Do you think there are still mistakes in this formal and polite letter? I've tried my best.?

Question

Thank you for your email sent on 11 September 2006 to Malaysia.

We have reviewed your request and unfortunately we need to convey that USAID/Malaysia does not have adequate information on tea industry in Malaysia. Beside that, USAID/Malaysia does not have an agricultural project which is directly related to tea industry.

That is all our response to your request for tea industry information in Malaysia. Thank you very much for your attention.

Typo, this first paragraph should be read:

Thank you for your email sent on 11 September 2006 to USAID to ask for information related to tea industry in Malaysia

Answer 1

Omit the "unfortunately." It gives the letter a negative tone. Sounds much more positive if you say We have reviewed your request. However, USAID...does not have adequate information for us to properly respond to your question, nor do we have an agricultural........ And then perhaps you can suggest somewhere where they might obtain more information, some other contact. Which leaves them with a positive impression, doesn't make them feel bad for having asked you for the info in the first place,and doesn't leave you people looking like idiots because you are unable to help or too lazy to help.. And basically gets you off the hook and makes it appear as though you are genuinely trying to be helpful. Hey., what does USAID/MALAYSIA mean, anyway?

Answer 2

Sounds good. Here's a suggestion:

Thank you for your e-mail sent to USAID on 11 September 2006 requesting information related to tea industry in Malaysia. We have reviewed your request and, unfortunately, need to convey that USAID/Malaysia does not have an agricultural project which is directly related to the tea industry and therefore, does not have adequate information on the tea industry in Malaysia.

We appreciate your inquiry and thank you very much for your attention.

Answer 3

It sounds a bit awkward in a few places. Try this for better flow in the letter:

Thank you for the e-mail that you sent to USAID on 11 September 2006 asking for information relating to the Malaysian tea industry.

We have reviewed your request. Unfortunately, we must respond that USAID/Malaysia does not have adequate information on the Malaysian tea industry. USAID/Malaysia does not have an agricultural project directly related to the tea industry.

Thank you very much for your inquiry. We apologise for being unable to help further.

Answer 4

This is good but with the following minor changes (in all caps)

Thank you for your email sent on 11 September 2006 to Malaysia.

We have reviewed your request and unfortunately we need to convey that USAID/Malaysia does not have adequate information on THE tea industry in Malaysia. BesideS that, USAID/Malaysia does not have an agricultural project which is directly related to THE tea industry.

THIS WILL COMPLETE OUR response to your request for tea industry information in Malaysia. Thank you very much for your attention.

Answer 5

Eliminate 'Besides that,' and ' which is'
change 'related to tea industry' to 'related to the Tea Industry.
Replace 'that is all our response' with ' This concludes our repsonse

Answer 6

I think that since this is a formal letter you might want to fix "USAID" and maybe put "you said." Other than that its ok!