Im a soldier serving a hardship tour. If I go on leave and dont return cause of family problems, what happens?

Question

I have been told to sign in at base close to home and not return to my overseas duty assignment because i have no one to take care of my 2 year old daughter. If i dont come back what can happen to me? Im not trying to escape service, i just dont have anyone to take care of my daughter and i just cant abandon her. My mother in law plans on returning my daughter to me because she doesnt want to take care of her. She agreed to return my daughter when i go on leave. Can i be allowed to stay on that post close to home? Will i be chaptered for family care plan? What happens?

Answer 1

Talk to your chain of command and don't quit talking. Be open and honest about the situation. They can arrange for you to get a compassionate reassignment. Also, if your mother in law is the one with custody or taking care of your daughter, have her provide proof that's she's surrendering your daughter to you. Also, go see the Chaplin. They're alot of help in these situations. However, you can't just abandon your duty without going through proper channels. You'll be considered AWOL and have to serve time. That would be even worse for you and your daughter. If they allow you a compassionate, you'll have to immediately get to work on a family care plan. If you don't, they'll probably discharge you, as they did a friend of ours. Just do all you can with your current chain of command. You can also contact your branch and be sure to talk to the Chaplain. Most importantly, don't forget to get it in writing as proof that you're getting custody of your daughter. The chain will need that.

Good luck!!

Answer 2

Don't go over the fence! You'll be looking at jail time, though it'll probably be mitigated by the circumstances. Still, you don't want a bad conduct or other-than-honorable discharge in your past because it can really be a boat anchor when applying for jobs, loans, and a hundred other things. GO TO YOUR CHAIN OF COMMAND NOW!

Squad Leader
Platoon Leader
1SG
SGM
CO
Chaplain
Family Readiness Group
(probably several others, but I'm USAF, so I don't know the Army support structure too well)

Every one of these has a DUTY to help you out, and they will as long as you're straight with them and explain the situation. As someone else said, you'd be surprised at just how resourceful your chain can be at taking care of their Soldiers, especially the good ones. If I have a guy whose family is in trouble, I'm going to do what it takes to get them taken care of, because I need his head in the game. If that means letting him go, seldom is one man so indispensable that the unit can't charlie mike without him. Any good leader in your chain of command lives by the words, "Mission first, but people always."

Answer 3

Bottom line talk to your chain of command. As high up as possible. That means your CO. I had a squad leader that was dumber than a bucket of rocks and he and I NEVER got along, so I never went to him for help. But, when serious issues arose I could always approach the CO and answer when he asked [and the CO will ALWAYS ask] what the squad leader did/said about the situation that the squad leader couldn't resolve it. Yeah, i know they may seem like annoying politicians when they give answers to things and seem like they're simply trying to gloss over the problem and get you back toyour line assignment, but they are people and human, too. They WILL assist in anyway they can. It may even be something along the lines of finding other company families to take care of your little one freeing you up for work. When they have to, you'd be pretty amazed at what good creative problem solvers person in your chain can be. Even if they cannot provide the solution, they can usually get someone for you that can. There are outside company things to try like chaplain services. Whatever, as long as you make it known [and you're honest with yourself] that you want to do what you signed the dotted line to do, your chain will make that happen any way that is acceptable for you.

Answer 4

you absolutely MUST have a reliable Family Care plan in place at all times. Most likely scenario is you will be discharged.. But you also cannot just fail to return to your duty station.

You need to discuss this with your Chain of Command NOW, not after you go on your Mid tour leave. They may be able to give you a Humanitarian transfer or send you TAD close to your daughter until you can procure another care giver.

Answer 5

Be open about the situation, if you try to skirt things it is only going to come back to haunt you. You are, I am assuming, a single man raising a child. That, in an of itself, is to be commended in this day and age. If you talk to your CO I am sure that something can be worked out; the best scenario would be stationed stateside on a base where you can have daycare for her. You might want to get a chaplen involved as well, they are known to sink their teeth into a cause and not let go .. but in a good way.

Best of luck to you and your daughter.

Answer 6

I have seen this happen before and what you should do is, you have to talk to your commander and first sergeant and they will help you out. There will be something they can do about it, the Army takes care of soldiers and you and your baby girl will be fine. BUT you have to do that NOW don't wait until your leave expires and let them know what is going on and if grnd ma can hold on to your baby girl until you get this worked out that would be great.

Answer 7

Whoa hero you don't want to do that. If you have not left yet, you need to tell your chain of command that your family care plan just fell through and try to get it resolved. If you cannot, the commander will have to compassionaly reassign you or release you from service.

If you have any questions, send me a message.

Answer 8

More than likely they will offer you money to get out because of your lack of family care plan. I know it sucks but the military expects you to be ready to ship out at any given minute and if noone is taking care of your baby then you won't be deployable and i know this'll sound kind of rough but, they won't have any use for you if you're not deployable.

Answer 9

go see the base Chaplin and explain it to him or her...you would be considered AWOL by not reporting back to your station..then you would only make things worse they are legal channels for you to go thru..talk to your fist Sgt and co..........send an email to your congressman they really like to get invovled..and when a congressinal investigation come to a base they get done in a hurry....

Answer 10

I would talk to your higher-ups they might be able to help... Tell him what your mother in law told you and then tell him why the mother can take care of her... Find out who your FRG Leader is and talk to her I'm positive she can help too...

Good luck