Why don't men have engagement rings?

Question

I think it is important that relationships should be equal. Since most men don't like to wear what would be good alternatives to an "engagement ring" that would be suitable for a man?

I'm looking for answers that are legit, and if you are replying to the question " why don't they have engagement rings?" try to avoid the "it's tradition" or "thats the way it should be" responses.

Answer 1

they don't?

looks at my finger...

oh look and a wedding ring too.

hum, strange.

maybe.. YOU should get him one... (this goes for the women who wish to marry 'the man' of their dreams... like do what we do.. put down all of your hard earned cash on a ring... and then say hey i love you too.. here, now your as.s. is mine.)

the reason we don't have them in most cases is the better half to be doesn't get us one.

Answer 2

First of all, culturally, women have always been more interested in marrying than men. Now I'm not certain about this but I think diamond companies in the last 70 years have been the ones to push engagement rings and a lot of women, including my Mom never had them. Some men don't even wear wedding bands. I completely agree with you about equality. It seems to be the more cost effective way to handle the equality issue is neither of you wear a ring. If you're both wealthy why not buy him a man's ring with a masculinized version of the center stone of your ring.
For instance if you have a round solitaire as your ring, have the same type stone and size embedded in a ring with a thick gold cigar band style but with a stone that closely resembles yours. For the wedding bands both choose thin gold rings to layer next to the engagement ring. If it doesn't look masculine enough for your fiance, right before the wedding have his thin wedding band bonded to the thick engagement ring which could look like one ring with a ridge. Hope this helps and good luck

Answer 3

The tradition of a man giving his bride to be a ring goes very far back. The ring was used for it's shape, a circle. It represented the never ending unity of marriage. The earliest recorded engagement rings dates back to pre-Roman times when grasses were tied together to make a ring.

The Romans were the first to use metals, it was like a miniature slave band on the woman, she was the man's "property".

Later on in Medieval Europe, it was a custom the give a bride price to the girl's parents. The ring was part of the payment, and frequently it had his crest/seal on it so that everyone would recognize who she belonged to. Again, the woman was "property".

Diamonds weren't given until the 15th century. Up until that time, diamonds were reserved for royalty and the highest ranking nobility. They didn't gain popularity until later, around the 18th century with Queen Victoria (I think).

Men didn't start wearing wedding bands until much later, early 20th century. So it's a fairly recent tradition in itself, never mind an engagement gift for the man.

I would think that a good engagement gift should be something the man can use, something that includes his hobbies/interests. By now you know what he likes, so use your best judgement.
Golf
Fishing
Hunting
Football

While a romantic gift may be more what you are looking for, it should also be something that will last. A dozen roses will die, chocolates get eaten, jewelery doens't get worn....
Maybe something that you can have personalized.
Picture frames
Couple name meanings
His and hers towels, robes, coffee mugs
Key chain

I gave my husband a gold pocket watch for an engagement gift.

Answer 4

The answer to your question is that women have rings to indicate who owns them. Men used to be the owners, so they didn't need this indicator for others to see. Yes, it's stupid, and sexist, therefore the rules are in the process of changing.

My future son-in-law wears an engagement ring.

If your fiance shares your opinion about equality, he should be more than happy to wear a ring before you get married. It shouldn't be too hard to find something that can be integrated with another band once you are actually married.

Answer 5

The custom of giving women an engagement ring stems from the patriarchal systems of old. Once a man had arranged to marry a woman, she was assumed to be his "property". A ring was an outward signal of her new status - no longer was she her father's daughter, she now belonged to another man.

These days, it is more a symbol of devotion to the young lady from the fiance. It her outwardly showing her devotion to the fiance by wearing it, and his devotion is symobolized by the giving of it.

In this way, you can think of the custom as being bilateral. It does not provide the fiance with any outward symbol on his person, but it does work to that effect.

Perhaps you could both get an ear pierced together, if you really want to wear something outward. Brass nose ring? :-)

Answer 6

Some people buy their rings together as a couple. Some people don't even wear rings.
Then, why it is bride's parents who have to take care of the wedding? (Again, not everybody's like that. SOme families share the expences.)

OK, a ring should not be a major expence on your grand scale of things if you want to support a family. It it seems too expensive to buy a ring - just forget thet whole thing. You're not ready financially to get married.

In the country of my origin people exchange rings. They buy them for each other.

Answer 7

my son got an engagement ring when he got engaged. They picked out a plain gold band that he could continue to wear for work after they got married and a fancier one for when they go out together. He said that if she had to wear an engagement ring it was only fair that women know he was also taken *s*

Answer 8

Years ago, Women didn't ask men out, so men didn't need an engagement ring. Now how crazy some women are over guys, I do know what you mean!

Answer 9

the engagement ring is actually a show of good faith on a promise,,it used to be that the brides family provided a dowry,,but in the last 200 yrs its kind gone by the wayside,,

theres no rule that says you can incorporate a ring for him too if your the one asking

Answer 10

Thats totally up to you, i know woman that buy there fiance a ring with diamonds in it. A friend of mine as her boyfriend to marry her and she presented him with his engagement ring, It can be whatever you want it to be, The stone is up to you, and what he likes too would help! Cuz he has to wear it!! So find out what kind of stone he likes and get him one. My friends boyfriend loved that idea, Its just really up to the couple! It's really up to you!

Answer 11

Since he's going to have a wedding band I would suggest a nice watch or bracelet to wear as an engagement gift.