should parents be able to influence dating decisions?

Question

i am not young, so this isnt a 13 yr old middle school question. im talkin if a 19 yr old chick is dating outside her race and her parents find that inappropriate/unacceptable, should she stop dating that person? what if that chick was my ex gf and she just got up and left me for that reason and 3 yrs later she is engaged w/ a future but is having second thoughts b/c she let her parents make the choice for her when she was younger, does she have a legit reason to come back to me?

Answer 1

Well - then you have more than one issue to consider:
cultural as well as familial pressure from both sides.

I think at 19 you should be treated as an adult capable of making your own decisions.

Under 18 - living in the same household...parents have a lot to say in who their child is dating.

My decision for my children would not be based on culture or race...it would be based on how the prospective date presents themselves...

if my daughters introduce me to a boy whos pants sag off his hips and he greats me with "What up Yo" ...
I don't care what race he is from...if he goes out with my daughter, I will firmly attach his pants to his waist with a nail gun.

if my son brings home a young lady that cracks her gum while she talks and crooks her neck when she argues...
I will send her home...
regardless of race.

to be respected - you have to give respect.
to be accepted - you have to behave in an acceptable manner.

when those two are met...my children can date whome they choose.

Answer 2

There's no definite should and should not, therefore she has to make a personal stand here, because she's entitled to one.

Yes parental decisions are a great influence for relationships to work or not, but that shouldn't stop her from looking for what she really wants, so long as she will not have any regrets after. There will be a lot of issues to work out in interracial and interfaith marriages, is she prepared for it? Is she also prepared for the possible prejudice by other members of her immediate community? Is she willing to work the problems of this relationship with you, and will you be willing to stand by her no matter what? Will she regret what she will be forsaking - the choice made by her parents and a smoother-sailing future, or will she see it instead as a promisingly comfortable life yet unfulfilling one to stand by you?

A lot of questions to be sorted out if you want to be together.