So I met this guy a few weeks ago, we've gotten super super close but we're not committed to each other. We just keep going on a couple of dates. The problem is he is off on his mission for his/my church for 2 years. I can't go with him, can't phone him, can't text or anything, Just write. For the whole 2 years. I do have strong feelings for him, but should I wait? I told him I wont, that I will dater other guys and if I'm single when he gets back we'll pick up from where we left off....but I'm thinking.....I don't really want to lose him.....what should I do?
2006-09-13 02:41:08 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hmm yes there is a second part to my question, If I did have strong feelings for him, should I tell him? or will that make it worse for him?
By the way, for those of you who asked, he is going to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints. (mormons - but not the crazy mormons who have loads of wives, those people are weirdoes) He's going to Denver, Colorado.
2006-09-13 03:18:25 · update #1
I think you gave him the right answer. Being young you will have many opportunities to meet other guys and date them youmay easily find someoent to replace him. Then again, you may find there is no one like him out there and when he returns you can pick up where you left off. I don't think its fair to you to not date anyone for 2 years seeing as how your relationship with this guy is still pretty young.
Go out and have fun!
2006-09-13 02:47:38 · answer #1 · answered by sitlead_80915 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you did the right thing. Yes, date other people. Depending on your age and circumstances, a lot can change in two years. I know that I've changed quite a bit in just one year of my life. From my experience and observations, people aren't really sure of who they are or what they want until they are at least 25 years old. Yes, there are exceptions, but generally speaking you change a huge amount between the ages of 18 and 25. It may not show on the outside, but you may be radically different in your thoughts, dreams and goals--and isn't that what really counts?
Think about it--mission service is probably going to cause changes in him too. He may not be the person that you knew by the time he comes back.
So yes, date other people.
Best wishes, and may God bless you!
2006-09-13 02:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by tampasmiles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take it he is mormon. They usually like to marry within their organization as well as only allow those of the same faith to even attend the wedding service. What are your motiviations for waiting? Is he your forever mate? Don't they do these missions while only being in their late teens? It's too soon to make that sort of commitment. Live your life. Worship, study, whatever it is that you need to do and when he gets back if the timing is right and you are available and he is still available and the interest is there then you can pursue it. Otherwise you'd be stupid to sit around waiting for a guy that isn't even your spouse.
2006-09-13 02:48:09 · answer #3 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't help who you fall for. If things are meant to be with this guy than they will be.
At the same time you can't stop living your life and if you happen to find someone else in the meantime I'm sure he'd understand.
Also it may be hard to just "pick up" where things left off after 2 years. People can change a lot in 2 years. You just gotta live your life and see what happens.
2006-09-13 02:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by bad_dog76 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its simple really - you either wait for him - 2 years really isnt that long you know!
Or you date other people and as you say if youre available youre available if youre not - you're not.
If youve only been dating for a few weeks Im not sure that its been long enough to put your life on hold for him - really only you can decide - but Id think about it long and hard.
Feelings change when the other person isnt around - particularly when you can only communicate through letters. You also have to be prepared for the fact that whilst you may wait - he may not feel the same when he comes back.
2006-09-13 02:44:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two years is a long time to ask anyone to wait. If you want to you will, but don't be too surprised if both of you move on in that two year period. People change and grow every day and it's hard enough sometimes to keep it together with someone you see every day.
Good luck.
2006-09-13 02:46:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just out of interest and for the purposes of background, how many other guys have you dated prior to this one. Also, explain his mission for your Church please.
He may well be "The one" for you, only you and someone higher know the answer. If it feels right, then let him know it but, be realistic, this could be a simple case of longing for him,because you know he is going away. If your feelings are deeper, tell him.
If he is a gentleman,he may stand the test of time.
Good Luck
2006-09-13 03:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he means that much to you, you should seriously consider why you can't go with him ... take time out from college or whatever, chuck your job in, do whatever you think is necessary to be with him.
If you don't go, there's a good chance that one of you will find someone else and that even if you're single when he comes back, you'll both have changed so much that you have nothing in common anymore.
So pack your bag, find your passport and go ... you might live to regret it! Good luck!!
2006-09-13 02:47:08 · answer #8 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him if theres any way he will change his mind and work here in the states. His church is important to him but just ask . 2 yrs is a long time for only writing. If not what else is there to do?
2006-09-13 02:44:40 · answer #9 · answered by bobsdidi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its 2 yrs your young and he aint necessarily the 1 and if it is meant to be then it will me and my bf have been friends for 5yrs and things kept gettin in the way so we never di anything and now were happy toogether 5yrs down the line!!
And you never know he might meet someone aswell its 2yrs thats a long time!!
2006-09-13 02:47:23 · answer #10 · answered by aimzinch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋