I just moved where my boyfriend is and still haven't found a job yet. We'd like to get married in the future, so in the mean time I'm living in his younger brother's room at his parents and his brother is living with him. Neither of us pay rent for either place because that's the agreement. His parents don't need my money (and I can't find a job), and my boyfriend owns his house. And one roommate only pays $200 cuz he's family. So my boyfriend is screwed because he's letting people rent for half as much as they normally would. and his other roommate had surgery so hasn't been around much this month. So I gave him some money. I don't want to be on my own until we get married, but it won't be as soon as we thought. I don't want to live with my boyfriend and I don't know anyone I could room with. My boyfriend wants me to live on my own before we get married. But I disagree. I lived in a dorm for two years. To me that is about the same as having my own place. I can't think of what to do.
2006-09-12 18:04:08 · 5 answers · asked by Mel 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 23. I took two years of college and I also took side classes for massage therapy to get my license. I don't want to move back home because I'd still be in the same situation of living with my parents. We had a plan, but things are going slower and not as smoothly (with his brother) as we expected. The only way I would live on my own is with a roommate and I don't have any real friends yet. And I think I would have a lot more stress. and no job yet but I had an interview today. One thing I can think of is him making the rent higher to help him financially. But his roommates get an easy ride with such low rent. As far as college, I'm done with that. But when I was going I had to pay tuiton without an scholarships plus my side schooling for massage plus gas to drive there and I also have a cat to take care of too.
2006-09-12 18:30:00 · update #1
I moved up here because I lived 7hrs away. I really care about my boyfriend at this relationship is worth everything to me. I moved here because I wasn't as established in my career as he is and he's older and owns his house. And he is going to take over his dad's business in a few years. So it was more logical for me to move. But it hasn't been as simple as we thought it would be. And we are communicating through it.
2006-09-12 18:33:28 · update #2
Honestly I think it would be good idea for you to live on your own before you get married. It gives you time to grow up. I lived in the dorms also and trust me having your own place is ALOT different. It's just going to make it easier for you to transition into married life if you've had the experince of living by yourself first.
2006-09-12 18:09:04 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you move back home?
You don't say things like WHY you moved to his place without a solid life plan or how old you are, but based on what you wrote, MY advice would be...
You move back home. Finish or go to school or get a good job and build your resume.
Boyfriend sells house and moves home OR sets the place up as apartments and rents them out the right way so he has some rental income.
WHY do YOU have to live on your own to satisfy HIS needs? That sounds... questionable. It is one thing to suggest some additional life experience, but this sounds odd.
You've got 3 issues:
1. YOUR living situation- jobless living with his folks? Yuck.
2. HIS living situation- sounds like cash flow is poor- a horrible way to start a life together.
3. HIS plans for YOUR life about living on your own.
God luck!
2006-09-13 01:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by Madkins007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Living on your own" and "living with any arrangements (either with family or friends)" are two opposite arrangements.
Before you both actually SETTLE DOWN, TOGETHER, consider any possible situation that could occur. Are you both so COMMITED TO each other, or are you together simply for convenience?
Many states observe "a couple" as A SINGLE ENTITY when they recognise the census. They recognise you as a COMMONLAW marriage, even though you have never consulted a church (by ceremony.)
To answer your ultimate question (whether you should seek to live again on your own; for an unexpressed time before you two do, if ever; reconnect) I would seek THAT in aim to gain some tangible residence "record." Many and most Financial agencies request this record as means of residence before they will consider doing any business with you.
HAVING this record will show them that you are both responsible and sincere to conduct business with them.
2006-09-13 01:36:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living in a dorm for 2 years is NOT living on your own.
Did you have bills to pay each month? Rent, utilities, etc.
Grow up and live on your own before the marriage. It will help you prepare.
2006-09-13 01:06:55 · answer #4 · answered by annastasia1955ca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only advise I can give you is the advise my mom gave me. To see if you are really meant to be together and if love each other enough live with them for a year first even 6 months. See how it goes. It is always different when you live with them. You find out about their habits and vise-versa. If you don't live with them first and you get married what if you don't actually like living with them. I would definately suggest trying to live with him before you marry him.
2006-09-13 01:12:00 · answer #5 · answered by Renee32325 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋