ok here goes nothing, ok im married and trying to get a divorce and ive been separated from my husband for about 9 months and ive been seeing this guy for about 6 months and ive known him and liked him for about 3 years and now im 4 months pregnant by the guy im dating hes happy and so am i and he wants me to marry him when i get a divorce but im kinda scared cause my husband was very abusive and i dont want the guy im dating to end up abusing me? and i do lo9ve this guy im dating
and i do wanna spend the rest of my life with him
any advice for me
2006-09-13 02:32:14 · 25 answers · asked by spongebrat_sexychick 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YEA, U CAN GET MARRIED BUT I WOULD WAIT A WHILE. HAVE U HEARD OF GETTING OUT OF THE FRYING PAN AND JUMPING RIGHT INTO THE SKILLET?
2006-09-13 02:37:12 · answer #1 · answered by oaklandkc1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to say that you have never had any time to heal and figure out what you want. You basically have jumped from one relationship to another and now your pregnant. What you need is time to really think this through. Especially since you feel as though you want to spend the rest of your life with him, you need to be sure. Your concern for being in another abusive relationship is a red flag, because you say you have known this guy for some time. However you have doubts. I wouldn't be too hasty. Your being married still is like a security blanket from making a committment. Like having your cake and eating it too. Once the divorce is final he will want you to make that committment. You need to realize that once that security blanket is gone, you will not have any reason other than your own to say no. So maybe now is the time to tell him you need some time to be sure not about your love for him but to clear your head. Remember never to give someone a blackeye for a punch they didn' throw. You need inner healing and to be sure in your heart you have nothing to fear before you can go on to making another life time committment.
2006-09-13 09:43:00 · answer #2 · answered by miz_penni_1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it hard to under stand that you have gone thru a abusive relation ship with you er husband for 9 month but thin you go an sleep with another guy an start a relation ship whit him for 6month an now you er pregnant by this guy will to tell you the truth only you now this person an how he Reilly is with you . this is some thing you shooed of ask you er self before you started this relation ship it to late to be scared what you need to find out is or you going to be OK with you er baby an him . what you should of done is go ten a devours an given you er self some time to think an do other thinks for you er self .will for now the choice is really up to you . take care
2006-09-13 09:57:47 · answer #3 · answered by TONY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has this guy given you any reason to think he could be abusive?
I can understand your skepticism, but if your going to marry the guy, there has to be trust. without it, it just won't work! Try getting counseling before you take the plunge again. Just because you are expecting his child, doesn't mean you have to get married.
I've been through an abusive relationship. I know how difficult it is to trust again.
Good luck to you!
2006-09-13 09:41:00 · answer #4 · answered by Gramms 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer to your question is in para written as question by you. You married once to a man who used to abused you. You left for another man went to bed to have a baby and still you don't know his habits. Either you are sex starved so you just hit the bed or must be very ignorant of your life. Who does not know of the priorities of life.
2006-09-13 10:05:22 · answer #5 · answered by dhruba316 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have time to see the type of person he is. Most people are not abusive out of the blue they show signs, just pay attention. When we are in love we see want we want not what is really there.
If all looks good GO FOR IT! : )
2006-09-13 10:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are abusive to, you should of gotten divorced before you even got with anyone else let alone gotten pregnant by the guy,is that not considered adultry,and could not look good in your divorce hearing
2006-09-13 09:46:32 · answer #7 · answered by Iceman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont assign your ex's traits to this guy. if your b'f has done or acted in any way abusive, then you are are repeating the cycle. however, men dont become abusive ... they start out abusive. if this man has been the model of gentleness and understanding, then its unlikely that he would become abusive if he hasn;t already ... good things to watch for ... how does he treat his mother and sisters? with respect? respect is the key to a good and healthy relationship ... abuse is born out of disrespect
2006-09-13 09:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
coming out of an abusive relationship,you might need to work on your self esteem.Having said that,i think you should live with your new guy and see how it goes.Plenty of time for marriage in the future.You're fragile at the moment.Be gentle with yourself and follow your heart.Congrats on the baby too!Best of luck.
2006-09-13 09:38:43 · answer #9 · answered by up urs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi I was marred to an abbusive husband for 14yrs and had four children I didnt think I would ever want to get marred agian as I thought the same but I did fall in love agian to nice gentle man I have ben for 25yrs and he helped me raise my 4 daughters and we had a daughter together It took me a while to get rid the fear of it happening agian I think you should take that chance if you feel safe in your hart when your him good luck polly
2006-09-13 09:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by polly1949er 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋