sorry...my mom told me the same thing and i thought it was all about control as well....so i went and did it anyway- i lived with a guy for 2 years...he gave me a promise ring to "shut me up" but nothing more then that...and i ended up leaving him for other reasons...and then a year later i moved in with a nother guy i was seeing and that lasted 4 months...he turned out to be a huge looser too! i should have listened to my mother! now i'm seeing someone and we both have our own places...i spend weekends over his place and visaversa...it works out great that way....he told me the other day...that he wishes he could wake up everymorning to me...and i said...maybe someday you'll get that chance...but not untill we're married. I think it may hurry him up into marrying me as well...because when you live with the guy already...it;s that whole why buy the cow if you've got the milk deal...so depends on what you want out of your future. ttyl
2006-09-13 11:44:23 · answer #6 · answered by tigerlily 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage and "living together" are different arrangments. It's up to you to decide if you are comfortable without all the legal rights that Marriage grants you.
2006-09-13 11:43:29 · answer #7 · answered by Joe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You not only lose respect for yourself, but he loses respect for you as well.
Reports show that couples who live together before marriage are MORE likely to get divorced than couples that don't.
Do some research, Mom is right on this one!
Peace!
2006-09-13 11:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may be true for some guys, but certainly not all.
2006-09-13 11:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by musiclover 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋