My daughter will cry and scream if she doesn't get her away when guest are in my home. She even starts talking baby talk and acts like she doesn't understand anything I say, but when it's just me and her. She talks clearly, she's well behaved, and she can even say her ABC's and count and do other things kids her age don't get a grasp of. But guest look at her like she's retarded because she doesn't act right in front of them. She doesn't do it with family and close friends only people who don't come around much. Am I just overreacting?
2006-09-13 03:45:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
The reason I said people think she's retarded is because she was born 3 months early and people kind of expect her to be slow, but she actually the opposite, very smart.
2006-09-13 03:54:14 · update #1
When guest aren't around she actually never does anything wrong, so I have no need to punish her. I guess your right, I don't really know how to discipline her becuaause usually she's a little angel and I never really needed to. Only problem she every had was biting about a year ago and No was sufficient, but no and stop doesn't work with this.
2006-09-13 03:58:57 · update #2
She's looking for attention. try ignoring her or sending her to her room for this behaviour and explain to your guest that she normally doesn't act like this and apologize for her behaviour. good luck
2006-09-13 03:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by Greeneyed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT over reacting - learning to be polite and other common courtesies are a very important part of growing up. She is definitely trying to get your goat and test her power (very common at her age BTW) -
I think the first poster here is right - ignore her. Quietly excuse yourself, pick her up and put her in her room or the corner for a time out then calmly return to your guests. Note you will have to probably repeat this several times before she realizes you're not going to cave in and get all upset. At that juncture the behavior should wane. You are the adult, so be consistent and firm (if you're not you're giving the wrong signals)
When she behaves positively find a small way to reward her. For example, after company leaves have some "me and mom" time doing something she loves. This will show her that (a) you appreciate her positive efforts, and (b) that she's very important in your life even if you have friends she need not compete with them.
2006-09-13 10:54:50 · answer #2 · answered by Loresinger99 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she has realized that when company is at your house she can get away with acting up. Any other time you would make her stop, therefore she doesn't try it then. Kids are smart and they know when they can and cant get away with something. You need to take her to another room and talk with her even put her in time out while the guest are there. She has to learn that even if someone is at your house the rules still apply and she will get punished. Good Luck
2006-09-13 11:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by mommylee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dealing with kids is kind of like training a puppy. If you punish the puppy ten minutes after he pees on the carpet, he doesn't get it. You have to catch the puppy in it's act and grab him and take him outside. When your daughter begins acting out, you have to drop what ever it is that you're doing and deal with her. Even if your guests and you are having a good time, stop and deal with your daughter. You should always get down on her level and talk with her, explain why she can't act that way. If you are looking down at her barking, "No, Stop" it's not as affective because she is being talked at, not talked to.
You don't necassarily need to punish her, just teach her it's wrong and not to do it.
2006-09-13 11:31:34 · answer #4 · answered by Sera B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try giving her, and your guests a formal introduction, as soon as they come in the house. Put her in charge of the situation, so she can be the center of attention, since that's what she wants. Have her offer them a seat, or a drink or whatever. She can even tell them where she wants them to sit! If she is liking the situation at this point, maybe you have found the way to develop her social skills. Let her run "the tea party." If she shys away from this, then she may decide to go off and play on her own, leaving you and your guests to visit uninterupted.
2006-09-13 11:00:37 · answer #5 · answered by rebecca_sld 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she knows the rules when no one is around, she'll follow them when she's in public. If she knows "cut it, now." Means she's two seconds from time out or a spanking, she'll know it means that no matter what.
Whats happened is that you've avoided punishing her for her behavior for the sake of the guests that are present, and she's picked that up and ran with it.
IN order for her to stop acting this way, you need to be every bit as solid and consistant with her when friends are over, as when its just you and her.
If she gets a time out for that behavior any other time, then you need to excuse yourself and stick her butt in a time out, and deal with it from start to finish, i dont care how much she screams and throws a fit.
You're teaching her that its her responcibility to act respectfully regardless of the situation. She'll need that skill for life as an adult. So she must learn it, for her sake.
I'd invite over a friend you know and trust, maybe even one who is a mom, and explain to that person(s) what you're doing. You need someone who's not going to meddle in, or become alarmed that you're parenting your child in the midst of their visit. Let them come over, and wait for her to act like she usually would, and then take the needed actions.
Always be consistant, dont shoo her away, or try to calm her without a scene just because theres people around. That only teachers her that her limits are greater with company than when alone with you.
It'll take a little time, but you can stop that behavior just fine. And end up with a child who can interact and enjoy having company over, just as much as you.
2006-09-13 10:52:53 · answer #6 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Thats nice to call your daughter retarded. She's 2 1/2 years old. All kids act like that in front of people. They like to show off. My child is 4 and is still doing it. She likes to act up when the InLaws are over and tends not to listen. You have to let them know who the boss is. She's a child, let her be one.
2006-09-13 10:53:50 · answer #7 · answered by jevic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think that you are over reacting. She is probably acting up when you have company over because she feels that she's not getting enough of your attention while you are visiting with your guests.
Maybe you can take breaks in between visiting with your guests and focus all of your attention on her.
2006-09-13 10:53:24 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try stopping what you are doing and make her look directly at your company and apologize. Even at this age they begin to understand that her behavior makes all the activity stop. Thank her once she says sorry then give her something to do that is quiet.
2006-09-13 11:01:13 · answer #9 · answered by mom2mbkcr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when she starts acting like that, start imitating her so she can see how it looks. kids learn by imitation and watching others. for example if my kid ever acts out in a grocery store and throws a fit on the floor, im goin to join them right there on the floor and throw a fit right along with them! ive doen it before several times with my cousins while babysitting them. guess who gets up first and looks at the other like their crazy..... the kid!
2006-09-13 11:06:14 · answer #10 · answered by foxzie006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋