how to cope with losing my dad to cancer?

Answer 1

Its hard.i lost my dad 9 months ago due to cancer. he had been diagnosed and 2 months later he had died. You go through so many emotions of grief. I was very angry with the dr that told my dad that they could operate on him only for him to find out that it had spread and the tumor was to big to operate. i found that talking to my family helped i even went for councilling as you can talk to somebody that doesnt know you and you can really let things of your chest and not feel you are being judged by it. you go through feeling guilty like you wished you could of done more for them anger why them cancer is a very cruel disease.
if you feel like crying have a damn good cry you will feel better after it it wont take your pain away though. i would surgest going to your gp to ask about some councilling as it helped me at the time i didnt think it would but in a strange way it does. remember the good times you had and talk to people that you are close with about your dad just cause they have died doesnt mean you cant talk about them. it is hard when you have the 1st of everything but with support you will get through it.wishing you all the best

Answer 2

When I read your question I thought you had already lost your dad but some answers assume otherwise.

Accept you are going through a difficult time and cut yourself some slack, in other words, do not be too hard on yourself and make allowances for the fact this is a difficult time. In grief you may find yourself doing something stupid. Acknowledge and accept that it IS grief making you act like that. True friends will know where you are and what you are going through.

Do not be afraid to grieve. There will be plenty telling you to pull yourself together but if you do not take time to grieve now then it will come back at you sometime in the future. So much depends on your personal circumstances and who you are. If you are an emotional person you will find yourself crying over the slightest thing - try to let that grief out but without knowing you it is hard to say how this is best. If you need to be 'normal' during your working day try and find time on your own to remember your dad and grieve.

I am sorry you are going through this difficult time. Find a forum where you can talk honestly about how you are feeling and get some of the feelings out that way.

When you are ready to move on, do so but make sure you are moving at your pace and not someone else's!

Good luck.

Answer 3

I am sorry for your loss.

I went through the same thing although it is ten yrs ago now.
All I can say is that it does get easier, I know it may not seem that way now but it does.
Talking is essential don't keep your feelings to yourself, cry if you want laugh, scream shout if you want just don't keep it inside, share you thoughts and feelings with other family members or friends.

I found it best to talk about dad and remember all the funny things he did and said. The bad start to disappear.

There are no set rules to the mourning process, but we all have to take the journey through, remember many have gone before you, and others are at the same point, we all mourn differently.

I tried to think how hurt dad would be if he thought his passing stopped me from carrying on my life, that usually triggered me into action.

I hope this has helped you a little, I send my prayers and thoughts to you and all your family.

Answer 4

Im so sorry about your loss, I cant even begin to imagine how you must be feeling as I am very close to my dad and would be so lost without him. All I can say is that when I do lose him, I know that I will try to stay focused and think about all the good times we had together. I know it will be very hard for you and you will never get over this but I can say that time is a great healer and your dad will want you to be happy im sure. I hope this helps x x

Answer 5

Sorry to hear that. I lost mine to cancer as well.
It's sad but if you have other family members I am sure they feel the same way as well. I found it helped talking to others about it (in my own family), and if that was too tough there are support groups in most places as well as online. Look up your local cancer society on the internet and often support groups are tied in with that. Also your own doctor will have some info about support groups as will the receptionist there. Remember the good times you had with your Dad they will help you get through.

Here's a good site as well.
http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Resourcessupport/Advancedcancer/Dyingwithcancer/Copingwiththenews

Answer 6

Losing a loved one is a very traumatic event in your life and very stressful. If you feel that you need some help in coping, join a cancer support group for people that have lost a loved one to cancer. There are many of them. There is no stigma in asking for help. If you can't find one close to your home, there are many online support groups that you can join for free.

Answer 7

Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear this.

What you must be going through is very difficult, and I think the best advice anyone can give is take it one day at a time. We all handle grief differently, so for me to say "go out more" or something may be the wrong advice for your personally. You may have to be a pillar of strength to your mother and/or other family members, and they in turn will do this for you. Take it slowly, and remember that he is no longer suffering, and would want you to go on with your life.

I hope this helps x

Answer 8

So sorry hon!
That is a toughie, I also lost my dad.
We "coped" by seeing that his every last moment with us was filled with love and to seeing to his comfort, which was more of a comfort to me than anything else.
We talked about everything and anything, no holding back. He was ready to move on even though it broke our hearts, we understood it was what was best for him. We also took comfort in knowing he is no longer suffering and will be waiting when it is our turn to move on.
God Bless sweetie!
And remember it is OK to get mad, cry,have fits,and act irratioanlly that is part of the grieving process, just try to not hurt yourself or others when doing it!

Answer 9

It will be hard and you will miss him so bad, but you will cope and day by day it will get less raw and less painful. And you will go on living and don't feel guilty about that. Remember him how he was and not at the end when he was very ill.
Talk with others who knew him and share and celebrate his life. You are strong and you will cope.

Answer 10

I hear you, but during the course of your life you're going to lose lots of people. My father died of a heart attack when I was 17 - I was fully trained in St. John's Amulance techniques (for the overseas ppl, this is like a junior, amateur paramedic).

I knew how to keep him alive for long enough to the ambulance to arrive, but my mind went blank - shock I guess. If it had been a complete stranger i would've just got on with the task at hand.

The hurt you're feeling will go away eventually, but not the love you have for your Dad.

Chin up.