When my husband is out of twon i can't be productive. I just an't see me to do my shcool work or my work work. I also hate be home at night....i just fell very scared. I am not a kid i am an adult and i just hate to have this feeling.
I also can't sleep at all..then when he is back i am normal again. I told him and we talked about it, but he has to go to different state and work once in a while. When he does he is gone for one week, I can't tell him not go because he has to work to support as. Please advice only if you are serious if you are not don't bother!
2006-09-12 15:18:56 · 22 answers · asked by Lady-bug 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Go with him sometimes, if possible, get a relative to stay with you when he's gone, get apicture of him, large as life, ask him to call you by phone as much as possible, make some friends for a support group, get religion, get a pet to worry over while he's gone, maybe you can get some free counseling if that does not work.
I wish you well.
2006-09-12 15:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi: You responded to my question I posted the other day about "does anyone have any problems they want to talk about"? I think the reason you are having a hard time in school is that you are worried about the next time your husband will be leaving and you will have to be alone again. The stress is affecting your school and your life. If you are that afraid of being alone, then maybe you can get an alarm system or a puppy for company and to protect you or alert you to noises. Do you live close to other houses or are you out in the country?
I think it would be wise to really examine why you are so afraid of being alone. Something has caused you to feel this anxiety, maybe something relating to childhood or a frightening experience from your past. You are associating this with your husband going out of town, and this is causing your stress level to increase, and this is why you can't concentrate in school. I think your husband needs to be supportive of your fears and try to accommodate you also by getting a job where he can be home every night with you or maybe you could alter your school schedule so when he goes out of town you could go too, and stay in a motel in the same town he is at.
Hope this helps.
If you need to talk more, email me. Jude
2006-09-14 06:18:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey it just sounds like you don't like to be home alone and that you miss him when he is out of town. I hate to live alone myself and because of that I have ended up in some terrible messes. It sounds like you are terribly afraid to be home by yourself at night because you say that you are very scared. Is there someone that can stay with you when your husband is out of town. Do you live in the country or the city? If you can't find anyone to stay with you is there anywhere that you can go stay where you will feel safe while he is gone? If you can't do any of this have you thought of getting a big dog? I live alone or did until a week ago and have the same problems. I have two dogs and they bark when they hear something so i can get up and look around. Try to relax yourself before you go to bed at night take a hot bath and try to relax or keep yourself occupied on your computer time flies when you are on it, or it does for me. Hope it works out for you. God Bless
2006-09-12 22:42:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just scared, that is all. I was exactly like you. KNOW what cured me? A big ole DOG. One that you keep in the house. If you can't have a dog, then the next best thing is to either have a GF come and stay with you, or go to someone's house of the NIGHT. I am guessing if you can know you are going there at night, your day hours will be just fine.
The DOG is the best thing if you want to stay home. Also, make sure you are secure in your home and have precautions which make you feel safe.
2006-09-12 23:54:22 · answer #4 · answered by DA R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was first married I had trouble staying home alone when my husband went out of town. I used to have my mom or sister come spend the night and during the day I was lonely and found it hard to do my day to day stuff. However ... we've been married 11 years now and we have 3 kids and when he has to go out of town it doesn't bother me anymore. You just have to tell yourself that you are and adult and capable of functioning and taking care of yourself without him there. You may learn to ejoy getting a break from him now and then. Rent movies , get a hobby , take a long bath , relax and read a book. Like I said if it helps to have your mom or a friend stay over at night try that for a while... you will get over it.
2006-09-12 22:29:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear that you are lonely; perhaps your marriage has displaced other friendships and connections. Since you understand and accept that there will be these necessary absences, you might want to cultivate other friendships to alleviate your loneliness: co-workers, parents of children's friends, maybe from your church congregation, or volunteer groups? It's hard to make friends when you don't feel like going out, but volunteering gives you a structure to find friends in. Obviously, I'm not suggesting drinks in a bar or tom-catting on a Friday night. Honestly, keeping busy--with worthwhile tasks--will help with the down times when your husband is gone. God bless and good luck.
2006-09-12 22:33:29 · answer #6 · answered by coneytech 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
during the time he's gone, maybe try to have a friend stay with you or go stay with a friend. i get a little freaked out staying home at night alone, and i really don't have an answer for that. i have a child and a dog, and it's still a little weird at times.
maybe try talking to a therapist or something to help you deal with your negative feelings. just remember, you were your own person prior to being married. try to find things to do when he's out of town that he may not enjoy doing. for example, i'm a homebody. my husband is not. so when he's not home, i tend to vegetate in my pj's and do crafts or watch girlie movies that he definitely doesn't like. he was gone all weekend and i didn't leave the house for 36 hours. it was great.
hang in there!
2006-09-12 22:30:34 · answer #7 · answered by irish_3078 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to gain a little more independence. Being in love is one thing and wonderful, but being TOTALLY dependent on someone is something else. You must have friends or relatives or someone to visit with. Or is there any clubs you could join for the evenings he's away? Feeling that way is not fun, but it is very counter productive as you know. Your mental well being is all a state of mind honey, so you just have to change your mind that's all.
2006-09-12 22:31:44 · answer #8 · answered by brooklynsss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually do agree with the 'get a dog'. Having a pet will keep the house from seeming so empty - and give you something to do - take care of it's needs.
Also, discussing this with a doctor, therapist or even a close friend that can maybe spend some time with you while he's away.
Good Luck!
2006-09-12 22:25:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. Feeling this way must be extremely hard. I suggest you see a therapist even if you only commit to doing one or two sessions. You need a professional that can get to the root of the problem in order to conquer this anxiety. Good Luck
2006-09-12 23:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by genuine1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋