I'm proud father of boys. How do I protect them from the gay lifestyle without being insensitive?

Question

It's impossible to love my sons more, but I don't want them to believe that this is remotely an option. It's tough enough being a minority, fat, short, etc. Choosing gay makes you a double minority. I can't help them understand with a straight face. UK was trying to pass legislation to teach in school. That's seems appalling to me. Children deserve better than that.

Answer 1

Of course the timing of the conversation all depends on the age of your boys. I would be honest with them ,teach them the lessons of the bible and why we were created, that it is immoral and wrong. For those that choose the homosexual lifestyle, that is a cross they will have to bear.good luck, just remember to be honest with them ;) They will respect you most for that.

Answer 2

I've known several gay people. A couple of them are very good friends of mine. EVERY ONE of them has said, IF they had a choice, they would not be gay. Why? Because it has made life harder for them. We live in a little, small minded town, that isn't very accepting of much of anything unless it's fishing, logging, hunting, or pickups. (Yes this town sucks.) My friend Rob is gay, he's also a 6'4" mechanic who you would never think was gay until he told you. He's said that he knew he was different as a kid.

Now if this makes their lives so much harder why in the hell would they "choose" to be gay? They don't. Lots of people have told me that they think my youngest son is going to be gay. You know what? I don't encourage or discourage it. I've explained to him what the difference is between homosexual, and heterosexual. Neither was glorified, or villified. If my son is going to be gay, there isn't a damn thing I can do to change it, he was BORN that way. And it's not going to make me love my son any less.

"Protecting" them from a "lifestyle" would be keeping them away from people who live and breathe hip hop, or people who are considered "goth", those are lifestyles. My friend Rob, puts his pants on one leg at a time just like you. He gets up, takes a shower, drinks his coffee black, laces up his boots, and drives his pickup to work, just like you. So how is his "lifestyle" different? It's not. His sexual orientation is different than yours, that's it.

Please don't ostracize your children should one of them be gay. It doesn't change who they are, it just changes how you'll get grandkids. If you want to be a good father, explain to them the differences. And let them know that no matter what, you'll always be their Dad, and you'll always love them. Then go to the park and play some baseball with them. I'm not trying to be a jerk, it's just sad that our world has become so judgemental and close minded. Good luck.

Answer 3

First I don't believe gay people are born gay. I think they make a choice to what ever floats their boat.
As for protecting them against the gay lifesyle, you are losing a battle. There isn't a threat.. gay men aren't attracted to every male on the planet.. your sons aren't gonna get randomly attacked by a gay guy walking down the street. As your sons grow older they will have to make the choice to be in a man/woman relationship and have a family or be in a man/man relationship and do what makes them happy.

Answer 4

So what if they turn out gay? You say you love them, then why are you trying to protect them from something you can't control? If they fall in love and are happy who gives a crap if it is someone of the male persuassion? Would you rather them be miserable all their lives trying to seek your approval? The moment your sons were born you had a responsibility. And that responsibility was to put your sons before anything. Including your ethics. My mother and father NEVER taught me ANYTHING about the "gay lifestyle" and I turned out completely happy and straight. So the REAL question here is, are you REALLY going to love your sons less if they turn out gay? AND if so, then maybe you shouldn't be a father.

Answer 5

What, exactly, IS the gay lifestyle? I mean, if you're picturing promiscuous men who pull over at truck stops for blowjobs and a good helping of AIDS, that's [generally] not it.

I think a more interesting question is, Why do your sons need to be protected from the gay lifestyle? What's so dangerous about it? For a lot of gay men (and women), their lifestyle is very much like yours: get up in the morning, go to work, meet a friend for lunch, go home, go to bed. Sometimes, the lifestyle even includes dropping kids off at school and teaching Sunday School.

Answer 6

Deat T D ,I have a son,well 3 sons and my oldest just came out saying he is gay ,people had told me for years they thought he would be and I would get mad and say no he is shy because at that time he was alittle over weight and hung with girls all the time ,I refussed to believe it nor did I see what others were seeing .now I have to try to deal with this it has hurt me just like a death feeling .I cant change him but I wont except it never .!!!I was very anti -gay me and my husband which is a step dad to my son ,and we would discuss it all the time how wrong it is and he would show me no signs but my husband picked up and tried to make me believe it at age 15 no way .Now with my 15 year old it is reversed he is girl ?woman crazy ,I think all the strong hormones brother got .he is total oppsite ,loves gals ,all of them .lol but for real with my second one my husband spoke of women alot around him ,watching wresling my hubby would say wow look at those boobs ,so it got my youngest ones attention ,my oldest was not exposed to a father that cared ,he was already 7-8 when I met there step dad and there real dad gave them up when he met this young girl and married ,now he dont even call these to boys I wander alot if his dad being the way he was if that could have caused this confussion ,one thing I did notice fdrom my oldest gay son was he would not play sports he would rather study than go outside my younger one got right into sports so I think in this world of eveil today get them into sports and dad always be a good role modle to them ,you can make a big difference in there life ,I think to my oldest is looking for that love his dad should have given ,I am anger at there dad how can any parent throw aways the children ,like they dont exist .How do parents do this.I hate there daddy for hurtingthem so much ,and thank God they have a great stepdad .good luck hop ethis helped .

Answer 7

NO one chooses to be gay. It is something you are born to be, just as many are born to be straight. Why would anyone CHOOSE to be part of minority which gets attacked and killed simply for trying to be themselves? Honestly! It would be like choosing to be a leper. Gay people are gay, they cannot change, any more than you can turn gay. There is no point worrying about it.

Answer 8

My best friend is the son of a Baptist preacher, was sheltered highly from anything that might let such an idea enter his head, and ended up gay anyway.

There's no way to hide it from them completely unless you plan on homeschooling them and monitoring all their television and reading materials--and, since once they grow up and get out in the world among gay co-workers and whatever else, I'd say it's better to at least let them know about it.

A tip that comes from my friend: He remembers being young and being punished severely for playing Barbie and dress-up with his sister. If something like that happens...really, don't freak out, because the question in their minds will become "Then why is it bad?" Stuff like that isn't any indicator of someone being gay. It's kids playing--not a huge issue, because playing for kids is try this and discrad it, try this and discard it. (I was an insane tomboy when I was a kid with a sister who loved super-girly stuff--and she's the one with a girlfriend now. She's still girlier than I am, while my significant other refers to me as his butch girlfriend.)

Most of all...if one of them turns out gay, don't turn them away. My mother struggled with accepting my sister but managed to, and our family has held together wonderfully; while my best friend got kicked out of his house, and this has apparently since broken his family up quite a bit.

Answer 9

First of all, you can't. They will either have been born gay or they won't.

That leaves you with a decision to make if any of them do turn out to be gay. What is more important to you: the love you bear your children, or your hatred of gays?

Please also bear in mind that if they know that you really really don't want them to be gay, if they do find out they are, they may drift out of your life rather than confront you with something they know you disapprove of. Is that what you would want?

Answer 10

Be a good and involved father yourself. You will be the greatest example of how a man is. To be a shinning example of a man, show your wife lots of love and respect. ;) That will give your boys a good foundation.

If for some reason some day you still have a gay child, love them still the same.

Answer 11

Everyone should be free to choose. Parents that lead their kids in thinking that they cant be gay or they arent allowed to be gay end up with emotional problems and even suicide issues. I have a baby boy and when he is older i will only be happy if he is happy and if that means that he is gay then so be it. You really shouldnt put any pressure on your kids to be someone they might not be. You are who you are and you are born that way, everyone should have the freedom to be who they want to be.