My daughter will be eighteen soon. Her mother ran off with her when she was five and I haven't been with her since. She stopped writing to me recently and won't talk with me on the phone. Every now and then she asks me for a walmart gift card, but won't talk to me on the phone even a few minutes. It makes me think something bad is going on over there. It is like it is someone else sending the email. I can't believe she would act this way. I don't know what to do.
2006-09-12 18:17:27 · 18 answers · asked by devotionalservice 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i would take further action and see whats really posturing over with her and her mother. it sounds as though you have a lot of suspicion and i feel that you have the right to be. Something definitely went down is all of a sudden she just stopped talking to you and wont even bother to really make any connection with you.
Do you think maybe it could be that the mother knows that she is almost 18 that once she gets old enough she (meaning your daughter) will get up and leave her and come find home with you? I don't know your whole story and nots that the point but i would definitely look into it deeper because i think there could be a lot hidden that you have no idea over and with out your help it could get ugly.
I'm not trying to put panic into your mind its just that maybe you should make some extra efforts to contact her, maybe make a meeting to see her. She may need you!
just don't give up thats the worst thing you can do. i wish you the best of luck..
2006-09-12 19:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What did her mother say when you politely asked her? Her mother would know what is going on, and if you care about your daughter as you have implied, then you will show respect to the woman who raised her and enlist her support. The Walmart gift cards may be needed so I cannot see why you would blackmail her by keeping them from her and/or her mother. Do you?
You do not into details as to why your wife would run off and live a life in poverty – raising her daughter alone. You do not say whether you apologized to your daughter through the years (whether you are to blame or not) for the pain she has suffered either. You do not say whether you helped them financially through the years, and if you did everything you did to help them to live an adequate life. Many single parent families must go to food banks even ‘with’ child support.
What you need to do is to grow in maturity, and communicate. Talk to your ex about it. Your loyalty is to your daughter, but hers is to her mother, as it probably should be… Make amends, however possible and ‘be there’ for them if they want you to be there for them. Swallow your hatred and your pride and do whatever you have to do to show your daughter that you ‘sincerely’ care.
2006-09-13 02:00:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go over there and see for yourself. She is your daughter. You have the right and even an obligation to look after her well being.
Think of something fun to do with her (concert, shopping, putt putt golf) so you can get achance to reconnect. I think things have just become awkward because you have been separated. Young women are just as much a mystery as the older variety. Offer her an olive branch and hope for the best. Good luck and God bless!
2006-09-13 01:23:43 · answer #3 · answered by Ahab 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go find her and talk to her in person. She would ask for a Walmart gift card even if you were living with her...believe me.
And at that age. eighteen, the last thing she is worried about is her parents. My eighteen just wants to hang out with his friends and have fun. Hanging out with me is the lat thing on his mind. And my 20 daughter just wants to hang out with her boyfriend and do stuff with him. So don't worry too much. I think when I was l8, I was the same way....teens tend to be selfish and selfcentered at that stage.
2006-09-13 01:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by greeneyes 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop sending the Wal-Mart gift cards, for one. For two, if you really want to be a part of your daughter's life, don't just sit back and watch her walk away from you. You have to show an interest because otherwise she might think that she's wasting her time on a deadbeat dad.
2006-09-13 01:21:32 · answer #5 · answered by Sam 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter is at a really emotional, difficult stage of development at 17. Not to pry into your private business, but it strikes me as odd that the two of you are in touch....yet you haven't managed to see her in 12 years! What's up with that? Your daughter may be finally acting out her pain...the pain that she's not worth her father finding a way to be with her. She may be starting to punish you. Kids who are 'abandoned' by their parent go through stages of dealing with it. They go numb. Then they will do anything to see you. Then they get angry. The time is NOW to try to rekindle what you've lost with her...and you need to do it in person. You have vivid memories of her, but she has only vague ones of you....create some now. Don't give her another Walmart card. Give her your time.
2006-09-13 01:24:37 · answer #6 · answered by maynerdswife 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try to get through to her on the phone, or by email, and arrange a place for you to meet and talk things out. Tell her you love her and care for her and really want things work. Good for you for trying to make things right. Good luck. (Maybe try talking with her mother)
2006-09-13 01:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by all 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to arrange a private meeting with her and talk to her about what is going on. If she will not agree to it or if she just wants money or gift certificates from you, then you can write her off. But try to actually see her and talk to her privately first.
2006-09-13 01:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by Laura K 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is your daughter. GO find her. And see what she is up to. You never know if you are the single person your daughter needs in her life to save her.
2006-09-13 09:55:16 · answer #9 · answered by Mystress 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her to talk to you on the inside of a cute card. Tell her you want to get to know her better and that you want to know what she is doing. Stop sending the Wal-Mart cards until you hear from her.Let her know that she can e-mail you or call you anytime on your cell.
2006-09-13 01:31:04 · answer #10 · answered by loves1guyatatime 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋