2006-09-12 22:50:37 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Three tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there. When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "OK Les give me the bottle opener". "I didn't bring it" says Les. "I thought you packed it". Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??" Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts:
"I KNEW IT...... I'M NOT GOING NOW!"
2006-09-12 23:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by J W 2 · 8⤊ 0⤋
I dont know about the funniest joke IN THE WORLD, but i do like these winnie-the-pooh jokes:
Why did piglet look in the toilet?
She was looking for pooh.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a bear?
Winnie the pooh.
2006-09-12 23:32:40 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ уσυ вєℓσηg ωιтн мє ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Howard Dean
2006-09-12 22:54:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now i think life is the funniest joke ever!!!!!
2006-09-12 22:56:21 · answer #4 · answered by kitpoodle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tony Blair, Gordon Brown having a fight
2006-09-12 23:03:33 · answer #5 · answered by BUDDXX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a company is like a tree full of monkeys all on different branches at different levels. the monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces, the monkeys at the bottom look up and see nothing but arseholes.
2006-09-16 06:59:55 · answer #6 · answered by mine of useless information 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
George Bush or Tony Blair.
2006-09-12 23:25:56 · answer #7 · answered by gr_bateman 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Man and a girl in bed together - girl turns to man and says "I think you must be some kind of pervert" man says "what do you know - you're only 6"
2006-09-16 01:33:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doc: Reports have got mixed up. I don't know if ur wife has AIDS or Alzheimer(disease which makes one loose memory)
Man: What shld I do?
Doc: Drop her in the middle of town, if she comes back DON'T F.U.C.K
2006-09-13 00:44:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check the one 4 places below this joke by Pottie, it's FUNNY!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-12 23:37:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋