I'm 36 yrs old never been married. I met the most wonderful woman in my life. She is everything I could ask for and more. She's 35 yrs and has two kids. A boy age 7, and a girl age 9. I have only met her son but he's a great kid. Here is the problem. She is currently married. Still lives with her soon to be Ex husband. He knows its over between them they are working on the divorce. He does not know about me! I have fallen in love with her. We have only been seeing each other for 3 weeks but I know I love her. I have never felt like this before and I'm 36 years old. I know this is special. Heres the problem. Right now she just sees us as GOOD FRIENDS. I know she has a lot going on right now. I hope she fees something for me. I'm not sure if she feels like she could ever love me. I am ready for her and the kids to move in with me. I would love them and provide completely for them. I told her how I feel. How hard should I push for her to see I want to be a couple?
2006-09-13 04:02:00 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow .. I think you are taken this a little to fast. Its not that easy for a soon to be single mom with two kids. I doubt she is ready for a serious relationship right now.. she needs to be more emotionally ready for it, as well things will need to go a lot more slowly. Find some patience, feel free to express you want to pursue a relationship but respect her boundaries. Take it down some please
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-13 04:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At this point, she's giving you everything that she can. As long as there's no question about the divorce actually happening and that relationship being over, you've gotta give her time to get her life back on track before coming on too strong. Honestly, even if she wants to hear this from you, you saying that you are ready to have her and the kdis move in, or spend the rest of your life with her, is going to be one more pretty complicated thing she'll have to deal with right now. If you want this to work, take it slow, and make sure that she knows that you're going to be there for her through the divorce and you're looking forward to a more peaceful time when the relationship can develop. That's going to mean a lot more to her than your professions of endless love right now. Good luck...
2006-09-13 04:23:41 · answer #2 · answered by M K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! I sincerely admire your passion. If this is to be an enduring love, it will wait and so should you. You recognize that she does have many issues right now that do have to take priority over you. The best you can do now is be a friend. Do not push her now. She needs the time and space to make this transition in her life. If you push her so hard and in a moment of exhaustion she gives in to you and it is not the right thing for all of you (kids included) it could ruin your relationship forever.
At 36, you have wisely chosen to wait for the right person, don't blow it by rushing this. Try to see things from her perspective, she is getting divorced after, how long? No matter what the reason for the divorce she will need time to reflect on the failure of her marriage and on who she is, and who she wants to be. Allow her this, don't try to force her into being a couple, when she is still defining herself.
2006-09-13 04:21:09 · answer #3 · answered by bttrswt1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put the brakes on buddy. First she is still legally married and living with her soon to be ex husband. Yeh Okay, first you better be sure that the divorce is really in the works. You are there for her now because she needs a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk too. But what about when its over, you really need to slow it down. You say you know she is the one, I think you might be in for a heart break. However, if she gets a divorce then just date her if she is ready, don't pressure her to jump into a relationship with you, give her time. I wish you the best!
2006-09-13 04:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by GreeneyedCowgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, get a grip. Wake up and smell the coffie. She doesn't want you. She only sees you as friends? duhhhhhhh that's what she means. FRIENDS. If you can't handle that then you need to stay away from her before you end up whinning to her like some love struck fool. " but I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and I can't live without you I LOVE YOUUUUUUU" (sniffle sniffle). The girl is bad news. And if you think shes just staying with her ex without the benefits, guess again. Take off the blinders. That type of woman in that type of situation can be dangerous. Trust me. I've been through a faw. And just remember this, " If you think you've found the perfect woman, she had to have been a pain in the azz to someone somewhere or she wouldn't be with you". Think about it.
2006-09-13 04:12:49 · answer #5 · answered by Justa_Honay_Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt push her, give her time to get over this divorce and give her children time too. This is a very dramatic change for them to go through, like losing a parent. They all need time and if the love is there hey you have waited 36 yrs you can wait a little longer. You dont want to lose them completely so let them come in there time. Just continue to be her friend cause she is gonna need it.
2006-09-13 04:08:33 · answer #6 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. I am going to be totally straight with you....you might be in love with her but she is going to go thru hell and back for quite a while. I recently got divorced and this same sort of thing happened to me. Someone was madly in love with me and b/c I was dealing with a divorce and all this upset, he just made matters worse for me. I loved this guy but b/c I had so much CRAP in the space, I could not appreciate him. No matter how hard he tried with me, I made him wrong for everything b/c I was so angry and hurt inside and I was trying to also mourn the fact that I was going to lose the man I thought was the love of my life. Look, this woman might like you or even love you but the last thing she needs is more pressure. She needs to sort things out for herself and her kids. You might complicate the matters. Be patient and if you truly care about her and the kids, give her all the breathing room she needs. Im telling you, if you dont you will lose out on even a friendship. I myself was so overwhelmed with everything that I couldnt even think straight. If something is meant to be it will happen. A divorce is so traumatic its really like a death and kids make it all the more complicated. You can continue to have feelings for her if thats whats there for you, but dont rush anything like I suggested. Whether she dispises this guy or not, she will become bitter towards you if you rush her. Let her have her time for her and be careful not to do too too much for her. She needs to do some things for herself. You dont want to do too much b/c she will then always expect that of you and that wont be fair to you. Good luck and hang in there. I really know what you are going thru.
2006-09-13 04:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by Uncertainty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already told her how you feel. Leave it at that for now. Give her time. You can't expect her to make that sudden change for herself and especially for her kids. She might need some time to think things over. Her kids need time , a lot of time to know you and feel comfortable with you.
If you really love her, give her space and time. Accept the fact that she might not want a live-in relationship just yet. I don't know if you know this but after a divorce it takes approximately half the time of the marriage to be over and completely done with.
Just be patient, if she is for you and you for her then things will come together slowly but surely. For now just be her friend, support her and her kids. She'll need some time to be able to trust you. Peace.
2006-09-13 04:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by wonderwoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on as she is still married and not divorced. Just because she is telling you she is working on it doesn't mean she is. And she is still married!!
Also, you can not fall in love with someone you have only met 3 weeks ago especially since she is married as that limits the talks, visits, etc . Grow up....just because you are 36 doesn't mean you are mature.........and take life a little more seriously and relationships too.
2006-09-13 04:09:33 · answer #9 · answered by Nana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are smart, take it slow and easy. She is still in the middle of a bad situation. Let her get through this part of her life so that she can decide for herself what she wants to do. Pushing her into a decision right now could back fire. She needs a little time and patience,I would think.
2006-09-13 04:07:30 · answer #10 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋