support .
++++++++++++++++Fear++++++++++++++++++++++
What are you deepest fears? What chills you to the bone? A scary movie? Halloween? Why do we love being scared?
I love the unknown. Do you wonder what waits for you on the other side of death's door? I do. Maybe it's a cold and lonely world, unlike the heaven we teach our children about. I ponder these things a lot of the time. Death is not beautiful. Death is not our friend. I sense a cold winter chill whenever I visit the graveyards or speak of the dead. There is something haunted there in the shallow ground. There is something electric in the air. Can you feel it?
2006-09-13 03:32:53 · 13 answers · asked by Princess 29 71 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Immigration
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-YyYT2mYhaa.MK627zUW1MnKCfypX.Q--?cq=1
2006-09-13 03:33:14 · update #1
By the way, the people who are saying that the writing stuff is a sham, it may have been for some. Depends on where you go but obviously, they are just making a pathetic attempt to tear down what I have done and this doesn't belong in the immigration forum. I had a lot of good luck with my writing but a lot of things,
2006-09-13 04:05:26 · update #2
katsulove-You are at level 6 -too much time on your hands obnoxious prick.
2006-09-13 04:46:05 · update #3
This is a terrible "poem". It's simply a paragraph of boring sentances, without any form of activity or beauty.
2006-09-13 03:34:53 · answer #1 · answered by effin drunk 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I agree that it isn't really a poem. It's more like an artful paragraph. It's hard to know, sometimes, the line between poetry and prose, but I know it when I see it.
There are also a couple of cliches - I would try to avoid using cliches in the future. Examples - "a cold winter chill," "something electric in the air," "chills you to the bone," etc.
Try to come up with new ways of saying these concepts.
Keep trying.
Where did you get published?
p.s. I'm a professional editor, I'll critique you if you want.
2006-09-13 03:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by LisaT 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just because the 'poem' was published doesn't mean a hill of beans. The poem shows a deep feeling of uncertainty, not necessarily of death, but of many fears. Get more experience with writing, think of other more pleasant things to write about. With time, you may write something of value to others and get your work published in the real world. There are so many places on the internet who will publish, but they are normally selling a book, etc. Don't fall for their tactics.
2006-09-13 03:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by skyeblue 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'll give you a thumbs-up because deserve one, but I can't give your poem a critique now, sorry. I'm in the final hour of my working day and it's been one of incessant bother, so I'd be too harsh and too short about it. If you would like a review, and I do review poetry as it occupies me, please fell free to remind me this evening. When I've had a few beers and put my feet up, I'd happily oblige.
2006-09-13 04:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by McAtterie 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'll send a critic in your direction because I don't feel qualified to critique...
Though I do get what you're trying to say, I think...
2006-09-13 03:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by CC...x 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like a threat to me. But I don't think princess is scared. Laterz.
2006-09-13 03:37:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I agree with Hayleylov.
2006-09-13 16:20:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
AMNESTY means never having immigration enforcement!
Those 'undocumented' are actually 'highly documented' with fraudulent documents our government readily accepts.
2006-09-13 03:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by hayleylov 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Its a job well done. It has a really deep meaning to it n i like it. Great job!
^^
2006-09-13 03:41:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
2 pts.
2006-09-13 03:50:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋