How do you deal with people who stare? For example, I went in the gym and as I was leaving...?

Question

...the receptionist was staring at me and did not stop untill I was out of her sight. Also, men often stare at me while I am at the gym. I go in there looking as normal as possible. Sometimes this happens in other places. Does this ever happen to you? How would (or do) you deal with it?

I wear long workout pants and a T shirt.

Answer 1

Hi there,

Though it is not possible to change the attitude or behavior of other people around you, it is very much in your hands to change your attitude and orientation.

As a counsellor, I come across quite a number of people who become self-conscious about their body or their attire. This self-consciousness is subtly picked up by people around you, who react *unconsciously* by looking at you for a long time, trying to figure out why their "system" picked up this strange signal from you. This heightens your self-consciousness further. This stimulus-response-stimulus becomes a self-feeding, self-perpetuating cycle.

How would I deal with it? Here are a few tips:

1. Stop thinking about other people around you. Enjoy yourself.
2. Whenever you catch anybody staring at you, simply look in the general direction towards them, give a nod of your head, as if saying 'hi' to them, and get back to doing whatever it is that you were doing.
3. This is most important. Never brood over it. Never give any further thought to the stares. Wipe the thought away firmly, and focus your attention on the task at hand.

Very gradually, you will discover that this feeling of being stared at has automatically vanished!

Hth.

Answer 2

I have 3 gorgeous sisters and one gorgeous girlfriend. Being protective, I have noticed guys staring at my sisters or my girl in various situations. Here is my conclusion.

People stare at either something that attracts them, or something that repulses them, or something that is just different.

If you are the attractive one:
- That's how most guys are. I say most because some do try to respect a persons privacy.... but even I sometimes find myself trying to catch a second glimpse of someone who was like "wow"... I guess it is part of what makes us human. So, just accept the fact that you are blessed with great looks and that's one of the prices you have to pay... or dress yourself up in a way that "hides" your beauty... which is kinda not the best idea.

- Some girls stare at attractive girls cuz they like to figure out if they can make themselves look better too and probably for other reasons much like you stare at a maganize model...

If you are the repulsive kind:
- Go fix yourself up

If you are the different kind:
- Well, I assume by dressing or trying to look different you are ok with the attention...

Answer 3

Unless you're an actress or a drop-dead gorgeous human being the the stares must have some other meanings. Sometimes you don't have a choice but get used to it and enjoy it.

Unfortunately, you can't ask them to stop staring in front of their faces. If you could get close enough to these people, a simple "Hi" and a smile might hint them that they're staring close enough for you to notice them.

Girl, they have eyes. Obviously, they will use them.

Answer 4

I can't stand it so I stare back. lately I ask sopmething like, "Is my hair sticking up or do I have spinich in my teeth? and start attempting to fix the pretend problem and get the message and look somewhere else. I personally HATE to be stared at. I'm not execptionally beauituful so I'm not used to it. I see people staring at beautiful girls all the time so I'm used to that but nobody ever stares at me.

Answer 5

Stare back. Stop what you're doing and just gaze at them as if you don't have anything else to do. It's rude to stare regardless of if a person is beautiful or butt-ugly so you should be rude back to them. They're adults and should act that way.

Answer 6

The best way to make people stop staring is to make firm eye contact with them. If they do not stop staring once they see that you know they are staring at you, then ask them a question such as "May I help you," or "Nice weather we're having, huh?" This should stop the problem. It is truly uncomfortable.

Answer 7

Simply tell them that it is rude to stare and ask if they would like 2 be stared at ; that is if u are bold.If not don't look up at their face and juz walk off or do what u came there 2 do.

Answer 8

I live in Japan. As a foreigner in Japan we a a very small minority. We are always being stared at pointed to and talked about behind are backs. All you have to do is ignore it. If you just can't stand it or can't ignore these rude people then confront them.
Ask them "what the hell are you staring at"? "You got a problem with your eyes"? See what these people say. Explain to them that their mothers should have told them as children not to stare at people. Or are they just ignorant pigs?
Frankly my solution is just to ignore these ignorant people.

Answer 9

Sometimes people "staring" is in our head...they might just be looking in your direction and in deep thought....haven't you ever been looking at a wall or a something and been in deep thought? That's probably all it is....but on the other hand, they could just be staring...just ignore it....everybody gets stared at.....

Answer 10

You may be pretty/handsome (sorry i didn't notice your gender). It is out of admiration of your person, figure... may be.

The best think to do is to stare back if you have the opportunity. You will see that they will displace their look elsewhere. People normally don't sustain stares.