2006-09-13 00:55:14 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother.
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2) How do you embarrass an archeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.
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3) What's the difference between a b*tch and a wh*re?
A wh*re sleeps with everybody at the party;
A b*tch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
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4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
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5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to call during orgasm.
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8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ***?
A mechanic.
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9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
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10) Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
The one who can eat the last donut.
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11) Jewish dilemma:
Free PORK.
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12) The three words men hate to hear most during sex:
"Are you in?"
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13) The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
"Honey, I'm home!"
2006-09-13 01:09:10 · answer #1 · answered by zaazzy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride. His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle. Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the doctor to get some advice.
"Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young wife and I can't satisfy her. What can I do?"
The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said in a professional manner, "Try a bit of self-stimulation before having intercourse with your wife and you'll find that you'll last longer and ultimately satisfy her."
"Okay, Doctor. If you think that will help."
Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at work to let him know that she would be attacking him at the front door when he arrived home. "Be prepared, my darling, I'm going to ravish you," she cooed over the phone.
Undaunted, the man decided to follow the doctor's advice. But where? In the office? The Xerox room? What if someone walked in on him? He got in his truck and began the journey home. Soon he decided he would find a spot on the road to pull over, climb under the truck and pretend to be inspecting the rear axle, and do the deed there. A moment later, he pulled over, crawled beneath the truck, closed his eyes tightly, fantasized about his young wife, and began his "therapy."
A few minutes later, just as he was about to complete his therapy session, he felt someone tugging on his pants leg. Keeping his eyes tightly shut to avoid ruining the fantasy he was enjoying, he said, "Yes?"
"Sir, I'm with the Police Department. Could you tell me what you are doing, please?"
"Yes, officer, I'm inspecting my truck's rear axle," he replied confidently.
"Well, you should've checked the brakes, your truck rolled down the hill a few minutes ago."
2006-09-13 08:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
some what? sex or jokes?
2006-09-13 01:16:57 · answer #3 · answered by TONI L F 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Uh..HA HA?
2006-09-13 02:24:17 · answer #4 · answered by ezachowski 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋