i am 21 years old. i have been with my boyfriend for 7 1/2 years. we never plan to get married because its not in our beliefs but we are commited to each other. i have already achieved the goal of my ideal career and have been doing it for 3 years now. i am very successful but i feel like my life is missing something. i dont want to fix what's not broken but i really would like to have a child. my plan was to have kids from 23-26 so should i wait?
2006-09-12 21:26:51 · 15 answers · asked by nativeprincess1 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think you will know when the time is right for you, and it must be getting close for you, because you are thinking about it, but then again you are only 21 I was 20 when I had my first child I am now 34 and I wished I would have waited ( I would not trade my kids for nothing) I am just more mature, but my oldest is 13, I guess you could say that we matured together! But any way I think you have plenty of time and you do not have to be in a rush you are so young!! and you are right you don't need to fix anything that is not broken! You need not rush into things take a while and figure out what it is that is really missing!!! You are so young and there are so many things that you need to experience, I know that you said that you have meet your goals and I think that is awesome that at 21 you have achieved these things in your life, sounds like you are in a secure relationship, and everything is going great for you some questions you might want to ask your self........Do I want to travel, do I want to own my own home......do I want to achieve these goals before I have a child???? Good Luck!!!!!
2006-09-12 21:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by stormy2u2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been with this guy since you were 14 and you have had your ideal career (not job but career) since you were 19?
I say you are setting your standards a bit low.
Explore some other options with your job (I'll let you decide about the guy - only you know for sure).
You are young put some effort into your life before you put little ones in it.
This answer isn't meant to be mean or snippy.
As an older person who has been around - most everyone who locks in on all of this so young ends up about 20 years thinking "there is more to life than this".
Then starts exploring those options.
Then you are involving kids in those problems.
Do the stuff now, early in your life.
Make some mistakes - that's how you learn and grow.
I think your plan to wait until 23-26 is a good one.
Stick with it, and until then - take some chances, live life!
2006-09-13 08:42:47 · answer #2 · answered by Freeadviceisworthwhatyoupayfor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never a perfect time to have kids. If you and your partner are ready then go for it!! Because if you keep waiting for the right time, then the best time could pass you by. I had my first child when I was 19 and my second at 22 and I wouldnt change what I did for anything in the world.
2006-09-13 04:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by sexydragonfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i plan to have kids when i get a career and ready for the responsibility. i dont set an age just goals. talk to your partner. if you both are ready for the next step in becoming a bigger family go for it. theres never going to be a time where it feels like everything is perfect but when having a child you have to be 100% ready
2006-09-13 04:30:59 · answer #4 · answered by Jaime 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you should wait! Do you think a baby will make your life complete! What if you had the baby and it doesn't, what next! having a baby is a big step. Your still young live your life first because as soon as that baby gets in that home he/she will be top priority! All your wants will go out the window because your taking care of the childs needs! So be very carefull with that!
2006-09-13 04:37:32 · answer #5 · answered by Black Betty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first things first. firstly you and your boyfriend has to decide on your "relasionship". if it is "commitment" that your boyfriend is fearing or something else?it is not wise to bring a child into a trouble relasionship. figure out your relasionship first then try to grow a family.a child should have a loving home, a mom and dad, a stable parent and a secusre atmosphere. any child growing up in an atmosphere where one of his parent is a "non commited dad",will feel insecure and sad. dont bring a child into incsecurity.
2006-09-13 05:21:18 · answer #6 · answered by atahsina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,i'm an italian boy and my english is not very good,but i say you that you have to wait if you love he.the most important thing is that you stay with he and you don't have to do in hurry for the child,when is the moment the child become,now you are a bit young and maybe now you can't do enough for your child,but i think that you have to wait.I hope that you understand something, bye
2006-09-13 05:38:42 · answer #7 · answered by MARCO Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's never a good time to have children, so if you both feel comfortable and confident about making the decision now, then do go for it, there's no real reason to wait. Good luck.
2006-09-13 04:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by emily_jane2379 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that there is not a certain age. As long as you are mature enough to handle the responsibilities then go for it. Children are a blessing to have. Good luck to you.
2006-09-13 05:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by anje_s2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The idea to have a child is good. But, there must be a reason for your first decission. What was that? could you balance your plan and your current interest? if yes, then do it.
2006-09-13 04:37:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋