Is it all right for a dude to date his bud's ex. girl-friend?If so, when? Do you tell your bud? If so, how?

Question

So your in this weird love tri-angle, where you like your friend's girl right, and your pretty sure she likes you too. But you never told her or acted on that feeling because she was with him. Now that they've broken up (and their relationship is reeaally over) you find yourself hanging out with her quite a bit. Your bud seems like he still misses her. Do see his ex. and tell him that your seeing her? Do you wait until he's over her? Do you see her but don't tell him? Do say screw her, and the two of you go pick up chicks together? Do you screw your bud over take the babe for yourself? Note his ex. is HOT and she likes you. You can also see yourself with this chick for a long time because you both want the same thing (a long-term relationship, something your bud didn't want with her).

Answer 1

I don´t think that´s ok. I think that´s the ultimate betrayal, and I would never want my friend´s leftovers.

Answer 2

It is never ok to date a current or ex girlfriend of any buds, especially one that you hang with. It's just wrong and makes you look like you enjoy his "sloppy seconds". And always remember this, love comes and goes but friendships last forever. Are you willing to give up on a friendship with your bud for a quick roll in the hay which may or may not turn into anything real??

Answer 3

I have been in your shoes. I started dating my friends ex, now mind you they had been split for over a year, but she's got what they call a psychotic side, which I didn't know about. Anyways, she flew off the handle and won't speak to me anymore. And worse, she is trying to use their daughter against him, just because she tried for 5 years to get him to marry her, and he never would because they had absolutely nothing in common except for their daughter, who was the product of a one night stand, turned into a 5 year nightmare.Their relationship was really over, but you never know how some people will react. We were married in June of this year, and couldn't be happier. So if you two have enough in common to make a relationship work, I say go for it, if your friend is truly a friend, he will want you to be happy, no matter who it is with.

Answer 4

Personally, I wouldn't date a friend's ex, it's not worth the friendship.

However, since you asked, I would definitely talk to my friend about it first. Going behind the back is never the way to show someone you care about them. This would show her that you cannot be trusted and you are only after one thing, even if you're not, and show him you are not a true friend.

If you really dig her that much, do it right and things may blosom, do them wrong and it will all come back and haunt you.

If she's that hot, are you sure you're not just thinking with your d***.

Answer 5

Not a good idea. This happened between an ex-friend of mine and an ex-girlfriend of mine. He and I discussed it being a bad idea, but he wanted some action with her. It turned bad, and he has hated me ever since, and wont talk to me anymore. If your friendship means anything, stay away from the girl. There are plenty of other girls out there, not worth losing a good friend over one.

Answer 6

what's incorrect with you? you would possibly want to be ashamed. it fairly is the worst difficulty you would possibly want to do to a ill chum. you do not deserve a woman till you the way in which to handle human beings. so that you've a touch weigh down in this female so that you completely throw your friendship out the window? How might want to you sense contained in the difficulty. you recognize i'm correct. My God. i'm sorry if i'm a touch harsh (and thanks on your courageous service) in spite of the undeniable fact that it fairly is so scary. i'm dropping faith in humanity.

Answer 7

Man, that's a tough one. If he's a true friend I think you need to talk to him and see how he feels about it or it could destroy your friendship. If the friendship isn't that close then go for it. It just sounds like it could get ugly if you do it behind his back. You 2 were friends before she came into the picture right? If so your loyalties lie in your friendship first. Talk to him.

Answer 8

My best friend asked my ex-fiance out on a date a week after we split. She called me and told me because she didn't thnik it was fair he back-stabbed me. We were no longer friends after that.
It made me wonder how long my friend had the "hots" for my girl, could he be trusted in the future, had he hit on her before, was he really a friend ?
So, I guess it's all in where your priorities lie as a friend, but don't be surprised if you lose a good friend out of the deal if you date.

Answer 9

check with your bud and see if hes OK with it all you have to do is go up to him and say "hey i was wondering if it would be OK with you if i dated your ex girlfriend" and you will get an answer. normally i wouldn't just because its not fair to the other friend to see his relationship didn't work and yours did.

Answer 10

yo man check this out. its ok to like your dudes girl b/c u hang out with him and her and all of you probly have things in common. If u really like her you will tell your buddy at a good time. like when he's really happy about something. i've liked plenty of best friends girls i never really dated them b/c i just like to fool around with them and my friend never got mad. He just said that " she justa whore and i could never be mad at my best friend over some dumb bicth" So there is a lesson to learn here. Im, not going to spell it out but im sure you'll pick up a idea from this. So i hope i helped you out so hit me back for some more advice.

Answer 11

That is a definite no. It is an unwritten rule for guys where you should not date your friend's ex. It is just illegal. Even if you told him, he's most likely going to lie to you and say it's okay, but probably deep down inside, he wants to kill you. I just feel that it is wrong to do that.