My child is 2 1/2 years old. Parent has not been invovled prior to. Initially I made efforts to encourage their relationship. Since there was no response, after a year, I stoped encouraging the relationship. Now parent wants to jump right in. I am not comfortable with this, because he has a tendancy to jump right out. How do I protect my young one from future heartache.
2006-09-13 03:44:05 · 9 answers · asked by hptllc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well if they have legal rights there is not much you can do. You may try talking to them and explaining your concerns and let them know that since they have been gone they might start coming over for dinner or lunch and spending time with the child on family outing where you can watch them and the baby if they agree you will be able to determine if they will be good for the child or vise versa and take it from there Baby steps will be the order for a couple of years if they stick around. This is for the child not them and when the child is old enough to understand a little bit more the child needs to know who his parents are they are smart enough to realize who cares and who doesn't. But keep there relationship as a "friend of the Family" type of thing until the kid is at least able to hold a conversation about 4-5 years old then you will need to sit it down and let him know the score in an unbiased way let the child determine what he will accept and what he won't with the absentee part time parents.
2006-09-13 03:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by squekie0874 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the courts and get supervised visitation or limited visitation, let the other parent and child get to know each other but only a little at a time. A 2yr old is to young to be with someone they dont know overnight. Ask the other parent to come to your house and hang out with the child for a while like a couple hours a night for a couple weeks or so before the stay with them. It will be better on the child if they get to know them first.
2006-09-13 03:50:00 · answer #2 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say, give that parent a little lead way, nothing to serious, but a few more time spent with the child won't hurt. Don't go the whole way and have the parent jump right in especially if you know that the parent has the tendency of jumping in and out of the child's life. It wouldn' t be healthy to the child.
2006-09-13 03:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, going through the same thing.. there's no right or wrong answer because right now u wanna protect ur child and eventually the child will see that the dad is a jerk off and a good for nothin piece of shyt but in the meantime u have to do what u think is right, because right now ur the soul provider..
but i don't think keeping the father away is gonna help especially if he's not harming the child physicall.. but he'll be harming emotionally and u need to let the dad know that if he's not ready to be a full-time parent then he needs to pay the child support and keep it moving.. seeing the face of ur child when the dad dissapoints them is heartbreaking... and ur child is to young to understand anything..
i'd take him to court for child support and for him to have visitations.. start by doing that and see what happens....
2006-09-13 03:50:02 · answer #4 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience the legal way is the best way. Proving that the other parent will provide an unstable relationship will be the best thing to do. It Will Be hard, but in reality anyway around this will be hard. Maybe if you talk to the guy he'll understand how his behavior might affect your child. If all else fails now that children are smart and at the end they will know who was really there for them.
2006-09-13 03:49:28 · answer #5 · answered by sandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of discouraging the unreliable parent, try talking to the unreliable parent and explain how negatively their actions will effect the child if they up and leave again. Make it perfectly clear they will be hurting the child.
2006-09-13 03:48:22 · answer #6 · answered by barter256 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to court and have them rule on visitation. The judge after hearing that may decide that your child would be harmed by this unstable parent. I hope your situation works out. Good Luck!
2006-09-13 03:47:53 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have full and complete custody, you cannot stop them. The courts suck at these things and don't really care about the child, just someones "rights". If he is not on the birth certificate and has no custody rights, then he has no visitation rights. If he is paying regular support, then he does have visitation rights, even if he does not use them regularly. If he is inconsistant, refuse him visits and let him take you to court. He will have to start being regular or they will stop enforcing his rights and it will be his fault. Good luck to ya!!! GaryT
2006-09-13 03:59:28 · answer #8 · answered by gary t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant really but if the other parent has visitation then he can see the child according to the divorce decree. but if there is no child support coming then maybe you can go to the courts and gets some things changed
2006-09-13 03:46:44 · answer #9 · answered by gsschulte 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋