Single mom of 35... when in a relationship with a guy I really like, it has to be going somewhere (toward the future) at a good pace, or it is not worth it to me.
I don't feel like single parenting anymore, and I am to old to date someone for 1+ years.
Is this considered desperate or not?
2006-09-13 03:28:51 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, you are being practical and true to yourself. Desperate is when are needy, clingy, and are so available and waiting for any scrap of attention.
2006-09-13 08:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm..no, having an idea of what you are looking for and wanting things to progress steadily is not desperate. I think that there is a certain approach that needs to be taken though. I think it is best to go into these things with the idea of meeting a new friend first. Your mate will become your best friend, so it isn't wasting your time, plus it keeps you objective and allows things to happen naturally. There is time that has to be invested in any friendship/relationship, it is rare that you will find an "instant mate", so as long as you approach things this way, you dont appear desperate or demanding. Caution and care is always needed when children are involved especially. Just be yourself and I am sure it will all happen for you. Im sure the right guy will work at a pace you both agree to. Good luck.
2006-09-13 03:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. Do I think you are desperate for wanting to renew your life? No. Look, its tough enough going through life alone but with a child and doing it on your own is even harder, I would imagine. Look, you desire to have someone in your life and I cant blame you for that. Look, I will be 35 in a few months myself and have been divorced for one year but I do not have children. However, I have been extremely lonely and have been dating guys just so that I am not alone and I feel like the relationship I am in right now probably wont go anywhere. Yet I ask myself why am I still with him? I do in fact love him but there are a lot of differences in our lifestyles etc. But this is not about me, its about you and the old saying is were not getting any younger. For you at least, you have a child and your child is the best miracle you have to your life if nothing else. If you honestly dont think its going to lead into something then you should break it off just like me. Your question is a perfect question. One thing I know is that whenever I have dated someone I dated them mostly because they liked me, not me liking them. Thats why my relationships fail for me b/c I am not choosing them, they are choosing me. And every relationship starts off great and I put up with their " stuff " but then later down the line reality sets in and I no longer can accept or deal with their " stuff " like I used to. I mean there are always going to be things (quirks) we all do and we get pissed by them but the real question to ask is " what can I live with ?". For me, I'm in love with this guy I've been dating but he's not really interested in kids, he's much older then me and he wants to move to another state eventually. I want someone in my life b/c I am tired of living alone and not having my life shared with someone. Whatever you choose make sure you choose powerfully for you and dont listen to what others have to say either. Sometimes friends are the first ones to bash everything you do. Good luck and sorry for this being so lengthy.
2006-09-13 03:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by Uncertainty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just_me, I want to advice you that you should NEVER compare your relationship journey with that of some other people. Otherwise, there will be problems which may eventually result to frustration. Try and understand whoever comes your way inside out. If the situation demands waiting for a year or two before you get together, I think it's worth sacrificing. Never allow your today to spoil your tomorrow just because of impatience. I hope you understand my point. Cheers!
2006-09-13 03:36:26 · answer #4 · answered by mykemejeje 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If your a single mom, that is probably where your mind is focused right now. I dont think its desperate at all. TONS AND TONS of girls only date guys they see themselves with in the future. Why not? Even when I was younger I only dated guys that I could see myself with at some later point in life. If they did something that was Not my style, I bailed. Good luck. Hope you find what you are searching for.
2006-09-13 03:31:36 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ready for a relationship (long term), but there aren't too many men that are willing to go into a serious relationship with someone who has children. Don't despair, your guy will come. I say stop looking and he will find you. You don't seem desperate to me, you're just someone who knows what she wants and needs. There is nothing wrong with that, more power to you.
Peace, love your way.
2006-09-13 03:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by wonderwoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be a mistake to decide one way or the other. Each potential relationship has to be judged on its own merit. There will be some men that you'll not want to consume your time for so little progress or potential. There may be some other men that, because they are well adjusted themselves, are going to require a slower investment of time and energy -- but with a big payoff.
2006-09-13 03:33:46 · answer #7 · answered by pilgrimchd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, but you gotta think of how many guys are ready to walk it to a family. and then consider all the other single moms wanting what you want. it is like the day after thanksgiving sale fight over the last pair of size 7 boots. everyone wants them, and there are not enough to go around. you just gotta come terms, and look out for your child first, and good luck
2006-09-13 03:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by chris1979pt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say YES ~ I have been dating the same man for 6 years. I have been married once. It didn't work so I think "why make the same mistake twice" Dating is great and no one really loses out when the breakup happens
2006-09-13 03:31:41 · answer #9 · answered by JUNONNKI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is not that clear. If you love the guy , then why search anymore ? If you don't love the guy, and just want a partner to help you with your child, well, maybe that is all he is looking for too. It just depends on if you really want to spend your life with this guy. If you don't want to , then I wouldn't do it , just to get help with the kid(s) you have. You will regret that. Good Luck ! :)
2006-09-13 03:32:51 · answer #10 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Desperate because you feel like time is running out and you are getting older and you want to build a foundation for yourself as well as your children. Don't feel bad you just want what you want and to be married it just about every woman's dream. Just take it easy and hopefully your prince will come soon.
2006-09-13 03:35:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋