I just don't "get it"?

Question

This is my first time asking a question on here--I hope I don't get torn apart. I saw a question about parental advisory CDs, asking if the mother should get them for her daughter. I understand people have concern but I don't understand why. I believe in free thinking and letting my kids express themselves. I have raised my children knowing that art (lyrics, poems, stories, and films) are not always based on real life and not to take them literally. Why should we hold our children back from the music they feel like listening to, whether that be, Marilyn Manson, Hillary Duff, Brittany Spears, Slipknot, SOAD, The Backstreet Boys, or John Lennon? Shouldn’t we be raising our children to be free thinkers and let them feel liberated by their own music choices?

Mother of five: Ages--19, 15, 11, 4, and 2.

Ofcourse my two year old doesn't like Manson...she's two. I don't encourage music on my kids, they pick what they like/dislike and can go from there. My two year old is very interested in the wiggles at the moment.

My kids don't swear around me and that's all I care about. Hopefully they don't swear around others but what can I do if I don't know about it? My two youngest don't even associate with my older children so that doesn't present a problem to me.

Answer 1

I am a mother as well.. and I understand what you are saying.. My son did not listen to the music that he does now when he was younger, but.. I allowed him the freedom to explore all music.. I will do that with my daughter when she is old enough as well.. I may not agree with nor like the music my son listens to, as long as a few compromises are met, he can listen to it. My daughter is 2 and my son is 15. My son was raised on everything from Classical to Rock, Country and Oldies, Blues to Rap.. As long as he has an appreciation for all music.. then I don't see the drama.

My daughter loves the Wiggles too.. It's good to see someone else with the same beliefs as me.

Answer 2

This is a difficult situation. Free thinking can be combersome and aimless which may lead to an inefficient learning. A child must have discipline for structuring and organizing information. Free thinking can also lead to creativity and thinking out side the box. Music in our time is a reflection of our society. Our society has extremes in dealing with humanity. Aggressive portrayal or representation will influence your children and so they will act more agressive. But it is not a guarantee that your children will become serial killers by listening to Marilyn Manson. Parental Advisory is there to alert you to understand that the content of an artistic expression will impact your children's psych and degenerate your ideals of free thinking or whatever you may want to achieve through your children.

Answer 3

So, in a sense you are in favor of censoring the types of music you let your children listen to: "I don't let my two year old listen to Manson." To that other parent who was wondering whether or not to purchase the PA music, it is probably the same principle, essentially, is my child old enough to understand that the music might express some very negative things?

Answer 4

I think you have to decide as a parent when and if your child is mature enough to handle the parental advisory music. Some parents want to protect their children from all bad in the world or want them to think the way they think. Music can be a threat to some parents because of the message the lyrics might send. i have always let my children listen to the music they want to listen to based on their age and maturity level.

Answer 5

No, I don't agree with you on this. You can insist until you are blue in the face that sometimes art does not reflect life, but the fact of the matter remains that they are children, and up until a certain age may not have the maturity to fully internalize and comprehend that idea. Don't get me wrong, they can parrot it back to you as long as they can talk, but that doesn't mean that they "get it."

Now, there is no arbitrary number assigned to kids that will determine they are mature enough. For some, it might be as young as 11. For others, kids as old as 15 might get too wrapped up in the worlds certain art forms create. I believe it is up to the parent to know their child well enough to know what is right and good for them and when.

Also, there's the issue of preserving innocence. Children lose their childhood innocence so early nowadays, thanks in part to music and tv shows and movies, etc. that expose them to ideas and concepts they may or may not be mature enough to handle too early.

In my profession, I see plenty of kids who have suffered because of the "free-thinking" attitude their parents have. The sad thing is, in most cases, they aren't aware of what they've lost, but it is apparent in what they say, how they talk, the ideas they express, how they behave, and what they believe. It breaks my heart to see these children feel proud of the fact that they are "aren't little kids anymore" -- even if they're only 12.

Just because they're mature enough doesn't mean that it is necessarily desirable to expose them to things that will strip them of that innocence even earlier. What parent would want that?

Answer 6

I'd be a bit more easy going on the music my teens listen too, but so far, I'm not really keen on letting my 9 & 8 year olds listen to anything I wouldn't.

I agree with you in principal, but feel it is my right to guide them the way I want them to go. This may include not listening to music that promotes violence or makes women look like bimbos.

However, they will be exposed to it at some point in their lives and I hope that I've given them the skills to cope.

Answer 7

I think that you are teaching your children to make informed decisions and allowing them to make "safe" mistakes. I think it is up to each parent to determine if their child is mature enough to understand the content. I have a 6 yr old. There are certain things she is not allowed to watch but at the same time there are things she watches that other children her age don't. She is into lots of different kind of music, like Trace Adkins and Fats Domino, she love Laurie Burkner. I feel like as long as she know that not all things she sees, hears and reads is real we can make decisions together.

Answer 8

I agree with you 100% I hope I am raising my kids to think on their own and to love whatever it is that they love. I think a lot of people forget that we are not raising children, we are raising adults. They have to make their own choices and be free thinking at some point in their lives. I am glad to find someone else who feels the way I do

Answer 9

I always felt that children should listen to what they want, read what they want and express themselves artistically the way they want. The basic rules about living in a society and behavior were very controlled and expected, but creativity? More power to them. We were never afraid of art in any form.

Let them listen. It only has power if you give it to it.

Answer 10

Some of the bands listed have very explicit lyrics, I am for letting children express themselves and be free-thinkers. But would you really want your 11 yearold listening to music that has a swear word everyother word, and talks about killing people, etc???