I live in the State of California. I've been told by my best friend who grew up with a single parent and he rarely seens his father, has said I'm ****** stuck and can't get out of paying child support. Courts always go in favor of the mother. I'm proven to be the father of a newborn baby but i'm not ready to be a father. I can barely hold down a steady job. I'm 25. The mother is filing for sole custody, and child support. Even if I give up my rights and say I want no visits I still have to pay child support. Why do us guys get the short end of the stick?
2006-09-12 19:26:29 · 21 answers · asked by Andy S 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
is there anyway possible in getting out of child support?
2006-09-12 19:27:02 · update #1
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If you have a child, educate, love, and support him/her through anything. If not you will cause great pain and suffering throughout someone's life. And push that child down a path of drugs and/or prostitution. Not to mention the social behavior problems that are guaranteed to surface on that kid that will get passed down onto future generations.
Be a man, be a father that loves his kids.
2006-09-12 19:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by Jose Esoj 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are stuck with it and no matter what you hear the courts DO favor the mother not the child!,if they favored the child they wouldnt make child support so high that fathers cannot even afford the gas it takes to see them or have any money left to have fun with them once they do! I have 4 children.My wife gets a boyfriend, out I go and then sacked by the court system for child
support. Some.woman love this right and use it to punish the one she was with for God only knows what reason.. put one in my shoes and watch them scream out loud. I was an awesome dad was always faithful as a matter a fact I raised her child(who I call my own as well) since 2 months old when she was cheated on and the guy left her. I tried to be with my children as much as possible and bang here I am.people don't really want to look at the system because if they did they would see the UNBELIEVABLE WRONG in it and have to fix it the payments are outrageous .So my advice have no more children and be prepared for a storm it doesnt get any better atleast till the child is 18 (so I hear) pay the support or they will levy your bank account /any checks and take any money you have and they can also put you in jail for contempt which is another bullcrap thing because anyone who has a little understanding about what contempt of court is knows that not having the ability to pay is not called contempt,There are lots of Fathers who loved their kids that are in jail because they really couldnt afford to pay lots were actually making payments but not the court ordered amount! yet the witch hunting media make it seem like fathers are hiding 100s of thousands of dollars from their poor starving children..maybe 1 out of 10,000 has done this but please!! people fall right into this BIG FAT LIE.Why arent the Lawyers all over this bogus contempt charge crap?? My X makes way more than me, I cannot afford an apartment by myself,I have to have a roomate and I can barely pay half LOL!!
2006-09-15 02:32:03 · answer #2 · answered by Lan D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think having to fork over a few dollars every month is the short end of the stick maybe you should consider what YOUR baby's mother will be doing with her time. Up all night feeding and changing, dealing with fevers and nightmares and trying to figure out daycare so she can also work and support this baby she has chosen to keep. Then again she will get all the smiles, all the hugs and all of the I love you's -all the memories. 25 is old enough to get it together. Whether or not you and the mother are together you helped make that baby and financial responsibility isn't the only one you have. I had my first child at 18- his father and I split up shortly after, he was also 18. He has unfailingly paid support and seen him regularly. He calls him and stays involved and I have sole custody. Just because the baby lives with it's mother doesn't mean you can't be involved- you were grown up enough to make this baby now you need to grow up enough to take care of it. You won't be 25 forever and you can't walk away for years until YOU feel ready and then change your mind and show up- it isn't good for anyone. Spend some time with that baby and think really hard before you make a permanent decision to abandon it. You will likely have to deal with a hostile mother for a while because by your attitude I would say you have hurt her deeply and she will not be very receptive. It doesn't matter- prove you are there for the baby - that is your main priority. Everything else will fall into place. Apologizing for your insensitiveness might not hurt either. If you decide to be there for your child explain to the mother you were scared of this responsibility but you will try. Good luck
2006-09-13 03:25:21 · answer #3 · answered by therealprinsess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there isn't... you made half the baby so you are responsible for supporting that baby until that child is 18. If you didn't want to be a daddy you should not have had sex... NO birth control is 100% effective.... And don't you think its a little immature with the woe is me short end of the stick? What about the baby? This isnt the baby's fault so why should he/she suffer? At 25 you should be able to hold down a job and be responsible.
2006-09-12 19:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are stuck.. You should have thought about that before you took your penis out of your pants. You play you pay buddy..
guys don't get the short end of the stick. Stop being so selfish. This girl had to carry your bastard child for nine months and now she has to raise it on her own without any physical help from you, having to answer questions like "wheres daddy why doesn't he love me" and you want to complain about paying some child support. Your 25 grow up! Children need thier father more than guys like you tend to think.
My boyfriend is 19 and we are expecting a baby any day now. 6 years younger and he is ten times the man you are. He has been there every step of the pregnancy even when I lost my job he supported me and the baby. Glad I got lucky and got a decent man.. I feel sorry for the poor girl you knocked uip..
2006-09-12 23:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by ashez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's completely wrong. By the way, I'm always so appalled by the response that the guy should wear a rubber. As if it's the man's responsibility to make sure the woman doesn't get pregnant. Rubbers can fail. WOMEN are the ones capable of becoming pregnant. That makes it their sole responsibility. Men should not be liable for a woman's irresponsibility with their own body.
A man should only be responsible to parent a child through his express written consent. You know what the result would be? A lot less pregnancy. Oh, that's right ladies.... I said it. You are responsible for your pregnancy. It's a fact. Blaming a man for your failure and lack of planning is just as wrong as you can get. AND if a woman chooses to become pregnant whether intentional or though their own shameful failure to prevent it, that was their choice...
America, stop treating children as profit centers for the welfare system. Oh, you mean you didn't know? Each state gets a percentage of federal funding for their welfare system based on the quantity of money passing though that system. What does it mean? It means the system welcomes the situation of forcing a man to become an unwilling parent. It also ensures that the child is most often given to the parent LESS financially capable of caring for the child. If men weren't so busy working and slaving to earn and succeed we would band together and shut this crap down for good.
Does this mean I don't believe a man should be a responsible parent? I have custody of my child. I saw the injustice in the system during my struggle to ensure the protection of my son and realized the truth. This system is not designed for the benefit of a child. Forcing unwilling men to be fathers perpetuates this disgusting and CORRUPT system.
2006-09-12 20:14:42 · answer #6 · answered by JDOGG 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should discuss the option of putting your child up for adoption.
Child support sucks, and courts to do rule in favor of women to often. You may also want to enlist a lawyer, this small investment can save you a load of money in child support over the next 18 years.
It would be really great if you could get shared custody, in a way in which you do not have to pay child support. In a few years, the child will be easy to look after, and the cost of an occassional baby sitter is much cheaper than child support.
Perhaps after you get shared custody, you can work out a deal to have her take care of the baby for the first year exclusively, then later become more involved.
But to reiterate, in order of importance: Adoption, Lawyer, shared custody to beat child support.
PS.
Also shame on all those people who are berating you about birth control. BIRTH CONTROL IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BOTH MALES AND FEMALES. To everyone else, do not discriminate against him simply because he is male.
2006-09-12 20:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by Greg S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, i'm not a guy, so you may not want to read what i have. But i do know what it is like not to have a dad. Being a father or mother is tough, very tough if your not read. But who really is. Giving your rights away to see your kid may seem ok now, but in 10 years, you may regret it. Yeah paying child support s*cks, and try to fight it to a certain extent, but you should really think about this kid in 4 - 8 years time who says, "Where is daddy?" Having a connection now may just make a stronger person and a bigger man our of you. Either way, don't listen to your mates. Speak to some one who knows the joy of parenting, and seriously think before you make any judgement. I'm willing to chat. Anyway thats my cents worth.
2006-09-12 19:38:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's not always true one thing no offense, you both wanted to stick it, your both at fault here, not just you, but her too. Now my advice,do not give up custodial rights, because one day you will want to bein that childs life and you'll regret and think about this way, no matter what you will have to pay child support, you could always wait to be around the child until your a little older, or ready.
http://www.calbar.ca.gov/state/calbar/calbar_generic.jsp?sImagePath=Hiring_A_Lawyer.gif&sCategoryPath=/Home/Public%20Services/Consumer%20Information/Pamphlets&sHeading=Hiring%20a%20Lawyer&sFileType=HTML&sCatHtmlPath=html/Home_Public-Services_Consumer-Information_Pamphlets_hire-lawyer.html
On the other hand you could take custody of the child and make the women pay child support, Talk to a lawyer see what they can do for you and yes the link above is for a lawyer.
Sorry I could not help you further.
Good luck hun!
2006-09-12 19:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by Te In Lamia contactus me placere 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well lets see???? CAN she get out of raising the child???? You want her to be a single mom with no child support so your kid has to grow up without a father and child support???!!!! Its bad enough the kid won't have father but I guess an idiot like you will do more harm than good! 25 and your not ready well wake up no one is ready for parenthood just deal like a MAN!
2006-09-12 20:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by anjelahoy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋