well i just suddenly had this thought that came across. my friends all dont believe that ive never had a boyfriend and they always say that i look like i have a boyfriend. but i never had one. and i wonder if it is because i am too afraid to be commited to someone . the guys i have met never believed it when i said that i never had a boyfriend..i look like im in total control of myself but i actually have low self esteem and im afraid of commitment. help..
2006-09-12 16:57:34 · 17 answers · asked by carmenn4 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey, psst, a little secret.....WE ALL ARE AFRAID OF COMMITMENT!
So don't feel so bad. You're just like the rest of us wandering the planet searching for a special connection with another human being, frightened to h@$$ that we'll get burned by it in the end.
Sometimes girls hide their low self esteem behind their boyfriends, using them as validation.
Part of being brave is admitting and facing the fear, which you have done so "Bravo!" to you. Have faith in yourself and realize that you are not the only one, and you can find compassion in yourself that will amaze you.
Raise your self-esteem by exploring your talents, passions, and blessings. Make life your adventure and be your own hero. Others will see your light shine and take notice.
All the best to you!
2006-09-12 17:10:17 · answer #1 · answered by mithril 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, there's always barrier in everyone's life. there's so called temporary limitation..and sometimes we need to break that barrier to get to the next step....in your case, this is the low self esteem and commitment. at least that's what i thought. i think you might want to see deep inside what is causing your low self esteem and your afraid of commitment. if your friends are honest people, and they don't really believe you when you said you never had a boyfriend, that means you have the body and the face. because literaly if you don't have these two, it is very easy for me to believe that you never had a boyfriend (since you said you are a low self esteem person, i take it you don't really spread your charm everywhere ).... that is.. if your friends are truly honest with you...or if they don't, which they just wanted you to feel better because you pop the statement "I never had a boyfriend"... usualy the answer will go like this "get outta here, no way" just to make you feel better. so in a way... you don't really need to listen what this fellas say to you, just search inside, what makes you feel so low, and do something about it.. with or without boyfriend
i hope i helped a little. (and by the way, you're not getting married soon right? commitment is when you are married. now, you are free :))
2006-09-12 17:11:19 · answer #2 · answered by dominiquelaksmana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK I think I understand why your friends say "You look like you have a boyfriend" What they mean is, you are so cute that no one can understand why you don't have a hundred guys trying to be your Bf.
It's a tough situation for pretty girls like you, because no guy will go near you because he'll think that you already have a Bf.
It's normal for anybody your age to have low self-esteem, Even if you are the most beautiful girl in the whole school, you can still suffer from it.
If you are old enough for dating, then let it be known amongst your friends that you are interested in dating. Eventually a guy will get enough confidence to ask you out.
Afraid of commitment? Forget about it! Just date as many guys as you want. One day you will meet a guy that you won't be afraid to make a commitment with. That only has to happen when you are ready for it.
Have Fun.
2006-09-12 17:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its perfectly ok. When you find someone that you feel you should be in a relationship with, they'll like you for good honest reasons. In other words, they will be people that will help you with your fear of commitment. You won't have to change anything about yourself for the right person, but at the same time give someone enough room to help you with any insecurities you might have.
2006-09-12 17:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by Bastronaught 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If everyone thinks that you have had a boyfriend it's probably because you are so beautiful. You do not have to be commited to anyone, that doesn't mean that you can't have fun. Go out explore just don't give yourself a bad name that will stick forever.
2006-09-12 17:03:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you don't need to prove ant thing to any body. I'm not very high on my self esteem ether but I have joined a few clubs like drama and orchestra.you should do something like that to?
2006-09-12 17:04:27 · answer #6 · answered by cutie_babygrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about commitment. Just date and enjoy it. Each positive interaction with a date will give you more confidence.
2006-09-12 16:59:56 · answer #7 · answered by Tina K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU know it would help you if you would talk to your girl friends. USE them as sounding boards and dont be a fraid to open up and spill the beans. They can give you a lot of great ideas.
2006-09-12 17:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound quite young so i wouldn't be worrying to much about not having(or having had) a BF yet. you have plenty of time for that. get out and meet lost of people and one day you will meet the right boy
2006-09-12 16:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by Scott G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will grow out of it in time. Just make sure that it happens soon. I would go out and do things that give you pride and hang out with people that make you laugh a lot.
2006-09-12 17:00:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋