I have this friend who I am extremely attracted to. Every time we see each other we end up having sex. It isn't like all we do is have sex but it is pretty often. We do other things besides that, we know each others family, hang out.etc. Ithink When we became friends I had feelings for him but just didn't want a relationship at the time so it was never an issue. I don't think he wanted one either. We both date other people and we maintain our friendship, but my feelings for him have changed. I find myself wanting to be with him in a relationship and for us to be exclusive. I really don't know how he would react to this because I honestly don't know if he is thinking about it. I know this is all my fault for allowing myself to be in the sexual relationship without knowing how I truly felt first. I'm really asking if what I want is even possible or is it to late? I don't want to wake up one day and he tell me he has a gf now it was fun.
2006-09-13 03:40:12 · 17 answers · asked by Freespirit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow - bad situation. that's what usually happens, tho - you are his "friend with benefits" & he may not be seeing you as potential relationship material. unfortunately, men can do women like that & not get emotionally involved, while sex with a guy usually leads to the female falling hard for the guy. I think what you want IS possible - but you are going to need to sit down & talk to him about it. You are going to have to be completely honest with him about how you're feeling. THEN, you're going to have to deal with his response. It may very well be that he doesn't feel the same way towards you - BUT - at least you will know. If he's not interested in making a relationship, I'd cut off the sex with him. For your own protection, that is - it would help you from gtting in deeper with him emotionally & avoid future hurt. I'd say do this now, because he may tell you one day soon he's got someone else - & that would be a shame because you never got to tell him how you felt. Good luck & I really do wish you well - if he can see what's good for him, he'll be with you!!!!
2006-09-13 03:47:27 · answer #1 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat as you, except me and my friend have only slept together once, if that even makes a difference...lol. But I feel your pain. I keep getting advice to tell him how I feel too but it's not so easy, as you know. I can tell you that I haven't told him how I feel and it's the worst pain in the world holding this all in. I think it's going to come out really soon bc I can't take it anymore. I get the feeling that it might be too late for us though. He already slept with me, and it's old news to him now. I think we need to get if off our chests and tell them though before they come to us and say they have met someone, bc that would hurt so much, him walking away like that. Sometimes guys can just look at girls as f buddies and nothing more and it sucks. It's like they are saying we are good friends, and we're good enough to sleep with, but sorry, no relationship. I think it's best to be honest and then if he doesn't feel the same way, cut him out of your life completely. That's what I'm going to do (when I get the guts) bc I think just being platonic friends with him would be too hard for me. He could have those feelings for you and just not be sure if you do, so he's holding back, but most likely (no offense) I think he just sees you as very accesible when he wants sex and it just happens to be you are a friend. It's so hard to read guys bc they are so fickle, so the only thing we can do is be honest with them and see what they say about it. If he said no,(it will hurt) but at least you'll know and can move on. Getting over that hurt will be easier than getting over the hurt of him getting a gf and pushing you away or holding it all in. I hope this helps. I wish you luck. And I feel your pain!
2006-09-13 11:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by Yen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have 3 things body,mind,soul. If u stop at body level you will be just an animal. We have to pass away across the body/sex etc. The orgasm which u got in sex had came from your mind itself. You can have it through maditation also. Try it. If u love one.. You are not loving him . You are loving your self. The life is just mutual if u want 2 get some thing u have to give up some thing. Dont hang with the past. The life is just a market.. no relationships no attachments. Dont worry .. be happy .. debit what comes in credit what goes out ..dont worry for any thing. Only the death is vital ..all other are trash
2006-09-13 10:49:25 · answer #3 · answered by chittoor .yes.Murugeshan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about how you feel. Tell him that thing about not knowing his feelings before the sex started, that will put the situation in a different light for him. What I would suggest is to stop having a physical relationship with him for now until you know for sure how you both feel about eachother. If the sex continues and you are both dating other people, somebody's heart is bound to get broken. I'm sure he feels the same about you, that is how it sounds anyway. Good Luck.
2006-09-13 10:45:02 · answer #4 · answered by Dre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In any relationship it is important to have an open and honest line of communication. You just need to tell your friend that your feelings have grown for him and that you find yourself wanting to be with him more and more and to be exclusive. Just answer his questions honestly . By doing this you are not only being honest with him but also with yourself. You may find out they have similar feelings as well and are just scared of scaring you off if they said something. Good luck.
2006-09-13 10:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by tom4texas 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is to talk to him and find out how he feels, he may not realise u have these feelings and thats why he hasnt said anything to u, no offence to males but they need things straight forward, no hinting, it has to come straight out. The longer you wait the further he might get away from u, if u are good friends than give it a shot, at least then you will know exactly where you stand with him
GOOD LUCK
2006-09-13 10:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by brandy w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a wonder for me to know that friends indulge in sex. well , maybe i'm just too conservative about the fact that sex should be between two people who love each other.
anyway, you wouldn't know for sure what he feels towards you until you tell him what you truly feel. just be ready for his answers though.
if it's positive then good for both of you. if it's negative, it is still good because you know how he feels towards you.
i have this hunch that he also likes you but is concerned about the fact that you didn't want a relationship with him before. he respects your decision that's why he doesn't bring up the issue.
whatever is the outcome, just be ready okey?
good luck!!!
2006-09-13 11:43:01 · answer #7 · answered by smiling face 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty simple..... next time you get together ask him if he's ever thought about the two of you becoming more than friends with bennies. Keep it relaxed and low key so he won't feel pressured to tell you what you want to hear. Good Luck!
2006-09-13 10:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by DialM4Speed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just suggest to him that you might be interested in a more wholesome exclusive relationship and see what he says! It doesn't seem like you guys have a hard time communicating, so just ask him over dinner or drinks!
Best of Luck
2006-09-13 10:48:05 · answer #9 · answered by carpenter2929 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best answer I can give you is ...be honest with him. If your not then one day you may just get that wake up call.
Ask him where he thinks you guys are headed. Tell him that you would like to try it as a couple.
2006-09-13 10:44:35 · answer #10 · answered by Parisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋