when is the right time to say "i love you" in a new relationship? is there a recomended period? i made the mistake of saying it too soon(1 month) and for that she left me
2006-09-12 17:14:47 · 13 answers · asked by CHARLIE 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its different in every relationship
2006-09-12 17:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't think there is any wrong time to say "I love you" even if its early into a new relationship. You can only say what you feel and many other woman would have probably regarded you saying "I love you" as great compliment even if its early into a new relationship, and this can arouse their interest in you even further.
However, they are some other woman, who could view this, as you saying those three little words they like to hear, more as a ploy to get them into bed and this of course can frighten some woman off, but with a bit of reassurance and taking things (at their pace) then this shouldn't really be a problem, especially if they are interested in you.
For this new girlfriend to leave you so suddenly, is more likely to suggest something else, like she wasn't quite ready for a more serious relationship with you and take it to the next stage or she just didn't fancy you enough to continue with the relationship and used this as an excuse to exit the relationship.
I'm sure if she was interested in you, or wanted to have you just as a friend, she would have made this known. But also bear in mind, they are some people who would rather cut all ties in a relationship for various reasons.
Don't worry to much, these things do happen and she obviously wasn't the right person for you.
2006-09-13 01:02:26 · answer #2 · answered by haggispa2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She could have been the unlovable type, in which case she created a hundred reasons why it couldn't be love or got very scared by the whole thing.
Probably better for you she left you earlier rather than later, as these types find it very difficult to settle with somebody. It could have been a lot of hastle.
There is no right answer around this and one can love someone on many diffferent levels. The key is honesty with yourself, if you truly love somebody and you have distinguished love from lust then you can say it.
To make it more believable you can shower your beloved with what it is you like about her first and then tell her you love her. You must remember however that love isn't backed up answers, or rationalised, its a feeling aboout someone that we have that would have us do almost anything for them.
The trick is not to try and do it "right", but be authentically who you are in the moment, you have more power in your communication this way.
So next time when you genuinely feel it say it don't wait for exactly the right moment, it doesn't have to be delivered as this great big significant thing, try and keep it light.
For me loving someone is not enough, I have fallen in love with people I have found it very difficult to live with and when you live with them, as I found it so difficult have fallen out of love with them. You may want to make sure you have a long term future with them as well as the feeling or the chemistry before you say it, this is just information for you to choose to decide upon, i don't know the answer here. maybe if your uncertain about how the relationship will work out you could say I love you but expressing a hope that things and life can work at the next level of relationship.
Also the textbook answer around this advises you not to say in for the first time when you are in bed after sex, apparently she wouldn't believe you if you tell her in this situation, I wonder why ?
2006-09-13 02:27:00 · answer #3 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey man, every relationship is different because its with different girls. i'm pretty sure you would noe that by now. see whichever girl you are with at that point of time and judge for urself. There's no right or wrong in the game of love, just many risks to take! If you think the girl is receptive to you and all ur advances then shouldn't be a problem for you to say those three words. But if the girl is not that receptive, then wait dude. Be patient! being in a relationship requires a lot of patience and show the girl that you have what it takes to be a patient man.
2006-09-13 05:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by Abel Blessed Lim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many mistake this over-worked sentence, as one of the biggest lies. Wait until the relationship has become more rooted and cemented before saying " I love you." Words to a song goes : ....And then I go and spoil it all by saying some-thing stupid like I love you .
2006-09-13 01:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by skeetejacquelinelightersnumber7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she wa going to leave you anyways
if a girl is in to you
trust me you can say it in day 1 and she is yours ( Check Tom and Pammy Lee, married after only 2 friggin days !! ),
she was waiting for sonething to come in line
be it your confidence ( whcih you probaly did not have )
you outlook ( ditto ) .or ????
she had made up her mind a long time ago... you were just on a probationary period as far as she was concerned.
2006-09-13 00:18:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no set time frame, use your instincts. It has to be the right time in your mind not on the calender.
2006-09-13 06:56:11 · answer #7 · answered by Richard C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a good grasp on love then you will know that timing is everything.
2006-09-13 01:27:48 · answer #8 · answered by 50lx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude you have to learn to tell them what they want to hear in order to get what you want from them. I love you works for some, but not for others. It's hard to tell these days.
2006-09-13 00:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by a_poor_misguided_soul 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very pick the right moment and make sure u r both happy
2006-09-13 02:08:14 · answer #10 · answered by stephen d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋