He doesn't bite at home because he knows we don't allow it at home. Please helpp me with suggestions.
2006-09-13 03:51:24 · 20 answers · asked by valeryarbelo 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He has about 6 teeth. 4 of them all at once. Please helpp me with suggestions.
2006-09-13 03:54:07 · update #1
In response to all the people who have told me that my son does not belong in day care instead he belongs with me, I couldn't agree more. To the person who said I shouldn't have children if I couldn't stay with them, I will give you an insight into my life. I was a stay at home mother with my son, until 3 months ago a tragic accident killed my husband, Julians father and i was left with no alternative than to work. I am not asking advice as to whether I shoud have had children or not. I am a great mother, my infant son has a problem with biting and he's teething.
Attention is not the problem. This baby couldn't more attention from me or his daycare, because everyone feels terrible that he doesn't have a dad anymore. When you write nasty comments think about what you are saying first. You don't know the situation and you didn't write the book on life.
2006-09-13 06:44:59 · update #2
bite him. not hard, but hard enough. ask him if he likes it. tell him that every time you hear about it you will bite him, or let the other kids bite him back.
maybe he'll get the idea real quick.
2006-09-13 03:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by keanweaner 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Biting at 11 months is perfectly normal- not acceptable, but normal. It is a natural instinct and generally due to oral motor/teething issues and/or frustration. As you mentioned he has been getting teeth, try to start a system with the daycare of being proactive. At home, he has more one-on-one attention and there isn't anyone around to bite, so it is less likely to happen there. Also, think about what he is usually doing at home- feeding, bathing, dressing, one-to-one play- not much time to bite. Try providing some items that will help prevent need to bite throughout the day- teethers or chewy toys don't always work. My daughter responded better to crunchy food items. She didn't like the teethers, they were boring to her, and she hated the taste of orajel. Not that I am suggesting they let your son munch all day long, but providing a few items (pretzels, cheerios,...) at a few well spaced intervels during the day may work wonders. If he does bite, make sure it is still firmly addressed. It is most likely not a behavior problem now, but could turn into one down the road. A firm "no bite" and removing him from the situation is all you need at this point. He is cognitively to young for long explanations or time out.
Sorry to hear about your husband. I don't want to presume you would like advice on how to help your son with this, but if you do I have a lot of experience in this area. Good luck.
2006-09-17 10:10:09 · answer #2 · answered by teacher/mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
I have 2 boys, a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I can't tell you how to be a parent, but I can tell you what I did when my 3 year old started to bite (when he was around 18 months) I bit him back. At the time when he went through the "biting" phase, he fortunately was not in daycare, so I was around. Later he did have to go to daycare, and he started to bite again, and I consistently talked to him about it. Luckily I had a great provider who was willing to work with me on his punishments. It was a specific child he was biting, and they were not allowed to play together any longer - even though they were very consistent playmates. If all else fails, trust me, other kids will start biting him back. Here's where you have to be very careful - don't cross the line of babying the owie, instead you have to say things like "it doesn't feel very good to be bitten does it?" or "if you don't like it, then you shouldn't bite either!"
If the biting continues - either your child biting, or being bitten, consider changing daycares. Not because the provider is inadequate, but because either the punishments aren't working for your child, or your child is not in a safe place. Be careful to work with the daycare on punishments. What works at home, what do you approve of? That kind of thing. Make sure you're communicating those things!
As for your situation - I am deeply sorry for your loss, and wish you the very best. You are not, nor will you ever be, a bad person for doing what you have to do to take care of your family. So many are so quick to judge.
Best wishes :)
2006-09-13 17:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Lucky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe he is feeling stress about his daycare situation. If your 11 month old is in daycare for long hours at a time he maybe stressed. He is biting because that is the only way he can control his environment. He doesn't need to bite at home because that is where he feels safe. Please give this attention. 11 months old is very young to be away from you. Maybe you need to spend more time with him.
I have to agree he doesn't belong in daycare he belongs with you. Something is causing him stress and you need to see this as a warning sign. Something is going on. Don't ignore this. You shouldn't be concerned that he gets kicked out you should be concerned about his health and safety. Don't let this slide!
Clearly, any possible reason he may be experiencing excess stress should be addressed. In some cases, for example, a child's biting may be a window into the daycare situation where s/he might be witnessing a lot of yelling, physical violence, or punishing.
Observation points us to certain constant negative environmental stimulants associated with biters. A noisy environment, inadequate sleep, lack of structure and routine, lack of boundaries in general, and over-socialization are but a few. While all of these contribute to aggression in children to some extent, the last is most significant. Biters seem to be part of a group that has been prematurely placed in social settings that overwhelm their senses. Clearly, they are over-socialized by being placed in too many group activities. Some toddlers simply cannot handle the stress of "too many children around." Group settings include church nurseries, day-care facilities, and large birthday parties, which may simply overwhelm these children. Biting then becomes a coping skill whenever the child senses encroachment or when his own need is not met.
2006-09-13 13:08:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son has been through a lot. His father died and now his mother is gone (that's how it seems to an 11 month old). Is there a close family member who could watch him while you work? Daycare is stressful at 11 months.
I am NOT judging you. Believe me! Things happen in life that we cannot plan on & our dreams are shattered and we have to do the best we can with what we have. I was supposed to be a stay at home mom. We planned this for years. My daughter was born and 6 months later, my husband leaves cause he's not ready for fatherhood. I haven't received a dime in child support - he quit a very good job and hasn't kept one more than a month since. So, I work full time and my mother keeps my daughter (I pay her just like I would a daycare). It hurts that I have to leave her but it's that or we both starve. Sometimes our situations suck!
Your son may need therapy if you can afford it.
2006-09-16 22:51:22 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is teething he needs to be TAUGHT by YOU that biting is not the answer. It doesn't matter whehter he has a father or not, his behavoir is NOT acceptable period. If he is teething buy him teething rings, medications, etc. And yes you SHOULD be scared they may kick him out of daycare because if he bites hard enough to break skin that is a trip to the emergency room for another parent and child, and that parent will be within their rights to sue you for the cost of the ER visit. A human bite is one of the worst bites there are. If a human bite breaks the skin or causes bleeding it can cause an infection. If you think your child has a problem then take that child to the doctor for evaulation.
2006-09-17 06:10:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
11 months is very young. They probably have more than one biting. My oldest bit but she was around two. I tried everything. I scolded, the corner, and putting something that did not taste good in her mouth. I am sorry to say the only thing that worked was (advice from my mother) was me biting her, not where I broke the skin or she had marks, but where she just felt uncomfortable. I then explained to her that the other children felt just like her. She cried and never bit again. My neighbors were relieved as it had become a major problem with the other children being bit by her. She would leave marks and bruises.
2006-09-13 11:06:51 · answer #7 · answered by Grandmom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please do NOT bite him back. That is child abuse. He has developed a bad habit that gets him attention. I would suggest you talk with the folks at the day care and work out a plan with them. You don't want him biting the other kids (naturally) and he needs to learn to get along. At 11 months, he's learning and testing boundaries and how to be social. Most kids that age don't really play with other kids and they don't know how or understand sharing.
If you can work it out at the day care to have someone keep a special eye on him, notice when he is getting tired or cranking and take him aside or distract him before he gets all bitey. If he does start to bite another child, have him removed and distracted. He shouldn't be bitten or spanked (I assume they don't do that at day care) but rather distracted. Not giving attention to the bad behavior and redirecting ususally works best. Special attention should be paid to good behavior to reinforce that. He'll get over it if it's not reinforced.
Good luck. Sorry for your misfortune. I had to work too, when my kids were young. They went to day care and turned out just fine. Glad we have that choice.
2006-09-16 22:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by Siri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe put baby numbing gel on his gums in case they hurt.
It could be that he is angry that he is away from you or home or that he has competition for the attention of the day care worker. Maybe ask if the day care worker could give him a few hugs during the day.
Perhaps you could communicate to him that he will have to leave his friends and go to a new daycare if he bites.
2006-09-13 11:05:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What can you do? Delayed punishment is impossible with 11 month old. The day care is going to have to work something out. Ask them what are they doing about it, What do they think he is biting there and not at home, he can't tell you. is it a defense???
2006-09-13 10:55:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean, other than a muzzle? :)
But seriously, it's not easy to reason with an 11 year old, but they do understand cause and effect. If you can, take the time to watch your kid with others. Eventually, when he bites someone, immediately and only forcefully enough to sting, smack his mouth and tell him sternly "No biting!". Wait and watch - he'll do it again. Apply the same corrective behavior. After a few times he should get it.
2006-09-13 11:01:03 · answer #11 · answered by Pundit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋