Laying down the law to the grandparents?

Question

My wife and I decided rather early on in her pregnancy that we wanted our son to have very limited amounts of sugar before the age of three. We've read many articles and watched enough news reports on the subject that tell us that reducing sugar intake until after age three cuts the occurences of diatbetes later in life by as much as 93%.

He's ten months old now and starting table foods. The problem we're encountering is that our parents have chosen to ignore our wishes and have been giving him things like pudding. There's no way for us to know with certainty when they've done this unless they slip up and tell us. So, any suggestions on our next course of action.

Answer 1

You and your wife need to state your wishes again. It is your son not theirs. Tell them that if they want to give him pudding that it be sugar free. Good Luck!

Answer 2

There is sugar free Puddings and jellos! As long as you limit how much he gets that's fine! Depriving a child of Little sugar will also lower his blood sugar which will bring other health issues! if you have read other articles about this you see there are many different opinions on this subject! As long as your child eats a Healthy 3 square meals a day he will be fine! A little pudding or ice cream or jello will not hurt! Avoiding the chocolate is fine and sugar type cereals will also help!! Don't fret look back at your childhood! If you ate alot of sugar stuff and you turned out okay don't fret! You are doing an excellent job as a parent!!

Answer 3

This is really too bad. Grandparents sometimes have a hard time understanding that while it is their job to spoil the kids and have fun, it is not their job to overrule the parents. This is a sticky situation.

Obviously you have sat down and spoken to your parents about this. . . hopefully calmly. If they are still doing it, stop leaving your kids alone with them. Don't ever use your kids as a weapon towards your parents, but when it has to do with a decision that you and your wife have made about their health, you have every right. Here's what's going to be hard. You have a choice in either telling your parents why you're not allowing your kid to be alone with them . . . or you could not tell them unless they ask. You could pick your battles and just do it, start bringing the kid over to say hi and see the grandparents, but just don't leave them there. When the grandparents finally realize what's going on, my guess is that one of them will ask what's going on. Then you tell them very calmly. Not accussing, not hurtful, just as if it's no big deal.

I hope this helped. I haven't been in your situation, but I do have a mother who will try to mother my children. My entire family does it, and I have begun planning on what/how I'll deal with it.

Good luck! :) If there's anyway to, let me know how it turns out.

Answer 4

No offence, but the only reason either of your parents suffered through the raising of children is in the hopes of becoming grandparents. They are doing what grandparents do. You can ask them or tell them what you'd like, but starting a big argument over something so small as this or cutting them out of this child's life, is going to cause more damage than any amount of sugar.

Answer 5

After all this is your child. However you must also state it so. Tell them you don't mind pudding but it has to be sugar free. Pudding is harmless and everything should be done in moderation. It isn't as if they are giving your child a chocolate bar or a sucker. They gave your child pudding. Something they probably though was harmless. Lighten up and remember everything in moderation. Pudding is ok but not a can of soda. Ask yourself if you are being fair here. Unless you have a history of diabetes or obesity you are completely being out of control. If you completely watch your child's diet at home then some pudding at grandma's isn't going to rush your child in diabetes. I say lighten up here.

Answer 6

I know what you are going through. I face this all the time - with food, television and just about everything else. I'm a working mom and my work is stressful. Once, I really lost it and just screamed at them - accumulation of work and home pressure. It made the situation much worse, believe me. Things were strained for a while. It's a bit better now but I don't advise you reach the same stage as me. If it really bothers you, try to talk nicely and patiently with them, if possible. I can only say good luck, no real solution to this.

Answer 7

You can ask them to buy sugar free pudding. Just be firm with them that you don't want your child hopped up on sugar 24/7. My child is horrible with sugar. She gets wild and uncontrolable. My Inlaws stopped giving her sugar when I developed Type II Diabetes last year. I told them to cut back giving it to her because my mother has Type II, I have it, and there is a high chance she may develop it later in life. I'm trying to teach her healthy eating habits now. I rarely give her junk food, if I do, it's sugar free, because that's all we have in the house because of my diabetes.
BUT on the other hand, if you don't want your child having sugar, try cutting out bad carbs and going to whole wheat pastas/breads.

Answer 8

I have struggled with the same issue. My father-in-law equates food with love and wants to give my kids treats whenever he is with them.

I think you should do two things: (1) reiterate your wishes and express how important this issue is to you; and (2) relax a bit and realize that your kid getting sugar occassionally isn't going to doom him to diabetes. (If your parents are with your kid every day and feeding him food you don't want him to eat, that's a different story. It depends on how often we're talking about.)

I know how frustrating this can be. Good luck!

p.s. Sugar-free options are NOT a good idea because they contain artificial sweetners -- worse for a developing child than actual sugar.

Answer 9

I had a similar experience with both sets of grandparents .. but I soon got over it unless your kids are with the grandparents everyday let it slide my kids see their grandparents one a week or everyother week and for that small amount of time the kids get what they want and do what they want but when they are at home with mommy and daddy the other 99 % of the time the regular rules apply ...so you are limiting their sugar still just not that 1% of the time.. grandparents already raised thier kids its thier "play time" now .. its just for fun

Answer 10

I would tell them that if they can't respect your rules in regards to your child, then they can't spend them with him alone.

I know it sounds harsh and they'll probably be upset with it in the beginning, but in the end, they will understand. Make sure to explain why you have these rules in place.

I don't have children yet, but I've told my boyfriend that when we do, this is the way its going to be. My parents totally understand, however, I know we will have problems with my in-laws since I can see that my boyfriend's sister is having problems with her kids in regards to this. The grandparents let the children do this and that, that they are not aloud to do at home. And when they go back home after having spent a few days with grandma and grandpa, they act out like crazy! Everything has to be re-established.

Put your foot down immediately. This is your child, not theirs.