I have a pet peve. I posted an answer to a question from a lady who said she was going through a rough time and what kind of guidance could she get. She said she wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Now, I usually don't give serious answers to anything, but I really felt bad for her, because I've been in that situation before. Not 1 single person gave her any advice other than "pray, pray, pray, read your bible, ask god, pray some more, pray, pray etc". All of my family members are Christian and I respect that, but this happens in real life too. Why can't people give real advice to other people instead of copping out and saying "Oh, just give it to god, it will work out". Sure, it'll work out 50% of the time, becuase that is the law of nature, but the other 50% of the time christians will say, "Well, it was god's will". Is it so much to ask to give a shoulder to cry on instead of just taking the easy road and telling them to give it to god? I'll take any feedback you give me.
2006-09-13 02:00:37 · 23 answers · asked by Squirrel 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Nerdly stud, you're funny.
2006-09-13 02:09:54 · update #1
Great answer southpaw!
2006-09-13 02:10:32 · update #2
dom316, don't bother. (ok, if it makes you feel better go ahead)
2006-09-13 02:11:26 · update #3
jhallmom, you are right on the money.
2006-09-13 02:12:07 · update #4
Rudechristian, great answer!
2006-09-13 02:13:12 · update #5
tenaciuos3leslie, see rudechristians answer. the bible does say that you can't go on your way after telling that person you are praying for, you have to do something and not just sit back. Like I said before, it's a copout.
2006-09-13 02:15:45 · update #6
iwantu2wantme2000-thank you, you just proved my point.
2006-09-13 02:17:20 · update #7
Good insight, Danielle.
2006-09-13 02:18:43 · update #8
wlkonwtr1, good answer.
2006-09-13 02:19:48 · update #9
well sometimes thats what keeps people going. They like to think that it's all part of God's plan, and that someday it will all work out in the end. Some people need their hope and faith (not the TV show, no one needs that)
There's a homeless guy uptown where I work. I always give him some money when I see him. One time he told me that he won't be homeless for the rest of his life, that someday God will help him and get things right. I, being agnostic myself, just nodded. It's probably the only thing that keeps him going in life. So I didn't want to mess with that.
2006-09-13 02:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by Southpaw 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
As Christians we are told:
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things will be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow will take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Matthew 6:33.
Just because this is what we believe doesn't make it easy to do. Some Christians even have a hard time doing this. So, I do agree with you in a sense. Giving someone a point blank answer such as this one and then leaving them to figure and work it out on their own isn't right. As a christian it is our duty to proclaim the word of God, but not shove it down there throats, and he who hears, hears and he who doesn't want to hear, well that is his choice and we must respect that. Now, back to the comforting issue. It is good to give the people the advice you speak of as so annoying. However, that doesn't mean that is all we should say and then leave. Giving people a sermon during a rough time isn't much help, I know. We are to give them what the bible says and then maybe give other words of advice or just sit and listen.
2006-09-13 02:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by wlkonwtr1014 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think giving great advice (when you can) and giving a shoulder to cry on is a really good way to help others deal with things that they are going through. I think Christians and non-Christians both practice this way of thinking - I know I do.
But I am also really careful about the "advice giving" unless it comes from God and His Word - I don't want someone to come back later mad at me because they took my advice and didn't like the way things worked out.
I do think that praying, laying your burdens on the Lord, and drawing closer to Him during your time of need is wonderful advice. But that doesn't mean that one should not seek out other friends to lean on and perhaps even a therapist when necessary. Both of these categories are "real advice" but the bottom line is we must be prepared to deal with the outcome of any situation (as God's will) whether we like the way it turns out or not. I hope that this helps. :)
2006-09-13 02:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by desmartj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a christian but when my world feels like its falling apart I find that talking to someone about your problems really does help. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on and Christians should help out there fellow man other than leave it god that's the point of being a christian in the first place. so no it isn't too much to ask for a bit of advice other than a bit of bible bashing.
2006-09-13 02:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by kandie_kane87 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that people answer as such because they are uncomfortable in the situation and they want to help, but don't know what to say. I do agree that yours is the better choice for support. What you must understand is that part of the Christian belief is that Christians are not perfect. Not everyone has achieved the level of personal growth necessary to support someone in the way you have. I think that as "Christians," you and I should pray for personal growth for these other "Christians."
2006-09-13 02:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by aurora.borealis23 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Sometimes a little practical and meaningful advice is more warranted. Who's to say God didn't direct you to the question in order to give her just that (meaning to give her advice rather than just say 'I'll pray')?! Relying on the good old "I'll pray for you" seems, some of the times, to be just a cover for having no opinion at all. I'm sure God answers your prayers, but he expects ppl to help themselves and others, too.
2006-09-13 02:07:38 · answer #6 · answered by Switch Angel 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
...It is hard to know how to help.
...Some say, "Let go and let God." I cannot support that statement biblically, because a solution to a problem involves God's wisdom and grace, and most often involves practical steps that He wants us to take. "Take hold with God" is more accurate a statement.
...For instance, God expects me to work to eat. If I am between jobs, my full-time job should be finding a job - the Lord expects me to look for and apply for jobs, and He opens/closes the doors to jobs.
...Here are a few good principles to follow.
1. Ask God for wisdom (James 1:5).
2. Pray like everything depends on God, and work like everything depends on you.
3. Figure out what is God's responsibility.
4. Figure out what is my responsibility.
5. Then get busy doing what you know you should.
.....In addition to what has been said,
..give temporary help that you can give, like a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, perhaps a sandwich if the person is hungry.
..Be very cautious is you give away money - most people do not handle it frugally.
..Support the person, but ultimately the person should learn to walk with and depend on God - that is the goal, that one should bear his own load. (see Galations 2:2 & 6)
..Determine if further help/support is needed (doctor, encouragement calls, food) and if it is, do it.
2006-09-13 02:17:43 · answer #7 · answered by carson123 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have noticed this too about Christians, that they push hurting people away with "read your bible" and "pray, pray, pray" or "I'll pray for you."
It doesn't seem to occur to them that according to their own belief system, as Christians they're supposed to be "God's" helpers here on Earth and give practical help to everyone who needs it.
I think most of the dismissive Christians are either very young and inexperienced or "Christians" in name only.
I don't blame you for being incensed. You've got the right idea.
2006-09-13 02:13:58 · answer #8 · answered by Sweetchild Danielle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're absolutely correct. The Bible even criticises those who say "Bless you, sister; bless you, brother" and just go on their way.
This is not how God works. Christians think "All I have to do is pray, and God will work it out" WRONG!
God wants, expects even, Christians to take action. Christianity is a faith that demands action, God always demands a response from us.
You made a very valid comment, (I sure would like you to be in my church)
2006-09-13 02:07:34 · answer #9 · answered by Rude 4 U 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you took us more serious we would take you more serious. You said you never answer nothing serious. Well maybe folks on here know that and figured you was just up to you same old tricks. If you was saved you could have helped this woman your self. If the woman is in need the best advice one can give her is prayer if she is saved, and talk with a preacher. The easy road is the one that leads to God. Why dont you help the woman by giving her the best help there is and tell her about Jesus.
2006-09-13 02:10:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋