Me and this guy have been dating and we have strong feelings towards each other..Then all of a sudden he tells me the girl he dated before me, whish is dated her for about 3 weeks and found out she could be pregnant..she hasnt went to the doctor only took a at home test..this will be her second and this will be his first..I care about him a lot and when he told me my heart sank..cause i want to be with him and have OUR first child together..Now it may not happen at all..I need some advice..It is the beginning of the pregnancy, and there will prob be a lot of drama and I dont know if I can handle it..Shoudl I stay or go...Have anyone else been through this?..If so can anyone give me advice?
2006-09-12 15:21:02 · 19 answers · asked by tncountrygirl13 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow - this scenario has a lot of "ifs" in it, primarily because there are decisions that need to be made, and what they are may change your decisions.
Let's assume he's a good guy, and is going to support his kid. If he and his Ex aren't getting back together, then they need to decide how they are going to go about raising this little one. Who takes care of the baby? Who visits and when? Is she even keeping the baby, or giving it up for adoption?
BTW - how he handles this tells you a lot about how he handles The Big T hings In Life. This is also information that you need to know.
For you, once he's decided what he's going to do, you can consider what you want to do. Are you interested in being somebody's Stepmom? If the baby will be part of his life, then it will be part of yours, if you are with him.
Will he be able to support this baby and yours, should you have one? At the very least, if his baby with his Ex isn't being put up for adoption, his time and money are committed to this baby. Doesn't mean he can't have, and care for others, but it means some of his time and money are spoken for already.
When you're thinking about having a baby, it's important to know how the person you're looking at as the father will act, and for all the down side about all of this, you now have the best possible chance to see how he would treat you, and your baby, should you become pregnant.
If you love him - not just lust, but love - and he loves you, then you stick it out and make it work. If you're not sure, it might be a good time to pull back a bit while you give him room to settle all of this, and see what he does, and if your feelings become clearer. Good luck!
2006-09-12 15:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the girl is really pregnant, and he is the father, he will legal have to support this child. If he does what he is supposed to, he is going to be spending a lot of time with the mother and baby. How much time will this leave for you? I think it would be really hard to be in a relationship with so much baggage. I would suggest breaking it off now before things get any more complicated.
2006-09-12 15:30:41 · answer #2 · answered by johnsredgloves 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, I was in your position before. As a guy, my ex girlfriend was having affair with other guy and got pregnant. It's painful to leave someone you care for so much. But it's only right to withdrawn from the battle ground & make the pain short. Like what I did; Immediately I left her without a word & later told her that: it's her choice to have an affair & i have no right to stop it. Al I could do is to give my blessing to her......hope my answer can help....
2006-09-12 15:29:19 · answer #3 · answered by CannonSG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may not want to hear this, but i would have to tell you to leave him...
srry, i just think it is best.
just think, the girl he dated before may be pregnant... and the guy broke up w/ the girl and now is dating someone else...
he may do the same to you. what if yall sleep together, then he breaks up w/ you, and you get pregnant and you have to raise the baby by yourself. that will only lead to more trouble.
if i were in your position, i would find someone i could trust to stay w/ me, and i wouldnt have any sexual relations till after marriage. that way it would be better for the child too, plus its right morally.
hope i helped, ill be prayin for you...
God Bless
2006-09-12 15:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by SMW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't say your age.
My advice is to run away from him as fast as you can.
He will be involved in a lot of money matters later on that will not only not include you but will take away from any relationship you both thought you could have. Sounds like the guy goes around getting females prego, and your standing in line for that would be silly. He might not have the money to provide for your kid(s).
Find another and better bf.
2006-09-12 15:26:36 · answer #5 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His family will always come first, holidays, money everything will be stretched because he has a family to provide for. I'm sure your young and you have plenty of time to find someone and settle down with and start your own family. If your feeling this insecure then maybe its best for you to move on, its only going to get alot tougher from here. One more thing, how are you going to feel when hes at her house for hours on end? You will go insane
2006-09-12 15:26:28 · answer #6 · answered by ♡MaNda♡ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's probably lying to get him back. Wait and really see if she is pregnant and take things slower with your boyfriend until the matter is cleared up. If she's having his baby I'd find someone else. You sound like a nice person. Let them have a chance at a family as hard as that sounds.
2006-09-12 15:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by applecheeks 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok that's hard.. first just relax dont mind to much.. if the girl is really pregnant let the guy decide who he wants to be w/ and ask her what his plan if he will take the responsibility or something.. if he will run away to his responsibility i guess you should go.. but if you really like the guy and you love him.. then stay if you can accept what happened.. every person is not perfect right?? important is you love each other.. and dont let him run to his responsibility to the child.. it's your choice girl.. just follow to your heart and pray to God what is the best way to do go or stay..??
2006-09-12 15:30:11 · answer #8 · answered by Hope 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he love you he will stay w/ you ,but he need to be there also for that baby not the mama (THEBABY)I you need to understand him it a big surprise so his confused too just love each other and try to be there for each other.Hope he dose not have feeling for the other girl! if not your good to go. I was there to when I was 16 so I know how you feeling
2006-09-12 15:33:15 · answer #9 · answered by pinkdivaeight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to follow what your heart tells you.....If you think you could trust him, and if you feel like you can accept the fact that he will be a father, and not of your baby, then risk it....Life is taking risks, if you feel that it will be worth it, go for it....Only you can know that, because you're the one that will be with him, only you can know......Good Luck
2006-09-12 16:02:43 · answer #10 · answered by hey_amt95 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋