Women: if you ask a guy out, you offer to pay and he lets you, would you think he's cheap? Would you be willing to date him again? What if he says, "let's split the bill?" Would you still be insulted that he didn't pay for you?
Personally I'm a guy, and I think that if you offer to pay (especially if you asked him out) then you should be willing to. What do the rest of you think?
2006-09-12 20:12:15 · 26 answers · asked by john 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'm a woman and when I asked somebody and offered to pay, I really meant it. I did meet men who wanted to pay anyway, but I really didn't like that. I enjoyed taking this person out on my treat. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked. So no, I wouldn't think it's cheap if a guy accepted my offer. I ASKED HIM OUT AND OFFERED TO PAY. How could I be insulted if the guy gladly accepted? If someone asked me out, and offered to pay, I would accept it too. If I offered to pay and he insisted on splitting the bill, I would not be insulted either, but I would have liked it better if I just paid the bill alone. Sometimes you just want to treat somebody to a nice diner don't you?
2006-09-12 20:57:33 · answer #1 · answered by chocolatebunny 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the fellow who ASKS, will pay for the date. And NO! some adult men imagine that in the journey that they positioned money right into a lady, meaning she has to positioned out or kiss him. it really is REDICULOUS!!! do not take heed to that tacky grit. If a guy thinks that way, he's a LOSER! RUN!...Romance takes time to develop. do not ever enable a guy communicate you into doing something you merely don't sense is ideal, for YOU. an excellent variety of human beings have sex on their first date yet seem at what cost....Their attractiveness. about going dutch. once you've all started progression a courting and neither of you've an excellent variety of money, pass dutch.(He will pay for himself and also you pay on your man or woman). I blanketed this because an excellent variety of human beings imagine going dutch potential splitting the bill or value 50-50. that's no longer. 50-50 is called splitting the verify. it quite is a strong theory so you might pay for the 2d date, even if if HE asks YOU. until eventually ofcourse that's totally intense priced(and he knows you won't be able to have the funds for that). That merely potential he quite likes you a lot that money isn't even an concern. length the placement up. How fat are your and his funds?
2016-10-16 00:26:43 · answer #2 · answered by fenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't think he's cheap at all. I would be pleased (& relieved!) if a guy could accept gracefully in the same generous spirit. A lot of women I know (& me) would be really turned off by someone who 'insists'. It's like a guy insisting that he buys you a drink because he needs one, or wants to show that you're with him - it gives the wrong message of marking territory & lacking in confidence.
To get to know someone, outside of a group, someone's got to make a start by speaking up & asking! It should all be about giving & accepting - if we can't do both, why would we date anyway? : )
I think you're right to say that if a woman asks & it's her treat, that's fine for you to accept in good faith.
If you like her, it works out, & you would like to see her again, you have nothing to lose & can plan to return the compliment & call her to ask her out in turn.
If not, you can simply thank her for a good night out, wish her luck in a friendly way with her plans or whatever was discussed, and not make any false promises to get together again. I think the main thing in that case would be to avoid saying "See you" "We must do this again" instead of Goodbye or goodnight. You shouldn't feel that you are obliged to date her again, but you can act friendly without being too friendly!
It could also be that if she had a bad experience - maybe a date with some guy who thought he was buying a night in bed along with his dinner - she might feel it is more honest to start off on a more equal footing to get to know a person.
2006-09-13 01:58:43 · answer #3 · answered by WomanWhoReads 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a woman asks a man out, offers to pay, and you let her, you are respecting her right to be your equal in all areas. If she thinks you're cheap then you are probably better off with out her. A woman who does that and doesn't really want to pay is playing games and that's crap. It's time we all grew up and stopped messing with people's heads. And if you women out there are getting upset, sorry, I'm a woman too. If I ask, I pay. If he asks, he pays. Isn't that what being treated as equals means? Can't have it both ways, folks!!
2006-09-12 22:38:10 · answer #4 · answered by one_4pax 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the woman invites and the woman offers to pay, then the woman should pay without thinking the man is cheap. If the man invites, and the woman offers to pay, he should decline the offer, as she is just being polite.
2006-09-13 03:56:33 · answer #5 · answered by JenV 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First time is ok..but if he does that everytime I would say he's cheap and just taking advantage on you. Like for me I will not say anything but will just take out my purse ready to pay but of course hoping that he say "never mind, it's my treat!"
Split the bill? No! That's cheap to me! Because it shows that the guy only think of themselves. It's either me or you..no split! If he offers to split i'll say "nevermind! i'll pay!"
2006-09-12 22:29:13 · answer #6 · answered by betty boo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age if the woman asks for the date and wants to pay, it would be offensive to insist on paying after her decline of first offer to pay. To resolve the situation you could offer to leave the tip and then buy after dinner drinks or movie. If you continually let her pay and do not take turns on future dates, helloo el cheapo/ gigalo.
2006-09-13 02:25:15 · answer #7 · answered by kellring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What type of woman do you want? Do you want a woman who is going to always take the lead and ask you out and pay for everything? This would be a woman who is more of a femminist and believes in "equality" in the sexes. If you want a woman who is going to take a more traditional role, then you would be asking her out and would be expected to pay. Once you are bf and gf then you would probably take turns paying in either case. Just depends on what type of woman you want.
2006-09-12 20:26:25 · answer #8 · answered by MOPALIA 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. She did the inviting, and she should expect to pay. Of course, he can offer to help with the bill, but need not press the matter. He can pay when he asks her out.
2006-09-12 20:19:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I ask a guy out, I am assuming to pay. Why would that make him cheap?
If the guy asks the girl out, and she expects him to pay no one calls her cheap.
If they hit it off and continue to see each other, then maybe some ground rules can come up about who should pay and when.
2006-09-12 21:09:07 · answer #10 · answered by busybody12 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋