Relationship help?

Question

Ive been with my boyfriend 6 months, Im 26 and hes 29.
Hes a bit rough around the edges, quite blokey, and occasionally gets into fights when hes at a pub.
He doesnt want me going out with him and his friends, he says its because he doesnt want me to see what hes like whens hes out with them (really drunk and occasionally fighting).
This upsets me and makes me not trust him.
He also doesnt like talking to me everyday, we live 1hr away from each other and spend most weekends together.
He never calls me(sometimes I dont call him for days to see if he will call, and he doesnt) and doesnt want to see me everyday.
He tells me he loves me, But I feel like hes taking me for granted, I do so much for him, and he doesnt do anything, occasionally cooks me dinner.
When Im at his house on weekends, we get into huge fights, because he wants to play his computer games for a few hours. and I want to spend time with him, because we live so far apart.
He says Im too possessive and jealous. Hel

I sent him an email yesterday saying I was upset that he goes out for boys nights (i go out with my friends when he does that) and his mate brings his girlfriend, But Im not invited, he got angry and said "fine he wont go out anymore" like its such a huge problem if I come out with them

Answer 1

Start off with little compromises and see where it goes from there? Ask him to take you out with his friends sometime during the week and in turn next time you see him get on the computer to play some games, just watch some tv or a movie. Hopefully if you try the whole 'give and take' thing with him, he'll catch on and start letting you in on other aspects of his life and you in turn don't have to make the most of your time with him on the weekends and give him a bit of 'him' time.

Answer 2

It sounds like he's rather immature when he said "fine I won't go out with my friends anymore". It's odd that he wouldn't invite you too. I don't think that you sound possessive or jealous, you are just confused and a little hurt that he doesn't invite you out. If he can't let you see every side of him then why is he with you. Ask him why he would let his friends and their girlfriends see him drunk and not you? what's the difference. People are still going to see him at the bar whether or not you're there. I don't think it's fair that he's being that way and telling you that he doesn't want you there. I used to live 7hrs. from my bf and we talked everyday. I understand how you feel about him playing computer games. I just told my bf that I don't like when he comes home from work to play games even though I play on the computer while he's at work cuz there's nothing else to do. It's not that I don't want him to have fun, but I've been waiting the whole time he's been gone so I can see him when he comes back. It seems like you need a guy that treats you better and respects your feelings.

Answer 3

Wow. Honey Im sorry but this guy is a total Jerk off. If he gets in fights at bars he either has a anger problem that is provoked by alcohol, or and alcohol problem that is provoked by anger, jealousy, insecurity, whatever. Not to mention immature and embarrasing. If he doesn't to talk to you everyday that is weird. And the fact that he doesn't want you to go out with him something else is going on. He is mostly scoping other girls and probably taking them home. He's not lying when he says that he doesn't want you to see what he's like when he's out. If somebody wants to be with you they will be. It sucks that you live so far away and if you don't get to spend much time together you would think he would put the video games down for a while. It sounds like he uses that as an excuse to ignore you. He is taking you for granted. And using you. Don't do a dam thing for this guy. He doesn't deserve it and he sure as hell doesn't love you. Too possessive and jealous? What do you have to be possessive about? He's never around! I'm not one for revenge so for me to say do the same thing to him would be wrong but, in a relationship you almost have to prove to the other person that what they are doing hurts your feelings. If you really want it to work out then maybe talk to him about what he does. It's not normal "boyfriend who loves you" behavior. Has he always been like this? It sounds to me like he just doesn't give a sh*t. Easier said than done but, ditch his stupid as*. He obviously does not care enough about you to make any sacrifices to make the relationship work, and relationships are work!!! Move on. Don't put up with that crap.

Answer 4

All of your toughts are correct? He is thinking he is smarter than you and is a player and getting away with something, I mean hello... Like being older doesn't get you anywhere. I don;t think so.. Being older than he is you definately have been around the block. Just try and remember the stuff you were doing when you were his age. So yes, what you have just stated is all true. you can either believe that it is not and go on, dump him, get better and move on or you can stay and act as if you don't care and it doesn't bother you. It is hard telling what young men are using us for now days.. You just never know. There is some reason he wants to hang on to you. So look at his life and figure out what it is. Dumping someone someone is always harder than what it seems. Some people feel they have to be with someone 24/7. Give it a try being home alone you will end up finding it rather nice.

Answer 5

was he always like this or is he getting turned off of you because you are too possessive? Men hate that, because they like time alone with their mates,its a blokey thing. They dont like to be controlled like you are the Mum. When he is finished with his computer game also if you dont NAG him, he will want to be with you if he still loves you.I do understand you also feel neglected & act how a lot of women act when the man doesn't seem to give them much time,but if you give him space he will be more loving to you.

Answer 6

well honestly he's probably cheating on u...i mean i had that same exact thing happen to me and when it finally came to the end was when he married another woman and invited me to the wedding....i'm not sayin that the same thing will happen to u but...if i were u be sneaky....for instance so something crazy like break up with him......and don't give in when u feel alone just give him time to know what hes missing.....soon if he really loves u than he shall come running back to u beggin' and hopefully he will learn a lesson for not appreciating what he has or had ya kno....but thats just my opinion.....i hope this will help u out some or if it don't i tried lol

Answer 7

On his boys night out just start showing up at the pub with your girls. If he wants to play a computer game for hrs then just leave and say"call me when your done. I'm going to that pub you seem to like. "

If he keeps acting like an **** cut him loose and he will realize what he has lost and hopefully change.

Answer 8

Been there done that, life is too short to waste it on someone who doesn't reciprocate. He wont change to be the person you're looking for who will pay you more attention. Best thing is to move on before you get even more entangled than you already are. He's not ready for a full on settle down relationship. Best of luck!

Answer 9

Here is the rule to go by in relationships.....
Judge your time together if you are happy when you are with him an acceptable amount of the time. ie above 75% than maybe you gotta take a step back and look at things.... if your happiness while around him is below 75% of the time then is it really worth it? You gotta be happy. Follow your heart.

Answer 10

What relationship? Do you think your situation will get better? Do you think he will suddenly start respecting you and fullfilling your emotional needs? Do you think your frustration with him will end? If so, when? It sounds to me like you are desparate to be in a relationship and you are trying to make one where there isn't one. I really am only being honest. Get out and find someone who is compatable with you because if you stay only to become emotionaly bonded in a unhealthy way, you will only find heartbreak when the right one does find you and you can't pursue it because you are commited to someone who makes you miserable.