Where is the logic in spanking or hitting a child?

Question

Yes - children need discipline and clear boundaries. However -- If a child is doing something wrong and you haul off and hit him, you are doing so in a moment of anger. If you say "oh, I cool off first, then spank," I don't understand that either. If you can take the time to cool off, surely you can devise more appropriate ways to discipline your child. I know it can be difficult to get out of the habit - particularly if your parents spanked you. Indeed, I know some people have trouble because deciding not to spank means they have to deal with their parents saying "I spanked you, and you turned out okay." When what actually happened is that you learned from your parent that it's okay to inflict physical pain when a child does something wrong. Try to put your parents out of the picture - YOU are the adult now and your child is testing his/her boundaries. Why are you still resorting to hitting your child?

When will spanking apologists invent some new way to explain their behavior? What you seem to be ignoring is the FACT that millions of people NEVER spank/hit their children and those children are not getting hit by cars or playing with knives. There are equally effective, non-violent ways to teach your children about danger. So again - why are you still resorting to spanking when there are obviously other options?

There are equally effective non-violent ways to discipline children, and there are plenty of resources for the information. So given that, why would anyone still resort to spanking or hitting?

Get a hold of yourselves people -- I NEVER said this was child abuse and I NEVER would. Please try discussing what is actually written.

Alternatives to corporal punishment are not complicated, but they do require parents to be willing and able to give more time and thought to discipline, to exercise self-control, to be considerably imaginative, and to be quick-thinking.

...still wondering if someone is going to actually answer the question regarding why, if given an entire array of equally effective methods, would someone still resort to this...

The "key" is not finding ONE particular method. The key is flexibility in using a variety of methods. But that requires thought, patience, creativity and quick thinking.

Answer 1

It is to get their attention. It isn't to brutalize them.

Somethings are important enough you don't want "maybe" to enter their mind.

If you tell your 6 year old, "You can play in the front yard, But I'm watching you frmo the kitchen. If you put one *toe* in the street I will come out and spank you."

The child may want to test their boundries, and will gingerly step one foot off over the curb... You *have* to get out there and follow up on the rules.

If you don't:

The child learns to think following your rules are optional. They also get mixed up because the boundries of "ok" and "not ok" aren't clear. You leave room for "maybe".

*note; It doesn't do any good to spank kids under the age of 2 though, they haven't developed a sence of consequence strong enough to make it preventative yet.

My two cents.

Answer 2

It really depends on the child. I grew up in a family of 9 kids and I now am the proud aunt of 12 nieces and nephews. Lets take my nephew for instance, spanking him only makes him more angry and belligerent, but you put him in a room alone and his world crumbles and he is "so sorry he won't do it again!" and he behaves for the rest of the day. However his sister you put her alone or in the corner, she doesn't care, but you pop her one and she will then behave. The key I think is find out what punishment works for your child. Another instance I have a nephew that dreads writing lines like, -I won't hit my little sister- for instance he hates it with the passion. Spanking him and isolating him does not work. So it is up to the parents on how they discipline their child but the main thing is in my opinion is NO EMPTY THREATS. Saying "if you do that again!" 50 times in a row , your child will never take you seriously, always follow through with what you say you are going to do. I give my daughter 3 chances on the third she gets punished the older she gets depending on the situation the less chances she gets. Parenting is hard and confusing and sometimes scary. Am I too harsh? not harsh enough? I worry all the time.

Answer 3

there is a logic on spanking not hitting. I don't care how much you don't like this answer or whatever.
I can tell you that when i was a child i knew i had better listen, behave and obey what i was told to do. If i back talked i got popped on the butt. if i threw a fit i go popped on the butt. People who knwo how to control their anger can spank without anger behind it. Self control upon the discipline. I never spanked my oldest child ever and he is a walking trouble making child. i spanked my youngest once. Spanking should be used in extreme measures nothing less. The crime has to fit the time. Without them understanding life has consquences they have to start at home first. Rather than when they become teens. Look at society's children today the teens that do as they please. Half of them were raised by the era that don't spank.. be friends with your child be cool! By this time they dont care so even grounding barely works, it'd be too late, then the law will step in and they will punish far harder than a spanking ever thought of.
Spanking done correctly also snaps them out of a wild major tantrum. One pop is sufficient enough no more.

Answer 4

I grew up in private schools where using the strap or the cane was still acceptable, and when it happened, the news spread like wildfire over the whole school as it was so rare to happen and everyone wanted to know what the student had done to deserve this punishment. It was an AMAZING deterent. I never heard of a student receiving the punishment more then once, and no, they weren't scarred for the rest of their lives.
Today's kids know no discipline or fear. "Time-outs" and alternative discipline has bread a society of kids who have very little respect for authority. We are looking at how to deal with a growing number of children who are partaking in murder, drug dealing, car thefts......because they have nothing better to do and know that the punishment will be minor. Eventually, the punishment must fit the crime, and for extreme cases at home, a spanking might be the last resort. Yes, 90% of children will never need to even know of that threat, but that last 10% better be aware that they are responsible for their actions.....and 'alternative' punsihment doesn't work. Meanwhile, kids continue to stretch those boundaries too far as the punishment doesn't fit the crime.

Answer 5

A smack needs to be reserved for when you need to get your child's attention to the fact that this is serious, this is about a safety issue, and you can't afford to play around.

A single smack on the best-padded part of the anatomy, not a ritual "beating" or an out-of-control parent trying to get vengeance for the trouble the kid caused.

If you reserve it for this most important function, it will retain it's attention-getting capabilities. If you do not, it will become just another weapon the war for control waged by your child against you. In the long run, you lose that war even if you win a single battle here and there. Because the child will grow older, and so will you.

You don't want to win the war for control with your child; you want him to learn self-control so that he can win it, ultimately. For that, you need a cease fire. Talk it over and negotiate terms; it's going to be worth it in the long run.

Think three times.

Answer 6

There is a difference in spanking for punishment and hitting out of anger. I don't know your history, like if you were spanked or not, maybe even abused. I know there are other methods of discipline which I use when nessisary but some actions just call for a good ol' fashioned *** whooping. I was spanked growing up, never out of anger. I know from my experience, that I thought my actions through better. "HM is this really worth a raw rear?" I think that's whats wrong with most kids these days. They don't have anything to fear as a consequence of their actions. "If I beat this kid up whats gonna happen? A lecture and timeout?" Scary. My mom used this method only in certain circumstance's of course not for every little thing. I love and respect her for her decisions. It's hard to hurt your loved ones and I now know what she meant when she would say "this hurts me to do but one day you'll thank me." I remember thinking she was nuts, I'll never thank her for this! As a grown adult, I do thank her for her love and good intentions. I realised that whatever I did for my spanking hurt her soul. So don't look down your nose at people who believe in spanking for discipline. Now people who hit out of anger that's an ugly cycle and something that should be dealt with.

Answer 7

Because they are lazy. Spanking is the "easy out" that puts a quick end to the behaviour *for the moment* but may very well not teach the long term lesson that needs to be learned from the situation. If people would just invest a little more time in *teaching* their kids, then they wouldn't feel the need to smack them.

Answer 8

An unacceptable effect of inexperience in attending to renowned parenting skills. listed the following are a thanks to artwork on: Distraction - getting childs interest faraway from the forbidden interest. Ignoring the habit - not each and every misbehavior needs a crackdown. Structuring the surroundings - create a danger-free surroundings and those issues that are off limits kee them faraway from attain. administration the difficulty, not the youngster - imagine about the right thanks to regulate a difficulty to maintain away from misbehavior, fairly of responding after it occurs. Invovlve the youngster by employing providing possibilities - providing a decision provide your baby a feeling of a few administration. ex, "in case you devour this now, then not something letter". exception, there's no determination even as it contains protection. making plans ahead - questioning ahead to maintain away from misbehavior. for instance, in the experience that your baby is drained and cranky that would not be a sturdy time to bypass buying. also, spend high quality time at the same time with your baby popular. a baby guaranteed of human beings interest has a lot less prefer to act out to get it. enable your baby experience consequences - children prefer to make stronger their independence. advance consistency - children favor recurring and consistency. If a be sure isn't in step with limits and limits then baby will be at a loss for words. word and praise sturdy habit - maximum major technique. capture your baby doing something you want and praise him/her. "wonderful" "You Rock".... with the exception of baby with holiday - one minute in accordance to age three hundred and sixty 5 days. the picture of using a bike prepare popular and also you turns into better at disciplining your baby. some days you would possibly want to bypass again to "smacking" yet week by employing week you'll smack a lot less and a lot less till smacking will not be your determination. I did spank my daughters bottom once in a lengthy time period, yet, like I stated it has progressively decreased through the years to no extra spanking. Peace be with you

Answer 9

Spanking should be the ultimate last resort after you have exhausted all other avenues of punishment.

My opinion is that a parent should talk to the child and find out WHY the child is acting that way. Then, the parent can decide on the appropriate level of a response to the child's behavior.

It can be taking away a fav toy, not getting treats after meals, whatever. Then, and only after that do you move on to more severe treament.

Answer 10

I spank. I don't like it and it is a last resort, but I do it and it works.

I give no more that three solid whaps on the upper thigh. He stops and takes me seriously. Then I put him in the cornor.

People spank for various reasons. I do it to get my son's attention, others do it for control, because they are out of control, or they want their child to submit.

Sorry if you disagree with my methods, but I do not feel like I am an out of control child abuser.