afraid of my Virginity !?

Question

I am virgin and I must be in bed with my husband next weak I am afraid of the pain of first night.Is it a pain full action? what can I do?

Answer 1

The experience of sexual intercourse for the first time can be romantic, exciting, sensual, fun, passionate, awkward, embarrassing, uncomfortable, disappointing, or any combination. To make the most out of your first experience, you may want to wait until the morning or day after the wedding night, when you are rested and ready to explore each other in a leisurely way, without fatigue or interruption. To minimize the discomfort or pain and maximize the pleasure of first intercourse, both of you need to take the time to explore one another's bodies and fully arouse each other before penetration. You'll be on an upward learning curve as you find out what feels good or not to each of you.

Many women (and their partners) worry about discomfort or pain the first time they have vaginal intercourse, and not all of them have this experience. People have varying levels of tolerance for pain or discomfort. If a woman does have discomfort, she and her partner need to be sure that she is aroused, that she has lubrication, both her own or some extra. If after these ideas, you still feel either discomfort or pain, you can let your husband know, and he can stop doing what is causing you discomfort until you can more comfortably start again.

Another reason for physical discomfort is that you two are just beginning to learn how each of your bodies fit with one another's. The following tips might be fun to experiment with as you both prepare for your first intercourse:

Create a pleasure chest that includes water-based lube, condoms if you aren't using birth control and don't want to get pregnant at this time, the book The Joy of Sex for ideas about a variety of sexual positions, and other products for sex play, such as massage lotion or oil, lingerie, an erotic movie or book, and/or a vibrator.
Focus on touching, kissing, caressing each other in ways that increase arousal before penetration.
Take it slowly.
Talk with each other about what feels good and how you both like to be touched.
Add a dab of water-based lube on the vulva, the opening of the vagina, inside the condom (if he is wearing one) before it is unrolled, and outside on the penis or the condom before penetration. Reapply as often as necessary to ease any discomfort and increase pleasure.
Experiment with various positions.
If an erection goes away, remember it will most certainly come back.
It's not uncommon for the end of the experience to be less extraordinary than expected. Sometimes one or both partners do not orgasm. Other times, a man's erection might not last long or it might come and go, and a woman may be more lubricated at some moments than at others. Taking your time, talking clearly, focusing on how good you two feel, and learning/practicing are the best ways to allow the two of you to enjoy this newfound intimacy together. Even when unexpected events occur, a couple's first experience with intercourse can be meaningful, positive, exciting, pleasurable, and/or fulfilling for many couples. A sense of humor goes a long way, and you have a lifetime together to learn.

Answer 2

First of all, congrats to you and your husband to be!

Second, thank God we still have people like you who saved the best part until marriage. I do regret I did not.

Okay, I am a guy. So, here is my point of view (without getting too graphic). Key: slowly. Loving making is art. Love making is communication. Love making is beautiful. Love making is about 2 becoming one. So, my suggestion is take it slow and enjoy the love. If you are not ready, then, despite the fact that he might be a bit upset, he may have to wait. This is where the communication begins. Love is patient, love is kind....... He will still "get" his. He has waited this long so a little longer should not hurt him, yeah? Remeber, he may be nervous too. This is especially true if he is also a virgin.

But, since things might "heat up" anyway, why not take the time to do some real communication. Sweet nothings, touches, and things like that. Explore each other. Build up his confidence but don't keep reminding him that you are a virgin. The point is to get both of you ready and relaxed for the moment to arrive naturally. And for you to self lubricate as much as you can. When it arrives, he can lubricate himself either with KY jelly, lubricated condom or even sliva. Then, just ask him to gently only insert the "head" a bit (you can verbally guide him along) and only the head. Once you are comfortable with a few gentle and slow thrusts to loosen the opening, then, you can ask him to gently and slowly but completely insert the rest of "him" in you. You should be well lubricated at this time. Then, let him rest in you for a minute or two so that you'd be used to him and he'd be used to you. Then, you love birds can figure out the rest. Take it slow and easy and I believe you both will have a better first time. Just don't expect it to be something big the first time. It may take a few sessions. After all, you both are adjusting to each other. Build the excitment.

Congrats again and enjoy!

Answer 3

Call your family doctor, they can give you good advice. Buy a good water soluable lubricant and use it. If your soon to be husband knows you are a virgin, then he should be prepared to take things slow and easy. Relax and get to know one another's bodies a little B-4 the 2 of you actually have intercourse. There is no reason to be in a rush the night of your wedding. Kick back relax, and enjoy it. Do not spend the remaining days stressing over it! May God Bless and Keep the 2 of you in this new union!

Answer 4

Well, first off, congrats on your marriage. The first experience won't be too pleasent, I'm afraid. It's painful, yes, but after that, it'll be fine from then on. Have some wine or other sort of alcohol before you guys start, it helps. Another way for you to reduce the pain, which you can start now, actually, is masturbation. It will help to stretch your vagina wider, and though your first time will still be painful, but it will be more bearable compared to letting your husband do all the work, from A- Z

Answer 5

From my experience, the first time hurts about as much as it hurts to get your ears pierced.

There is some initial pain, but it goes away almost immediately (except perhaps for soreness the next day, but this will probably continue for the rest of your life).

Also, if your husband is a considerate lover, he will work to ensure that you are ready and relaxed, before entering you.

Try to remember that sex is fun, and it feels REALLY good...If you can try to enjoy it, you and your husband will both have a better time.

Answer 6

hey, i know i'm a guy, but i feel like i should talk about virginity. it's a beautiful thing. i lost mine on my 20th birthday. i'm not gonna say it was a mistake, but it wasn't what i set out for. i was going to stay a virgin till marriage. from what i know about the pain, not all women feel pain their first time. all you can do is tell him to take it kinda slow and hope he's not "big" if you know what i mean. another option would be to get some lidocaine and put it on your area. it's a local anesthetic similar to orajel, actually that would probably work too. i had surgery on my tail bone and the had to cut pretty close to my... you know and i had to apply that everso often because it hurt so bad. it takes all feeling away in a few seconds. of course it won't be the full experience if you do that. but it's a suggestion. probably not the best one, but i gave it a try.

Answer 7

The important thing to know is that you should not rush into sexual intercourse. You must be aroused before you attempt insertion. Lots of foreplay, kissing, touching or whatever, to make you moist will make it just fine.

Also, if you are both tired from the wedding, get a night's sleep before you try to have sex. This is especially true if he is also a virgin.

If you are sufficiently wet, it should not be painful, but may be a tad uncomfortable at first, but will start to feel good shortly.

If you want to talk, feel free to IM me with farther questions. Congrats on the wedding.

Answer 8

There will be little pain at the first time if you are a virjin. But the happiness along with it will overcome the pain. so enjoy the married life. You are now in the big league of about 3 billion adults.

Answer 9

Every gal have to go thru this. it'll b abit of pain jus like an ant bite.
the pain is not that scareful. don't take all this to heart must enjoy ur 1st night with ur husband then u wont even find the time to feel the pain.

Answer 10

Yes, it is painful, but I was not relaxed, so maybe that is why it hurt more. Tell your husband to go very slow and to be patient with you. If he goes slow, it will not hurt as much. It will also hurt the next few times, but I promise the pain will eventually go away.