help me!!!!i am sooo embarressed!!!!?

Question

my 5 year old son cries at school everyday. he is in a new class and misses the old teachers, students. but he misses me mostly. i gave him a picture of me to carry to class. but he still cries and today the other children were telling me that,'your son always cries". i felt so embarressed. i told my son that i will give him candies and toys if he stops crying. but no use. this has been comtinuing for a month.i have talked to the teacher but with no help. i tell him that i will come for him everyday but he says he misses me , thaTS WHY HE CRIES. please help me.

Answer 1

it is natural,just akid,explain the siuation to your son

Answer 2

My child was extra sensitive too.
I gave her a picture of me to carry, and I let her wear my watch to school.
I always have my watch on - so it was like a piece of me was with her, and I put a little mark on it so she could tell how long until she would see me again.
I would try and pop in for lunch once in a while (which ended up helping my younger daughter because by the time she went to school it was a very familiar place).
At the dinner table each night Daddy would ask her to name three things she liked about school that day.
Sometimes the answers were lunch, recess, and the bell ringing to go home.
For a few times we would accept that, but then we would ask her to think of things during class too.
After a couple of months or so things got better.
The beginning of each school year starts about the same, but the time frame for her to be upset has gotten less and less.
She started middle school this year and on the first two days the kids at lunch were talking about their moms, she missed me so much she had to go to the nurses office so she wouldn't cry.
It is now the second week and she doesn't even think about me during the day.
It get's better.
Don't offer to buy him candy or toys - he is still to little to go a whole day for gratification.
Bribes like that usually only work for an hour (be good in the grocery store and you can pick something in the checkout lane).
Let him get involved in the problem solving, ask what would make him feel better.
If he cries, hug him and let him know that you have faith in him and tomorrow will be better.
Set little goals, see if you can keep it in until first break, then lunch, then afternoon break, then all the way until you get home.
When the other kids tell you that your son is crying, they are looking to see if crying is okay.
If you get upset with him - they will be too because his mom is.
If you just use a sympathetic voice and say something like "oh I feel so sad for him that he misses me so much. Can you help me out by being his friend so he won't be so lonely?" or you could try asking the other kids "what helps you when you miss your mommy? - maybe that will help Johnny too"
I have found that the kids, and even the teacher will take their cue from you.
I know that it breaks your heart, hang in there you are not alone, and this too shall pass.

Answer 3

Wow that is hard. I have 2 little boys 3 & 5 yrs old. I am a single father. It's just us three. Don't be embarassed. You're not causing your son to cry. You just want the best for him I'm sure. For a long time I took my sons to daycare and the baby would cry. That's when he was 1 and 2 yrs old. But ONLY at the door as I dropped them off. He would stop soon after. I always assured him that daddy will be back. My daycare providers also helped me each day by reassuring my son I would be back after work to pick him up. My situation is different from yours because my youngest had his brother with him everyday, which was half the battle. I Just kept reassuring him. I suggest possibly talking to another mother at his school with a child his age, that could become a friend outside of school as well as in school. Then at least he would always know a buddy was waiting for him at school each day. Or maybe ( if it's an option )try some weekends where you leave him at a relatives house for a day. Assuring him that you'll be back later. So that he can be in a FAMILY atmosphere while learning that you will always come back, and not have to be with strangers all day in school to learn that lesson. I tried that and it worked for me. He stayed with grandpa and grandma. I feel for your son. Bless his heart. Don't worry...you're doing JUST FINE. Love always finds a way. Hope I helped. :)

Answer 4

Time and patience are the only cure for this problem. As soon as your son realizes a change in his daily routine must be, he'll get over the infant behavior.

I don't mean to compare your son to an animal, but small puppies have the same problem when they're removed from the litter. It's the loss of their security blanket that distresses them. As soon as they become accustomed to the new surroundings and new friends to play with,, they're ok. Don't prolong the issue by keeping his hopes up that "mommy" will come to the rescue. Let him grow, and reward him for achievements, and don't use bribes to get him to behave. He'll keep expecting them, from now on.

Answer 5

Quit trying to bribe him. He will get over this. What do you have to be embarassed about? He is a little kid, he is going to react to changes the way little kids react. Some are better at coping than others it's nothing for YOU to be embarassed about. When you take him to school give him a hug good bye then LEAVE. Then when you come to pick him up give him a hug and do NOT make an issue out of his day. Do not bring up his crying do not ASK him if he cried. DROP it. If you don't bring it up he won't and things will go smoothly.

Answer 6

YOUR son will be just fine, he is going to cry cause he had 4 yrs with you and now he is a big boy and has to go to school, he will stop cring when gets used to you not being there all the time.. DONT give him candy and toys cause that is not teaching him anything but mom will buy him something everytime he cries.. just tell him he is a big boy and he will be fine while he is at school and you will see him when it is time for him to come home and that you love him and he should and will be fine, just give it time.. this is a scary year for him.. it gets better , i just went through this 2 yrs ago with mine

Answer 7

you have to take back control. You are the parent and you have one manipulative little boy here. Some children do not cope very well with separation from parents but i feel that you are fueling this by giving him a picture to take to school, whats all that about. It could be that its you who has the problem with letting your child go, do you have any other children? He has to grow up and socialize, it is an important part of his development. Stop the bribes and just give him a kiss and leave he will soon realise that he is not getting the desired attention and stop. If you don't perservere with this you will have an even bigger problem later.

Answer 8

You're embarrassed by this? I'm sure that attitude isn't helping him. That's a pretty sh!tty attitude to have about it. He's just a little kid. Trying to bribe him isn't going to work; in fact, offering candy and treats as a reward for good behavior causes poor eating habits and contributes to eating disorders later in life. He needs to learn that he can take care of himself and to be more independant. It's hard to do but you just have to let him work it out himself. Be there for him and support him but don't baby him. That's probably why he acts like that to begin with. I would assume if you are embarrassed when he cries, you probably give him whatever he wants if he cries, especially in a public place. He's just doing what he's been taught: if he cries he will eventually get what he wants. You can stop that now if you really want to.

Answer 9

you shouldn't be embarrassed,you should focus on the REASON for his crying and clinging to mommy behavour instead. Obviously its his problem so help him deal with it by talking with him like a young adult. kids will listen better if you stop talikng to them in third person and rationalize the issue to them. Im going out on a limb here and guess hes the child of a divorce or there has never been a daddy around. Maybe he has fears of abandanment. But the toys and candy thing a HUGE mistake! I would find a book on the subject and read it till you get it

Answer 10

My son did the same thing when he started pre k. Don't bribe him. I sent my son to school with his favorite matchbox toy car that he could keep in his pocket. I think that it made him feel more secure. When you drop him off, reassure him that you will be there to pick him up after school. He will eventually get over it. You shouldn't have anything to feel embarrassed about. It happens to alot of kids.

Answer 11

I was the same way when I started school I would miss my mom and I would start to cry. My mother was at wits end to what to do with me. Finally my mother gave me a little doll she told me everyime I miss her just hug my doll i would be like she is there with me. It seems to work i never cried again I just got used to school.