tell me how to control my toddler?

Question

on being a great single parent

Answer 1

"control" and "toddler" are mutually exclusive concepts, LOL!

Just kidding. The trick is to be firm, and consistent. Do not say that something is ok one day and then have a problem with it another day. If you use time out, use it for the same length of time each time, and for the same behaviours.

Distracting them works well too, divert attention to something else.

Choose your battles.

It's not that hard, just be patient, and guide by example.

Answer 2

When I became a single parent the first thing I noticed is that I was letting my little one get away with anything. I felt so guilty that his dad wasn't around that I didn't want to upset him anymore by punishment. Huge mistake! I realised the first thing I had to do was let him know that I was still the boss, still in control. With toddlers the answer is in following through. If you tell them no with something make sure they know you mean no. That if they cry or whine that you WILL NOT cave. If you tell them to do something make them follow through with it the first time. They start raising their voice and being mean to you, because maybe they were use to seeing daddy do that and think it's ok to do what daddy did, make sure you put your foot down and end it then and there. It's ok to put a little fear and respect into them. Fear meaning that they WILL get a punishment, be it timeout or spanking, I'm so for spanking. My mom used spanking and yes it put fear in me but I was afraid to step out of line. Kids need that to think about so they'll think about their actions better. Toddlers are at a stage where they are learning their boundries with people not just you everyone. If you are firm and stick to your guns, which is hard at this age, then when they are a little older it will pay off big time. Mine is four now and he's a little gentleman. It was hard but I stuck to what I believed for myself and for the best interest of my son and it's a blessing.

Answer 3

watch super nanny she has great ideas. Make sure you make a routine for your baby. don't give in to crying demands, never, or the baby will always do this to you when you are in public. When my son was 3 I was buying him a whole bunch of stuff for his room. He had a fit because he wanted a lollipop. I said no. He kept crying in the line at a store. I told the cashier I am sorry I have to leave everything because jon is behaving badly. Jon kept crying as I left the store. I didn't lose my temper I just kept saying because you are crying and behaving badly you weren't able to get all those nice things for your room just because you wanted one lollipop. After that he tried a couple of more times. I always did the same thing until one day it finally ended. He asked me mom do you have enough money for me to get this? (in his own baby words) It was so cute. He totally learned a new way of getting things that he wanted without screaming. Not always did I say yes, and then he would say "maybe next time mommy?" Hey it worked. He's 20 yrs old now and everyone says wow what a wonderful young man you have for a son. When I was raising him people would say "You are too strict and you treat him like if he was an adult. I definately did the right thing. WOW DO I TALK ALOT OR WHAT ? lol

Answer 4

Boy, that is a hard one. How old is your toddler? Before 18 months, they really can't grasp concepts. They do understand "No", though, so use it. Don't be afraid to raise your voice to get his attention. If you scream all the time though they'll just tune you out. It's a balance. Gotta try and find one. If you believe in spanking, you could try some very, very light swats. It really all depends on how old your child is. You shouldn't spank a very young toddler. Around two or so you could maybe pop them on the hand, things like that. With a toddler, this should only be used to deter them from dangerous behavior like trying to play with the plugs in the wall or something. Better to get popped on the hand than to get shocked. It is really counter-productive to try to "talk" to a child under say, 2 and a half. They don't understand very much. They understand "No" and things like that. Other than that, you can try to redirect their attention when they are doing something wrong or dangerous. This works well. If they keep pulling on the TV and you're afraid they'll pull it down and you've pulled them away like 500 times, give them something else to do. Just don't be afraid to set limits and use discipline (discipline, not frustrated lashing out). They need it very much at this age. If they don't listen to you, they could run into the road or fall down stairs or anything. And hang in there, Mom. It gets a little easier after about 3.

Answer 5

I am also the single parent of a child just reaching the toddler stage. I try to react as calmly to my out-of-control toddler as possible. If you get upset or tense, it only intensifies the child's feelings. Don't let incessent screaming or whining upset you. Also, I saw on a Nanny show once that if you get down to their level, look them straight in the face, and calmly tell them that they are acting inappropirately and need to cut it out, that helps. [However, there is really no way to completely "control" your toddler, and all of this is easier said than done. Because, afterall, she/he is their own little person and in control of him/herself!] Happy parenting!!

Answer 6

I was a single parent to 2 children and a toddler can NOT be controlled...PERIOD!! AND you can TRY like hell to be the GREAT SINGLE PARENT..but you'll fall short like WE ALL DO!!

Toddlers are exploring and learning that they can do things for themselves...as long as they are not hurting themself or others...let them be little ..cause it's only for a little while!

Answer 7

children are like sponges and soak up all information around them,,if they cry and fit throw then you give in to their demands,and that is what they are,,the child learns,,'ok,,if i stamp hard enough for about half an hour,,she gives in and i get my way' so the next time you say ,no,,they do the half hour stamp and only when you still refuse to give in will they try something else,,tell them how you want them to behave and make the lines of behaviour clear,you let the child know what is acceptable and what most definitely isn't,,reward with praise,,attention,small gifts if they really have done well but do not give in to tantrums,,once learned it will be used until they get older and they find they cannot control their temper because they cannot understand why they cant get what they want,,,be very clear with instructions,,if out shopping make a deal,,tell the child where you are going and how he is to behave and what will happen if he doesn't,,do try to keep him occupied though as children get bored quickly and you will go far with talking,involvement,inclusion and fun, if the child does not behave there must be consequences and you must go through with them,,he learned to fit throw he can learn to listen too,,you are the mother not the child and always make sure they understand that.

Answer 8

You can't by controlling your toddler. You can try to change the environment though, control everything else, things that can interest your toddler into following you, into eating lunch, into getting into the shower, into peeing in the right place, into drawing on paper instead of walls.

Well then add a little control now and then. But not all at once.

Answer 9

There are no "great" parents period. Just human ones. The only way to "control" a child is to set rules right from the beginning. Those rules have to deal with your values and morals. Stop focusing on being a "great" parent and just parent your child.

Answer 10

Best of luck to you, if your are looking to "control" your child...
I have yet to meet a child, teenager, or young adult who is "controlled".

Regardless if your child is a toddler, adolescent, teenager, or young adult, consistency should be your "golden rule" as a parent.
There will never be a time that your child will not be testing your limits or rules. I can assure you that...

Be Consistent... (Yes, is hard at times!) ... in choices you make for rules, discipline, & values.

It is also important that you choose childcare providers & schools that are "like minded" to your rules & values.
It is defeating for you, childcare providers, or educators if you each have different ideas for rules, discipline, & values.
(It may also be confusing for the child if one says "ok" & another says "no".)

Any & all mistakes I feel we have made as parents all boil down to that word "consistency".

Best of Luck