As some of you might have read previously, my girlfriend betrayed me to my best friend who she claimed was no danger to our relationship. We've broken up. Thankyou for your advice, those who gave it.
I'm a first to this. It's hurting but I guess that's normal. Anyways I have this ominous feeling that my ex-best friend, who let my ex-girlfriend seduce him, is right in line to fill my shoes. I'm trying not to care, but that hurts too.
I promised the both of them that I would forget what happened, I didn't want it to come between us. But now as my feelings are wasting off without reciprocation I feel I don't want to be their friend anymore. Perhaps for all our sakes.
Am I right to feel this? Or is it just a phase?
2006-09-12 16:16:26 · 18 answers · asked by insiped_twit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow...being betrayed by you best friend and girl. that's pretty ugly. no wonder you're in a bind and confused.
ok. lets get things straight. you're hurt. don't deny it. don't hide it. did you tell your best pal about how hurt you are? I know it's hard for men to open up but I think you should. it'll make things clear for him and easier for you to move on.
there is no use for you to remember a girl like that - she BETRAYED you for YOUR BEST FRIEND. n who knows, she might betray him for you later on? (but don't count on it buddy. but if it happens, LEAVE HER, she's not worth it!)
I'm not saying she's a "B-word" but she's doing what she thinks is appropriate and right to her. please respect that.
and about being friends again, well, it's totally up to you. if you think you can pull it off, go ahead. but ask yourself, which of the two you've known longer (in terms of years). then decide.
take time to let it go. keep yourself busy with other stuff and don't worry, it's just a phase...
take care friend.
2006-09-12 16:34:10 · answer #1 · answered by skylinezan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right or wrong, sometimes we can't help but have certain feelings. Maybe you're realizing that the friendships were never true to begin with and you're also realizing that getting hurt is not fun... and certainly not worth those "friendships."
Life is funny at times. You'll meet other friends and you'll be hurt in life many times, too. What can you do? You can try to be a better person, that's all we can do. But if you see a friend being cruel or evil to someone else, don't you think that that friend can one day do the same to you? It's very simple, if a friend gossips to you that someone else has done or is doing or said or whatever... hey, the day will come when that friend will do the same with you! How best to avoid it is not to trust those kinds of "friends" with your personal feelings but to be neutral with you comments and reactions around that kind of person.
Do a bit of soul-searching and think for a while; can it be that you made poor choices in choosing your friends?
Listen, people grow into habits that describes them. Bullies do things that describes bullies. Gossipers gossip and describes them as such... Be the best person you can be; that's all you can be. Don't become a vindictive person, leave it alone and you'll be the better person for it since no one can or will accuse you of being vindictive. And it's OK to avoid being with people that hurt you; after all, even the snail will seek the shade for comfort. Good luck and best wishes.
2006-09-12 23:27:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to feel betrayed. You also have a right not to want to be friends with them. But are you willing to give up all the memories and times you shared together? Or the good times that would be shared in the future? If you are ready to give it up.....then you can choose not to be their friends anymore. As you say it might just be a phase. You can try waiting it out but if you can't take it anymore then don't take it. It's your choice. I can't tell you what to do but I hope I guided you well. Best of luck in all of this. Do what eases the pain in your heart. Don't make the pain worse.
2006-09-12 23:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle Annette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, why would anyone want to remain friends with them? They both betrayed your trust and if they would do that for something as important as a relationship, they will do it for anything.
Don't worry about their feelings, worry about yourself and forget about them. There are more decent people in the world to be friends and lovers with.
As for your promise to forget what happened, in a sense, they promised you something when they started their relationships with you. Maybe not verbally, but it is an unspoken understanding that you will be faithful to your significant other and loyal to your friends.
If you feel guilty for breaking your promise, confront them and tell them that after giving it more thought, you've decided not to forget it because they will stab you in the back again the first chance they get and you are moving on to people you can trust.
Sorry you got hurt like that and I hope you find someone worth your time. You deserve better.
2006-09-12 23:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by nellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can expect you to get over this instantly and go on being a good friend to them like nothing ever happened. Give your self some time and when you've had some time to cool down, decide if you're still okay with being friends with either one, especially if they will be hanging around you as a couple.
Not to be cliche or anything, but time does heal all wounds... only, you haven't had any time. Good luck to you.
2006-09-12 23:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by Easygreasy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the way you feel will always be right, why? because you know your self better then anyone will. your feeling might be a phase right now, its phase that you need to go through. once it pass then you might be able to at lease say hi when you see them i wouldnt call anyone that betrayed me my friend again but you could still say hi with no hard feel cause your over it now
PS. you have to let go of the old in order to start with the new
2006-09-12 23:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by ineedya_00 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are betrayed, of course you have every right to feel that way. two people that you trusted went behind your back, and didnt even think about how hurt were you going to be. Why would you want to be friends with people that dont even take your feelings into consideration? If your still friends with them.... WOW you are definitely being the bigger person.
2006-09-12 23:20:53 · answer #7 · answered by booyah-baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to feel the way you do. and if you stay and be friends your probably gonna be more hurt, than if you just broke all tie now, so you can mend your broken heart. it will hurt and take time to heal , but don't let them know that it hurts when you c them some where. i wish you luck. there's lots of fish in the sea.
2006-09-12 23:26:22 · answer #8 · answered by plummer7cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Betrayal hurts and it is embarrassing! I can't blame you one bit if you don't want to talk to either of them anymore. How can he be your best friend and do such a thing? How can your girlfriend do such a thing?
Maybe the next girl you meet you should make her your best friend before making her your girlfriend.
Sorry about your trouble.
Good Luck
2006-09-12 23:22:54 · answer #9 · answered by escapingmars 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heck yeah! You have every right to feel the way you do. And if you loose those two "friends?" The heck with them. They weren't good friends to beging with. Who wants friends who you can't trust and that will bertay you, etc...
And if you get past the hurt and remain friends with the two of them, will more power to you buddy!
2006-09-12 23:20:18 · answer #10 · answered by fullofsunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋